FINDING FRIENDSHIP THROUGH YOGA

This piece originally appeared on The Wanderlust Journal.

“All of my friends are guys. Girls are crazy.”

Somewhere between a relatively normal childhood and the high drama of my 20s, this became my story. It probably started somewhere in my relationship with my mom, gathered steam through a string of destructive romances, and was cemented in the bridge-burning melee of my party days.

I didn’t even know that I missed, or needed, female friendship until I finally broke free from my last toxic relationship. After a month-long, 200-hour yoga teacher training forced me to take a hard look at who I was and what I wanted, I packed up and left a five-year disaster.

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To my great surprise, a former roommate came through to nurse my wounds with home-cooked meals and motherly energy. I’d been less than kind to her when we lived together, as I was buried under the weight of daily heartbreak. But after the introspection of the training, I realized that her warmth was without pretense. The fact that she still wanted to be my friend after I’d been such a mess was the first step in unraveling my long-held self-loathing.

To continue reading, please click through to The Journal for more. 

THE VINA GUIDE TO LOVING YOURSELF

February—better known as “the month of love“—has had us ladies fantasizing about all things relationships, flowers, chocolates, romantic evenings and wine related. However, I have one question for you: What’s more special than celebrating a love that is deeper than the seas, a love that is as loyal as it comes, a love that has been there since day one, a love that lasts a lifetime? AKA, SELF-LOVE.

Now I know this new trendy epidemic of self-love looks really appealing on social media—filled with facemasks, bubble baths, aromatherapy and so on—which I’m totally not knocking, I love it! But to really love yourself is to really put the work in. Luckily, us vina gals are empowered to make a difference in our lives, so let’s get through this guide together, okay?

1) TO LOVE THYSELF, IS TO PUT THYSELF FIRST

When was the last time you put yourself first? For some of us, it isn’t that easy. We might be people-pleasers, draining our own energy to be there for others. Some of us might be mothers, some of us might work three jobs just to get by, but have you heard of the word “self-preservation”? There comes a time where we need to literally say “enough is enough” and admit that you need some me time. And that is totally okay! Preserve some time every day, whether it’s an hour or 10 minutes, and just do what you and your body need at that moment. Give yourself some space to rejuvenate!

2) SWITCH THE NARRATIVE: SPEAK WELL TO YOURSELF. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF

How many of us know how to take a compliment, without answering it back with a bit of belittlement about ourselves? How many of us compliment others, without ever complimenting ourselves? If we continue to talk down to ourselves, talk ourselves out of opportunities, feel worthless or inadequate, believe what others view us as, we will truly live that narrative. So, switch it up! Speak powerfully and presently to yourself: “I am beautiful, I am successful, I am living a wonderful, happy life.” When we speak in the present moment, our minds will start believing it. Find power even in your weaknesses. Be patient with yourself. You are what you think, so make it a good thought 😉 Another ritual of self-love is speaking up for yourself. Saying “no” more often to please yourself doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a smart person who knows what you want and aren’t afraid to express it. Speaking up even when your voice shakes is a great form of self-love.

3) STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS + VALUE YOURSELF

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You saw the memes, the quotes, the “new year, new me” resolutions and this for sure was one of them. So, stop comparing, start valuing! Value your mind, value your heart, value your ideas, value what makes you unique and stand out, value your body which protects you, moves you, allows you to experience the world, and loves you even through your own self-criticism. Your value is more than a physical attribute, it goes deeper than that. “I hated my way into loving myself,” said no one ever! No one can get to a place of happiness without accepting what is. And if I can be your hype-woman for a second: what you are, right in this moment, is so beautiful, colorful, vibrant and unique! Value everything that makes you, you. The only person you should compare yourself to is who you were yesterday.

4) END ALL TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS—ASAP

There is just no time for us ladies to be consumed by relationships that make us feel anything less than amazing. Did you know that toxic relationships can cause energy depletion, stress and anxiety, low self-esteem, fatigue, lack of concentration and a weak immune system? Relationships should uplift you, make you want to do better, feel motivated to achieve your goals, and you should feel like you have a supportive partner all the way! If you are experiencing the opposite of that, then it’s best to cut the cord, move on and rise up! Don’t let anyone hold you down. You know what you need for you, deep down.

5) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD VINAS!

So, this one kind of goes with number 4, but it needs to be said! By surrounding yourself with people who believe in you, support you, want to see you do great things and push you to be your best self, that energy can only raise you up and enhance your best self. Good friends, good memories, good food are all a wonderful part of wellness and self-love. Find the gal gang you need over at Hey! VINA to start building that loving circle. 

6) LET GO OF THE PAST, SAY HELLO TO YOUR BRIGHT FUTURE

Past traumas, heartbreaks, wounds, grudges can be very hard to let go of, and this might be a step that needs some extra support from someone you trust. But by knocking down the walls that bound you—that have left you with some resentment or anger in your heart—we can unload the burdens that, in fact, might be holding us back from truly living our best lives. You know you deserve better. Your future deserves better. So why not give the gift of letting go and putting to rest the past to make for an even better future?

7) DON’T WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO CHOOSE YOU, CHOOSE YOURSELF

For our vinas who are single hoping to mingle for Valentine’s day, remember that just because you’re single doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of love! You are the best gift you could give yourself! So let’s get cheesy with our social media posts of self-love rituals and bubble baths with a glass of champagne. Give some MAJOR sensual self-love and show off how loving ourselves hasn’t been easy, but is so worth it in the end. You deserve the world.

So vinas, be good to yourself, push through limiting beliefs, your time is now to radiate! Check out Hey! Vina to empower other women and to start loving yourself.

Q&A WITH THE MOTH’S “STORYTELLING GURU” KATE TELLERS

Hailed as a “storytelling guru” by the Wall Street Journal, Brooklyn-based Kate Tellers knows a thing or two about captivating an audience and relating to others. Finding her voice through the narrative podcast The Moth, she is now host and director of MothWorks, a program of workshops geared to harness the power of storytelling as a communication tool for business solutions. Her clients can range from stand up comedians to Fortune 500 CEOs, but they all have one thing in common: Once she’s done working with them, they understand the power of a strong narrative.

She sat down with VINAZINE to offer advice on role models, leadership, how to be a better communicator, as well as facing hard losses.

Q: Thanks for talking to VINAZINE! From your experience, what is the most important thing in creating genuine relationships with other people?
A: I think the answer is in the question: A genuine relationship is one that’s honest. Where each person accepts the other for who they truly are, and sometimes that person is messy, or can’t stop accidentally sharing spoilers for Big Little Lies, and that’s fine. That total acceptance lifts up the good stuff, too, because it just makes it easier to celebrate each others’ wins and leave competitiveness aside. That’s my friend, I know them inside and out and they damn well deserve that.

Q: For the novice, what is the key to being a good communicator and what steps can you take to become one?
A: So much about being a good communicator is about creating an authentic connection with an audience and making them care. The best thing you can do is consider what it is that you’re trying to communicate and why you, personally, care about it. If you care, then your audience has a reason to and the inspiration to lean forward and listen. We’re constantly being communicated at; The best communicators can get to the heart of the message, the big why underneath, and connect to that.

Q: What do you think is the most significant barrier to women leadership?
A: I think there is still inherent discomfort in the world with the experience of being a woman. We default to men in leadership because that’s what we know, because those are the stories that have always been told, and they’re familiar and predictable. So that has to change. We need to acknowledge our discomfort with what is different and less known, and truly commit to being aware of making choices that make things better, even if we’re moving into uncharted territory. Diversity, and this goes beyond gender, is essential. Challenging the norm doesn’t always feel easy or good, but new ideas and perspectives are the only way to progress.

