Friendship doesn’t just happen. Too often, we rely on fate and believing that the stars will align and what’s meant to be will find a way when it comes to finding friends. There’s a common myth that friendships bloom out of a randomly found affinity, a sense of just “getting” one another. However, all relationships require a common set of skills for them to grow and survive.

People are social animals, we thrive on connection and social interaction (yes, that’s just as true for you introverts out there!). If you’re looking for fulfilling, lasting relationships in your life, you don’t have to wait on fate.

According to Licensed Professional Counselor Suzanne Degges-White, friendships form under specific circumstances.


“The people we like to be around are those who make us feel good about who we are, what we believe, and what we enjoy doing,” says Dr. Degges-White.

Not everyone you meet will share your hobbies, world views, travel bucket list, and sense of style, but most people will share one of those things.

If you want more friends, it’s likely not that there are no potential friends around you, but that you’re not giving them a chance. Sometimes your best friends are the people you’d never have picked out based on first impressions.

Takeaway: Be open and challenge yourself to find common ground with everyone you meet. Sometimes that means being vulnerable and sharing some of your experiences and opinions. You’ll never know what common ground you have until you open yourself up to people.

Next time you’re faced with a small-talk-required event (or just want to practice and meet new people), ask about their week or if they have any big plans for the weekend. Most likely, they’ll be doing something you have some sort of connection with. Whether they’re going to a place you’ve been, seeing a movie you’ve seen, or hanging with friends at the beach, there’s likely something you can tie back to your own experience. Find the most positive (don’t forget this part!) opinion, memory, or hope (maybe you haven’t seen the movie but you want to) of the activity. Sometimes common ground is built-in (e.g. if you’re both in line for a concert or event, you probably have at least that shared interest). This is the easiest place to start when looking for new connections.


Not only do we like people who support our views and lifestyle, we want people who support us in our not-so-happy times, too.

Friendships rely on the trust and expectation that those people will be there when you really need them. Knowing you can come to your friends at your lowest for support, attention, and love is important. And it’s important that they can trust you to be there for them, too.

The problems begin to come up when the give and take becomes unbalanced and resentment can begin to build. Nobody wants to be the friend that takes and takes and takes but somehow never has the time to give back when the other person needs it, so be aware and don’t be that friend.

Takeaway: Next time a friend needs a shoulder to cry on, don’t try to make them feel understood by launching into a story about your own similar experience. When it’s about them, let it be about them. Spend some time just listening to them. Let them feel heard. The next time you’re going through a rough time, be sure to confide in them as well. Not only will this increase trust and a sense of connection for both of you, it will also give you an opportunity to take, and that’s important for keeping resentment at bay.


Most people enjoy being around people who make them feel good, so it makes sense that we like to surround ourselves with positive people.

But it goes deeper. Researchers have found that being positive creates a sense of familiarity with strangers. It makes you approachable. Friendships are based on mutual respect, understanding, and authenticity. Making people feel comfortable around you starts with showing that you’re not looking to see the worst in anything or anyone. Positivity builds trust, and trust makes room for those deeper bonding moments of vulnerability and authenticity.

Takeaway: Maybe you’re not a naturally smiley, just-here-for-a-good-time kind of person, that’s okay. That’s not what positivity is about. Positivity means catching yourself before complaining about the weather, and giving complements instead of criticisms


Social skills is a broad and somewhat ambiguous term. We all know what it means, but what are all the smaller, specific skills that fall under that umbrella term?

All in all, social skills are knowing how to interact with people, and it’s one of those things you learn by doing. So if you feel awkward approaching a new potential friend, do it anyway! It’s okay to be awkward, and the only way to move past it is to keep practicing.

Takeaway: Put yourself in social situations that are just outside your comfort zone and learn by doing. Observe, practice your self-awareness, and remember that your number one priority should be to have fun, because that’s what socializing and meeting new friends is about.

Ready to put your new friendship skills into practice? Head over to Hey! VINA today and start swiping right on your new bff! But remember – you never know who it might be, so keep an open mind.


