In your opinion, who counts as a “friend”?

Is it someone with whom you share your secrets? Someone you text when you’re having a bad day? Someone you have lunch or coffee with periodically?

Well, yeah, these are all swell and good criteria for discerning who your friends are. But I’m here to proffer some different qualifications, some of which are, perhaps, a little less polite but are 100 percent real, nonetheless.

Does your vina…

• check your crotch for period stains?
• have enough hideous snapchats to blackmail you with eternally?
• hang out with you when you look like crap? And then proceed to tell you that you look like crap?
• know your drink order?
• hold your hair when you’re vomiting from those same drinks?
• smell any item of yours and say, “This smells like you”?
• borrow your stuff? Without asking?
• pop your hard-to-reach zits?
• drive you to the airport at the a**crack of dawn?
• perform bodily functions in front of you with no qualms?
• smell your breath?
• consult you prior to any purchase via Snapchat, FaceTime or any other visual form of communication?
• know your phone number by heart?
• sit in silence with you for, like, 30 minutes?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, congratulations! You’ve found yourself one valuable vina. Because, let’s be real, friendship’s not just about the coffee dates and the “what are you doing tonight?” texts.

Find more for real friends through the Hey! VINA app.