Q: Your Moth story, “But Also Bring Cheese,” touches on losing perhaps the most important relationship in a woman’s life—that with her mother. In times of loneliness, where have you found your support system, and what would you say to others that are dealing with similar feelings?
A: After my mother passed away, we, her family and close friends, sat in her living room and told stories about her. My aunt told me about watching my mother dive down to roll around on the floor with me and my sister when we were little kids, and how it was so obvious how much she loved us. That memory has always stuck with me, and now that I have children of my own, I’ll have moments when I’m on the floor with them and I’ll remember how much I was loved and how I can show my love to my children in a way that sticks around longer than I might.

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Kate Tellers, courtesy of The Moth

A few months after she died, I went to a Moth event, and the act of listening to and telling stories has become fundamental to who I am. Telling a story about someone is the one real way that we have to bring them into the present, and it reminds us that the people and events that have come before us matter, and that part of them can live on forever.

So I’d say find a place where you can tell your stories. It could be on-stage with thousands of people, maybe it’s the regular practice of writing in a journal. Maybe you’ll find people who will listen and that will feel right; Maybe in thinking about your stories, a memory will pop up and feel like a visit. Perhaps you’ll notice similarities between the two of you that you never saw before, or maybe you’ll remind yourself of something she taught you, and that can be a way that she guides you into the future without her.

Also, every year on the day that she passed away, I do a toast. One year my husband, who never met her, learned how to make our family’s Lebanese spinach pies and we threw a party. Other years it’s just been us taking a moment to mark the passage of time without one spectacular woman. I find the act of remembering to be very healing.

Q: Give the younger you – the woman just barely beginning her career – the top three pieces of advice you’ve gained in retrospect.
A: One—Working with people means spending time with human beings. Take care of yourself so that you can be your best self with your colleagues, and treat them with genuine interest and respect. Two—More often than not, your managers and mentors care about your happiness. That doesn’t mean that it’s their job to give you only assignments that will spark full-blown joy, but they’re likely spending more time than you think considering how to make your work worthwhile, not only for your org. but for you, too. Three—Give your time to the things that make you happy, even if there isn’t an obvious direct route to a job. At the very least you’re setting yourself up should an opportunity arise, and you’re growing as a person who is more qualified to be in the spaces that move you.

Q: What is your definition of happiness?
A: I experience true happiness when I feel like everything that has happened in my life has led me to the moment I am living in right now.

Q: What woman inspires you and why?
A: Chicago’s first Commissioner of Cultural Affairs and subject of the wildly popular Malcolm Gladwell piece in the New Yorker, “Six Degrees of Lois Weisberg.” She was described in the New York Times as “a whirlwind of civic enthusiasm.” Lois had friends in social circles across Chicago and, as a “connector,” brought people together to better communities and bring art to new spaces. I admire that she maintained a diverse friend circle, and she was able to see the potential in those friends to come together and do great good.

Featured picture by Jason Falchook for The Moth.

Looking to connect with other inspiring women? Download the Hey! VINA app and start swiping! 

HOW TO START OVER AFTER A BREAKUP

Life after a failed relationship isn’t easy: you are bound to reinvent yourself, to re-adapt into a world that is no longer made for two. Truth is, there is no single formula on how to start over again, just as there is no single formula on how to build a routine and stick to it.

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Back to relationships: every background is different. Do you share the same group of friends or workplace with your ex? Are you close to each other families? Did you end up in “good terms?” Does it still hurt to call him “ex?” Whether you are the one who made the final decision or not, you must rebuild your life. You are on your own now (think of it as liberated!), and you have to fill the holes left by him (or her) with other people and new interests. You might be still in a dark place. You might think that there is nothing good enough to replace him, or you even might think that without him you are not as special.

But here is a fact: you are still the same person. Seriously! That funny, active, creative, extraordinary human being that you are is still right here, but only more wise, more mature, and you now know better what is best for you.

I won’t call them rules, but here are some hints that will help you focus on what is important while recovering from a breakup:

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TAKE THE CHANCE TO START ANEW. Breaking up with someone can be a wake-up call on how we are guiding our lives. Perhaps after you broke up, you realized how much you prioritized your ex. Perhaps there was nothing else that you considered meaningful and of your own. I encourage you to take a moment and think. You are free to take on any project you want. Who do you want to be? In which direction do you want your life to go?

