The best example of what a truly good friend looks like has probably been right in front of you all along. Although there are many great friendships in the television and celebrity realm, these are not always attainable, as they are fictional relationships. So how about a real life example to try to replicate? Your mom’s friendships.
Adults have already gone through the dramas involved with securing the vinas who are right for them and shedding the not so good ones. My mom is a badass lady and an exceptional friend. I am jealous of the friendships she has developed thus far in life; she has a handful of soul sisters who are always present in our lives.
Of varying ages, socioeconomic backgrounds and diverse heritage, all of the friendships my mother cultivates have been exceedingly positive influences in her life (as well as mine). I am able to witness first hand how committed, interested, and full of love she and her vinas are. I see how my own friendships may be lacking, but I have to remind myself that I am quite young and my friendships have plenty of time to grow, multiply, and solidify. Especially now that I’m using the Hey! VINA app to find gals in my hood with similar interests.
My mom and Danielle have been friends for over fifteen years and it shows in the way they interact with each other. Both are always extremely interested in the goings ons of their lives, even the seemingly mundane stuff like:
Mom: Did you do something different in this room?
Danielle: I moved the couch thirteen centimeters to the left. What do you think?
Mom: OH MY GOODNESS YOU ARE TRULY A GENIUS! What a difference it makes! Will you be my interior designer?!
Sometimes it’s laughable how in love they are with one another, but mostly it’s enviable and adorable. When my mother gets promoted at work or starts a new creative side project, Danielle is usually the second to know about it (after me of course). She gets so excited and showers my mom with compliments of the mind, body, and soul; along with suggestions on how to approach the situation, whatever it may be. And vice versa. If Danielle is over for coffee on a Saturday morning, expect that she will be in the breakfast nook for a minimum of four hours.
Her love for my mom bleeds through to us [me and my siblings]. When I am participating in a fashion show, she is there; front and center, she takes pictures and videos while my mom inevitably forgets to document anything. I know that even if there comes a day when my mom and Danielle no longer live a few blocks away, they are soul sisters and forever vinas.
My mom loves to help her vinas pursue their passions (as do I), and she knows just about everything so she always has at least a few ideas (I’m still learning). Mom is also great at affirmations of talent and direction. She wants to make sure her vinas are always confident in themselves and their work; she would never insult any endeavor a vina undertakes. She has met some extraordinary people working in the creative realm and fashion industry where she has befriended many like minded individuals. She always finds an excuse to support her vinas’ passions.
When I wanted my senior pictures to be “cool and out of the ordinary,” she immediately thought of her coworker Jenna. An afternoon spent shooting in a cemetery, and they have been friends ever since. Jenna now lives about two hours away, but she frequently comes up to spend a night or two with us. She and my mom will sit for hours researching brands/publications to submit her work to and they love every minute of it.
Until you find friends who will ceaselessly have your back, don’t put too much emotional energy into the surface level friendships. Enjoy them for what they are, but save your deep down love for those soul sisters and forever vinas who are somewhere in the world waiting for you too. Likewise, don’t limit yourself to vinas only within your age group. Some of my very best friends are upwards of forty years old; they are the best listeners and mentors I could ever dream of having in my life.
(feature image via Egan Day)