TALKING SAFE SEX WITH NEW PARTNERS

I love sex as much as the next vina. It’s empowering, liberating, and just plain fun, but if you’re not taking the necessary precautions, sex can end up being a traumatizing experience. The first step to avoiding a bad time? Talk to your new partner about safe sex. I get it – when it’s getting hot and heavy in the bedroom the last thing you probably want to do is talk about contraceptives.

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But it’s 2019, vinas. It’s time we disregard the notion that talking about safe sex is a mood-killer. Do you know what’s unsexy to me? Unplanned pregnancies and/or sexually transmitted infections.

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So how do you talk about sex safe with new partners? Well, let’s break it down:

COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE

If you trust another person with your body, you should be able to trust that you can have open and honest conversations about sex with them too. This should always be an open-ended conversation as situations can change at any given moment. You and your partner should be on the same page at all times.

GET TESTED. SERIOUSLY.

It’s up to your discretion how much you want to disclose about your sexual history, but it’s wise to suggest getting tested with your new partner before having sex. It’s especially vital if you and your partner have agreed to be non-monogamous and are seeing other people.

FEELING SAFE IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS BEING SAFE.

I hate to admit that I’ve been in one too many situations where I did not feel safe. It’s essential to be vocal and communicate how you feel with your partner, if you can, to avoid long-lasting regret. Remember, it’s okay to change your mind. You do not owe anyone, anything, especially sex.

ALWAYS BE PREPARED

Look, in an ideal world, you’d be able to have a talk about the logistics every single time before you strip down, but sometimes that’s not the case. Which is why it’s extra important to keep yourself safe and be prepared. If that means getting yourself on the pill, the patch, getting some dental dams, or keeping a couple of condoms on you, then so be it. Always be prepared.

At the end of the day, you get the final say when it comes to your body. So get to talkin’. Start the dialogue between you and your partner, because the sooner you do, the sooner you get to enjoy worry-free sexy time.

Talking about safe sex methods with fellow vinas made it easier to talk to my partners. Ready to find a fellow confidant? Download the Hey! VINA app today!

THE PROBLEM WITH PORN

The female form is a beautiful thing. Women, once considered goddesses, are known for their enchanting male-magnetism. Men would fall to a woman’s feet for the chance to be in her presence.

Now, let’s get back to the 21st century. Imagine a woman who has a petite waist and a plump, full butt. Her breasts are perfectly proportionate and symmetrical. But men are not throwing themselves at this woman; they are throwing her around! We are talking about porn, of course. Porn has become the most lucrative industry, generating about 3,000 dollars a second. A SECOND!

By the time you finish reading this article, the porn industry will have made over half a million dollars—but, what is the real price we are paying?

THE PROBLEM WITH PORN & THE BRAIN

Fight the New Drug is an organization that aims to raise awareness for people to make informed decisions regarding pornography. The things that we are seeing in the porn industry are actually overpowering the emotions and sexual encounters we are having in real life. Not only does the brain become chemically altered, but it also changes the perception of our relationships and affects our ability to become aroused by real people.

THE PROBLEM WITH PORN IN RELATIONSHIPS

In some relationships, partners may be completely comfortable watching porn together. After all, they are joining millions of others doing the same thing at that moment. Unfortunately, what oftentimes happens is that watching porn can start affecting the relationship. Porn is seen as a body that is used to give and receive sexual pleasure. After a while, we begin to see ourselves differently and judge our own bodies (whether or not we are living up to the expectations of these actors). The judgment we pass on ourselves takes a toll on our self-image, our feelings, and our security of being in a loving relationship.

“Porn has been linked with people being less committed to their partners, less satisfied in their relationships, and more cynical about love in general,” according to Fight the New Drug. This doesn’t help that society is rapidly deteriorating, along with many morals and values being thrown out the window.

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THE PROBLEM WITH PORN ON OUR FUTURE

My biggest problem with porn is because of the fact that I have children. My son is 18, and by legal standards, an adult. By now it’s statistically safe to assume that he has watched porn. My worry doesn’t come from what he sees, but from what he learns. A Youth Internet Safety Survey found that 15% of people from 12 to 17 years of age have intentionally searched for pornographic material. Most males and females use porn as an educational way to learn about different types of sexual acts are performed. Teenagers use porn as a parameter to know if what they are doing is considered “good” in terms of pleasure.

Unfortunately, teenagers are not learning about the fundamentals that build a healthy relationship and a healthy sexual experience. As society declines in communication and trust, our youth has nowhere else to turn for their questions to be answered but to porn. Age verification is a thing of the past, where anyone can click a button to verify that they are 18 or older. Porn is not what it used to be. It’s no longer taboo in conversations or embarrassing when mentioned. The way people are viewing porn and themselves is changing.

Say goodbye to the porn and say hello to a little self-love and self-fulfillment. Download Hey! VINA today to surround yourself with vinas who are looking for empowerment, just like you!

MASTURBATION: YOUR FINGERS TALK, BUT DO YOU?

‘I Touch Myself’ by The Divinyls became a big hit in the 1990s, talking about the beauty of masturbation. And on average, women masturbate twice a week, which is totally awesome. So the question is: Why aren’t more women talking about their self-pleasuring?

Back in the 1700s, women might’ve been scared to speak up because history led some to believe that masturbation would result in a large amount of grief—anything from depression to possible death. In fact, the idea of masturbation was so largely frowned upon that cures were invented and practices came into play so that people would avoid masturbating altogether.

Thankfully, now we now know that those theories are 100% untrue and completely opposite to what a wonderful tool masturbation can be in your life.

Men and women, young and old, people in relationships, and those that are single, all masturbate. The act of masturbating can relieve stress, lower blood pressure, and stimulate creativity while helping a vina reconnect with her body.

Most vinas are busy talking about their significant other, kids, work, school, pets or the latest episode of The Bachelorette. Few vinas are talking about how their fingers did some strategic walking in the clitoral region after this morning’s shower. Why bother bringing it up? Saving face of embarrassment and mortification, a vina will withhold her self-pleasure ritual and keep what could possibly be her most exciting moment of ecstasy to herself.

Breaking the ground and bringing up masturbation is totally cringe-worthy. We get it! Masturbation talk is definitely worth that pint of ice cream sitting in the freezer that will calm your nerves later. But we should encourage vinas to be open with their self-pleasure.

HOW SHOULD A VINA SHARE HER MASTURBATION MOMENTS?

  • Find trustworthy vinas. The topic is not going to appeal to everyone, but knowing your audience will make the discussion flow better. You will feel more comfortable talking about your self-intimacy with people who can see you without casting judgment.
  • Be playful. Masturbating is not about finding the exact location, time, and date of the volcanic-erupting climax. It’s a fun and satisfying way to explore your body and feel comfortable with yourself. A smile or giggle while giving a tip or trick will go a long way. Your comfortable nature will have other friends feeling secure enough that soon they will be sharing their secrets, too.
  • Do it for yourself. Obviously your fiery fingers and voracious vibrators are taking care of you just fine, but share your masturbating moments to feel better about yourself. Having the confidence to go where no vina is willing to go is empowering. You’re reclaiming your body and your womanhood and should feel proud of taking care of business on your own.

Talking about masturbation is not as common as it should be amongst your circle. Being confident and open about your experiences may surprise you with how many more vinas want to bring up the subject. So let’s get talking!

We all need those vinas in our lives who we can talk about anything with! Start swiping.