RECAP WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Wait, are you one of those gals that stopped being a gal when in a ferocious relationship with this guy? We get it; it happens. This new relationship absorbed so much from you that you stopped seeing most of your friends. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons your relationship didn’t work either, as you put all your emotional needs on a single person. Now, you find yourself back and don’t know how to approach your old friends… Truth? Well, don’t worry, if they are truly good friends, they’ll understand. Explain your situation to them, be kind and do not demand instant complicity: things will not be the same from one day to the other, so don’t rush it and give it time. Also, don’t do it again when the new perfect guy shows up.

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MAKE NEW FRIENDS. Look at your mobile apps. Do you see this cute white logo, the one that says “Hey!”? That’s your new best friend. Trust me. Before you get into another affair of the soul your broken heart is not ready for yet (think: app with red flame logo), realize this is the time to meet new people. Be bold and take the chance to meet up with vinas. New lifestyles and activities will bring you to places and environments that are safe. Go to places that don’t have strong associations with your ex. Build new memories.

REBOUNDS HELP (SOMETIMES).  Having a rebound is fun and it can be healthy as it makes you come out of your cave; put some makeup on, and see the light of the day ( or the light of the club). It can be very exciting, but hey–it can also be disappointing. It isn’t gonna feel as exciting or fulfilling as when you were in love. Still, if you want, take the chance of experiencing something new and fresh where there are no resentments, lies or disappointments. It is just a blank page you can start writing whatever you want to write. Be careful though! Protect yourself!

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DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU. If sometimes you feel like being alone, watching a sad film and letting your tears come out, do it. Sometimes, you just have to let the emotions out. The sooner you cry out everything you have to cry, the sooner a smile will come up your face. If you feel like partying, do it. Perhaps you feel like being active and exercising nonstop. That’s really good, too. The important thing is that you feel complete and treat yourself. Just look that you do all of it with the right balance.

CONTACT/NO CONTACT Ah, this is complicated. It really depends on every breakup. Sometimes your ex is still your best friend and will help you go through the adaptation to your new situation. But most of the times, it is just better that you do your own thing for a while. You probably won’t want to know when your ex meets a new girl or has an amazing trip planned for the summer. If this person was toxic for you or you realize that even after breaking up you are still too dependent on him, don’t doubt on trying stronger measures: temporarily unfollow from social networks and delete him from your phone contacts. These can seem extreme but will give you the space you really need. When you’re feeling down, call your favorite vina and talk it out with her.

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PATIENCE. Breakups are messy and very emotional. It’s going to take some time to feel less vulnerable and more stable. Perhaps you think you are making massive progress (and, in truth, you are!), but then your ex shows up unexpectedly at a party and that affects you more than you wished. Maybe you break apart. It’s important to know: That is okay. It will be okay. Real change is slow. The good news? You have come a long way and the next day, you are gonna be stronger than ever.

So plan something fun with your friends. Be kind to yourself. And remember you will heal and find someone deserving of all you have to offer.

Looking for new vinas to help you through your heartache? Start swiping now.

Feature image @citroenzx.tumblr.com

5 PERFECT FALL VINA DATES

Fall is, without a doubt, the. Best. Season. Ever. It’s nice enough weather-wise to do just about anything outside, but also cool enough that you don’t feel bad curling up on the couch under a warm blanket with a nice cup of tea. Whatever you’re in the mood for, here are five vina date ideas to spice up your fall!

SCARY MOVIE NIGHT

Curl up on the couch with your fave vinas and binge-watch all your favorite Halloween movies. Choose between a hether a horror movie marathon or seasonal childhood favorites and watch away!

CARVE PUMPKINS

What better way to get ready for Halloween than to carve a pumpkin with your vinas! Must-have items include some wine, some Halloween tunes, and the funniest designs you can find. What more could you need?

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GET LOST IN A CORN MAZE

Nothing is more fun than exploring a corn maze and ending up hopelessly lost for an hour in the gorgeous fall weather. Stick together and finding the exit with your vinas is a great bonding activity that will make you closer than ever before!