Being thrown into a new place can be extremely scary. Think back to when you were the new vina in 2nd grade, or even when you were the newbie in the office. You don’t have much knowledge of where things are, what there is to do for fun, and chances are you may not even have anyone to grab coffee with! ☕️

Well fellow vinas, I have been there. Almost two years ago, my husband and I packed up all of our belongings in our first little home in Michigan and moved across the country to Alabama due to him receiving a promotion at work. I had to quit my job, say goodbye to all of my friends and, to top it all off, I was pregnant! So, that meant moving away from my family during a new and scary time of my life. I spent my hot, southern summer days sitting by the pool alone. After days on end of being lonely, I decided that it was time for me to branch out and make my mark in my new city.

Below are the five tips that helped me to build a support system, meet new friends and find a badass job all while being in a new city:


I decided that I was going to change my whole career while I was here, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done! I went from a suit-and-heels banker to managing pilates studios. While at work, I got to meet like-minded people and engage in interesting conversations. I also got invited to tailgate, go to mommy sales and even got invited out to lunch. Plus having an extra paycheck doesn’t hurt either.💰


Back in Michigan, I was under the impression that I had NO time to spare in my life. So my days usually consisted of work, exercise class and then sleeping. I’m not sure if it’s the southern sunshine, but I felt the urge while pregnant and working to volunteer, and I don’t regret my busy schedule for one second! Volunteering helped me to meet successful people in the community, attend upscale events, and I even met my workout buddy from volunteering. Besides meeting people, volunteering also helped to reduce my newbie anxiety by helping me to put my life into perspective. There are a lot people in the world who have larger challenges, so I knew that making roots was something that was achievable.



Hello?! Why wouldn’t you use Hey! Vina to meet new friends? The app allows you to locate other vinas in your area and event set up events. I’ve set up walks in my area and even asked another vina on a wine night. 🥂


I used to be very shy when it came to casually inviting myself into other people’s plans, but not anymore! I’m not saying to be pushy, but if you overhear people talking about going to a concert, let them know you are interested, or if someone has a cute outfit on let that vina know, because when you have common ground it’s easier to make friendshipsand friends = coffee and wine sidekicks.


Get out there, it’s a big universe! I would literally drive around different parts of the city to learn street names, restaurants and different attractions. This helped me to be able to make recommendations when I finally did get friends, so I always had the deets on all of the cool places to go. I knew the 411 on all of the hot spots for date night, and when my family and friends came to visit, I felt well adjusted and proud of my new home.

As I previously stated, being new can be hard work, but it doesn’t have to be! Use these five tips to start making roots in your new home ASAP! Home isn’t a place, it’s where your heart is.

To take a leap of faith and start meeting new vinas, download Hey! VINA on the App Store today! You’ll never know what budding friendship might be just a swipe away 👯📱


You swiped right, texted daily on the phone and are now eager to meet up and connect IRL. We’re talking vina dates here! It is a much more exciting process, subjectively speaking, to connect and make new friends, as sisterhood is so important. This should ease your nerves. But, in reality, this is still a nerve-racking moment. You are officially going to meet your vina in person. How do you go from texting to that first official date? Let this vina give you some tips!


It is always essential to pick a date spot that allows you to connect with your vina. Do not pick someplace like the movies. Similar to any romantic date, conversation is key when trying to connect with someone. Humans bond with communication. This can allow you both to open up about your lives and see if there’s chemistry there. I would suggest finding a spot like a café, or a cool lunch spot, where you can relax and open up to one another. For thinking outside the box, think about going to a paint-and-sip or a nail date. The key is to pick a place that is open and doesn’t force you to be too distracted so you can pay attention to your vina. When presenting this idea to your new potential bestie, work with each other’s schedules. By now, conversations on the phone has allowed you to learn the basics: their location, occupation, age, etc. This will ease the scheduling process to get that first date in the books.



You’re on Hey! VINA to meet new friends—and so are the other vinas. So what are you waiting for? It’s nice to send an introductory message and a few key facts about yourself and vice versa, but the fact of the matter is that friendships are made IRL. So bite the bullet and be the first one to ask your vina match out for a coffee date (or whatever your heart desires). Chances are they’ll be more than happy to; after all, that’s what they’re on there for.