GO APPLE PICKING

The crisp air, the crunchy apples and the special fall photo-op make apple picking the perfect weekend activity. Plus, you could take your freshly picked apples and learn to bake an apple pie for you and your vinas!

GO TO A FEAR FARM

Fear farms are simultaneously the best and worst part about Halloween.  Something about that adrenaline rush from the jump scarese is so fun to experience with your vinas.

No matter what you are doing, being with your vinas is all that really matters. So go out and enjoy your day with your fave girls!

Ready to do one of these activities? Start swiping on Hey! VINA to find your vinas and make it happen! 

SOCIAL LIFE HACKS: WAYS TO SUPERCHARGE YOUR SOCIAL LIFE

Is your social life in need of a boost? Is life all work and no play? Would you like to boost your chances of meeting more like-minded vinas? I don’t know about you, but keeping up with old vinas can be a challenging enough, never mind getting out to meet new vinas. Then you throw in the frenzied pace of modern life and schedules that never seem to fit–eek! So just for you lovely vinas, I’ve put together a little alternative inspiration; some simple but easy to implement ideas that might just help add that sparkle back into your social life. Yes, it’s time to set that sweet (but dormant) social butterfly a flutter!

COLOR THERAPY

Any excuse to revamp that wardrobe or splash some new paint on the walls, right? Choose bright and uplifting colors to lift the energy and create an air of optimism and positivity around you. Select shades of yellow, orange, peach and pink for decorations and accessories around the areas of the home where you’d like to encourage gatherings. Choose to wear these colors to bring out an air of creativity and warmth which will draw new vinas towards you.

CANDLE MAGIC

A simple candle magic spell can help to put you on the right path to improving your social life. Choose an orange colored candle to symbolize positivity, and to help you picture the kinds of situations that you’d like to be in, with the like-minded people who you’d like to be around. Make a list of what you would like from your social life, and light the candle, whilst practicing mindfulness and welcoming new experiences into your life.

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FENG SHUI

In Feng Shui, fame, reputation and social life area is located on the very center of the back wall of the property you live in. This sector is ruled by the “fire” element, which is symbolized by the sun, and represented by the colors red and orange. If you can’t redecorate this area, try placing red or orange colored objects in and around this area, or including images of happy vinas doing the kind of things you’d like your social life to be bustling with. Tip: magazine cut-outs work fine!

CRYSTAL HEALING

Red Jasper is known as the ‘supreme nurturer’ and is the stone of empowerment, helping to remind you that you can bring joy and substance to others. It’s important to be able to recognize your own qualities and abilities (indulging in a little self-love) before looking for new social opportunities. If you find you have little time for your vinas but you’d like to help them out more, meditate and focus on your goals whilst holding this stone. Carry your crystal with you when you are out and about at social gatherings with vinas, or other events where like-minded people may be hanging out.

Along with these social life-hacks, download the Hey! VINA app to boost your social life even more! 

 

 

HOW TO PUT THE BEST IN BEST FRIEND

Despite the saying, “friends come and go but family is forever,” there’s a reason BFF is short for best friend forever, not best family forever. Think of it like this–everyone has a soulmate, right? Well, that doesn’t just stop at significant others, spouses and partners. We all have people out there that are so close to our hearts and souls that they’re permanently a part of us. We all have them and they usually come in the form of best friends–the forever kind.

These friends are the ones we’d do anything for, our “ride-or-dies.” As best friends, we want more than anything for them to be happy, and whatever we can do to make that happen is one of our major priorities. Here are some ways to put the “best” in best friend and be the best vina you can be.

TRUTH ABOVE ALL

Everyone lies. Our parents, our family, our friends, strangers, everyone. Without a doubt, we’ve all lied to the ones we love, but it’s important that we adhere to the truth as much as we can in all situations. If we can’t be true to the ones we love then we are, in a sense, saying they aren’t worth it (and they definitely are). They love us no matter what, no conditions and no exceptions; lying isn’t needed and it isn’t worth it. We can fake it until we make it all we want to the amalgam of strangers that surround us, but for the ones we love we should bare all and trust that they will be there through thick and thin.

BE THEIR LIGHT IN THE DARK

Our best friends are the ones we rely on the most, besides our family and our significant others (maybe even more than those). We expect them as our best friends to pick us up when everything else is pushing us down. They’re our light in the dark, like a lighthouse calling us home from the abyss of the sea. If we expect anything from them we have to give just as much. Being a best friend is more than just knowing all of each other’s grossest habits and having inside jokes; it’s about supporting each other in the of ups and downs of life.

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ACCEPTANCE WITHOUT CONDITION

Empathy and compassion are what make us human, and we lend them most to those closest to us. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days (sorry, not sorry for the Hannah Montana reference) and a best friend takes it all, the good and the bad, no matter what. We all have character flaws and they don’t only impact us; they can spread to our loved ones and affect them negatively. However, as William Faulkner wisely proposed, we don’t only love because, we also love despite. Those who love us most will love us despite our flaws. A best friend will always understand and always forgive. Sometimes we feel the need to judge others and project our sense of right and wrong onto them, but friendship doesn’t thrive when we try to control and change the other. If we accept the ones we love for their entire selves and forgive them no matter how screwed up things get, we inspire a love that will last a lifetime and forever after.

The most important thing to remember is that a relationship takes effort on both parts. It won’t always be easy, but if everything were easy, it wouldn’t be worth it. Finding your best friend and keeping them close is one of the most important things a person can do. Friends make life worth living and they’re more than worth the effort it takes to be the best friend you could be, day in and day out.

Find your best friend forever on Hey! VINA today! Download it, join communities and start swiping and meeting!

 

 

10 FUN FALL VINA DATE IDEAS

‘Tis the season for sweater weather, all things spooky, and of course, all things pumpkin spice. While we all love going to the mall or grabbing brunch, it can get repetitive. With fall (A.K.A. the best season) coming soon, why not get creative with how you hang with your vinas? We are here to bring you brand new dates ideas for you and your gals to enjoy. Those cute fall boots were made for walkin’ so let’s start our autumn adventures!

A HAUNTED HOUSE

Get spooky with a fellow vina by visiting the scariest house on your block or attending the nearest haunted attraction. We recommend not splitting up though!

YOUR LOCAL FARMER’S MARKET

Fall is the time for hearty soups, warm casseroles and all the comfort food that taste the best with fresh ingredients.

A PUMPKIN PATCH

You won’t find the Great Pumpkin like Charlie Brown, but hopefully, you’ll go home with a mini pumpkin and ton of new pics for Instagram. (Fall is the perfect time for amping up your Insta game!)

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GO. . .

FOR A HIKE

With the beautiful fall foliage, going on a hike is the best way to enjoy the view while getting in a great workout.

APPLE PICKING

Why is the apple such a fall staple? We don’t know, but we’re not complaining! Take a trip to an apple orchard and stock up on apples to make pies, strudels and even hot apple cider.

CAFE HOPPING

Forget Starbucks and visit your city’s coziest cafes to warm up. We recommend hot chocolate, peppermint tea and, sure, pumpkin spice latte.

VOLUNTEERING

Not only is volunteering a great way to help those in need, but it’s also known to make you a happier person. Add a vina, and you’ve got yourself the perfect definition of do good, feel good.

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HOST. . .

A COSTUME PARTY

Who says kids are the only ones who can have fun on Halloween? Host your own costume party with less candy and a little more costume–because you know, us vinas are all about dressing up in the best costumes!

A POTLUCK

A potluck is not only a great way to get to know multiple vinas, but it’s also fantastic for picking up new recipes and sharing your new, home-cooked dish.

A THANKSGIVING DINNER

While we’re all for family, not everyone can see theirs on holidays. Channel your inner Monica Geller and treat some vinas to your very own Friendsgiving (minus the turkey head, of course).

Looking for new vinas to spend the fall (and forever) with? Start swiping here! And don’t forget to search open plans in your area to join up with new vinas!

WHY YOU NEED MORE VINAS IN YOUR LIFE

Friendship is an ever-evolving, beautiful thing, and even though vinas come and go throughout our lives, one thing remains constant: the critical role they play. Because vinas are so important, let’s take a look at a few reasons why you need more vinas in your life.

CONNECTION

Humans are social creatures. We crave socialization, affection, and connection. Even more so, we have a psychological need to connect with like-minded people. What better way to do that than to include more vinas in your life? Let’s make some life-long vina-ships!

SUPPORT

In good times and bad, good vinas are there for you. The more vinas in your life, the bigger your support system to lean on through the rough patches. It goes both ways though; especially during such a critical time for females supporting females, you’ll have a chance to show your fierce-vina loyalty. Offering your support feels good and brings you closer together. It’s a win-win.

GUIDANCE

Some choices are easier than others–like choosing between chocolate or vanilla. But some life choices are tougher to make. Your vinas can offer advice when you’re unsure of what to do. The more vinas you have in your life, the more people you’ll have to help you define your priorities, see different perspectives, and open your mind to new possibilities and opportunities! Vinas help guide you to a life you never knew was possible. Here’s to new beginnings!

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FUN 

Having vinas in your life makes everything more fun! So naturally, the more vinas you have, the more fun you’ll have! Some vinas are great to vibe at concerts with while others might prefer joining a book club, and there’s nothing wrong with that. More options!

MEMORIES

Creating memories is amazing. Creating memories with your vinas is even better! So add more vinas in your life and make some memories! These memories could make for great stories to tell the grandkids some day. 

Looking to add more vinas in your life? Click here to make those connections!

 

WARNING SIGNS OF A TOXIC PERSON

The thing about a toxic person is you’ll never see them coming. They pose as your friend, your confidant, and your trusted companion. The toxicity is not something that is on the surface level or easy to spot. It is something beneath the deepest layers of that person’s soul that targets the weakest and most trusting parts of yours. They might not show you their toxic nature right out of the gate or all at once. They can mask this side of themselves with clever lies and manipulation for years. Because of that, you might have a toxic person in your life, but you might not know it just yet.

WHAT IS A TOXIC PERSON?

  • A toxic person will make you believe that everything they have done to damage your relationship, or damage their own life, is your fault.
  • A toxic person will lie to you about the things they told you and when there’s nothing left to lie about, they’ll make something up.
  • A toxic person will come back to you every single time. It doesn’t matter how many times they leave, or how long they stay away, they will always come back for more.
  • A toxic person has nothing if there is no source to draw energy from. In order for them to convert your compassion or trust into toxicity, you have to allow them to plug into your power source.
  • A toxic person will talk poorly about everyone but you. . . to your face. Remember that.
  • A toxic person will never be wrong. Ever.
  • A toxic person has no backbone. They will please the person they are with to avoid exposure of their true colors.
  • A toxic person always has an agenda. You are mistaken if you think it’s not one that serves their own personal best interest.
  • A toxic person will make it their life’s mission to turn the whole world against you if you don’t play by their rules, so your best bet is to not play at all.

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It won’t happen like a high school movie where everything is petty and underhanded. It will happen gradually, deeply, and will go on for so long that you won’t notice it until this person is someone so important to you that you couldn’t possibly believe they would ever hurt you. A person like this is unaware of the world outside of their own needs. You need to know that it is OK to separate yourself from this kind of behavior. It is actually essential to separate yourself from this kind of behavior and set boundaries.

It’s hard to let go of people you’ve grown to love, whether it was a short relationship or someone you loved your whole life. However, what you have to realize is, it’s OK to take care of your own mental and emotional welfare. Letting people emotionally exhaust you is not taking the high road or being the bigger man. It’s an abuse of vulnerability, and it needs to be exposed. If this person is suddenly saying all the right things, apologizing, taking the blame, breaking down in tears or promising they’re going to change, promising they’re going to get help, and swearing they recognize their own toxicity, what they really recognize is that they’re losing their grip on you, and that is when you run. Letting go of the old will only make room for the new positive life you so deserve to live.

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