Once your vina accepts, then congratulations! My only advice from then on is to be yourself. Your authentic energy is what drew them to you in the first place. Go on that friend date with an open heart and mind. No matter the outcome, as long as you were yourself, then there is nothing to worry. As stated before, it is okay to be nervous. You want people to like you. You want that same chemistry you got from them over the phone.  Quality time is so essential to establishing friendships and maintaining them. The first date with your vina shouldn’t be seen as a hurdle, but a beautiful moment you can share with someone to connect and possibly build a long-lasting connection.

To any vinas out there getting ready for their first friend sesh: Take some deep breaths. Tell yourself that this is someone you have already connected with and that the same vibe will be felt in real life. Go on that date being your best self and let things organically flow. Know that you are worthy of a healthy, positive and beautiful friendship. You are enough, and the love and care you give as a friend are enough. The most important thing? Enjoy yourself and this new person in front of you—that’s the whole reason to do it.

May we all open ourselves to new, long-lasting and beautiful friendships in the new year and beyond!

Make that first date happen! Get on the Hey! VINA app today to connect with some kickass vinas. 


The world around us is so incredibly fast-paced. You wake up to the sound of your alarm, walk down to your kitchen and drink coffee already made from your Keurig, ask your Alexa, Google or other device how the weather is and if you’ll need a coat or umbrella—living your life simply unattached to the idea that life now is so different than it was before. Just like our technology runs our small tasks like waking us up and pouring our coffee, it also runs some important aspects of life, especially our interpersonal connections and relationships with others. Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter are friendship and connection-keeping icons in our generation, but I often wonder: what kind of world do we live in that I see my friends or family member more online than in person? What kind of generation describes relationships through what’s on your mind—or with statuses and boomerang videos?

As a mother of four daughters, a wife, mental health therapist and a full time PhD student, I one day woke up to all of these technological facilitation applications and made the realization that although my friends list said 300, my phone contacts list said 10 (mostly co-workers, my parents, my husband and my sister). I have not created real connections with people for a long time—even with those filling the pages of my social media and that I’ve known for years. Could I ever call any of these people if I needed help or a friend? No, the answer was, no I couldn’t.

At that moment, I really analyzed my life and found that I was a workaholic who was missing having true friends. I wanted truly meaningful connections with ladies other than my mom, sister and daughters, and I felt sad and disappointed in myself that I fell into the social media cycle that kept me away from having these friendships. As I searched ways on how to correct this and how to even start looking for friends—do I go to a bar and pick up a girl? Didn’t sound like my brightest idea—I came up with so many random ideas but then said to myself, why not simply use the technology that we love so much for something meaningful? And that’s when I knew I needed Hey! VINA in my life.

Send A Message Campaign Gif

I had heard of this app from my sister and, once downloaded, I was head over heels with its ease of use and accessibility. I was thrilled to know that I can read profiles of other ladies like myself also looking for besties, and I can find personalities that I feel match best with mine. I am glad to say I have made three really amazing friends, and they have brought such color and life to that part of me that was basically empty before. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to meet friends.

Hey! VINA really understood what needing friends means; Making connections is all about realness and the willingness to be open. With the app’s ability to send messages and even give you tips and ideas on how to meet, it made the process so fun and enjoyable. My favorite part of the app is the quizzes—they really help tell the ladies on the app more about you, as well as have you learn more about them. So, if you’re reading this and you’re a workaholic mom like I was, or a vina just ready to make friendships that last past the pages of social media, join the world of Hey! VINA and, just like me, you’ll be glad you did.

What are you waiting for? Download Hey! VINA to get the app that gets you offline and making real connections in no time. 


I moved to Denmark with my fiancė and I’m happy we did. We met in Greenland working at Thule AB; I was a bartender and he was working on the Danish civilian side. We moved to Germany afterward, where I continued working as a bartender for the military and him doing the same work in Greenland. Making friends in Germany was easy because I made friends with my coworkers who were American, like me.

I grew up as a military brat and the one and only mission that the U.S. Military asks of the children is to make friends. There are a lot of “tips and tricks” they teach children to make friends, and schools at some of the bases offer a buddy system that assigns you a friend from the moment you land at a new base. It was important for us to have friends when we first start at a new station because we, as the children, were the focus of the home. Being able to have friends helped keep that normality of life. So growing up with all that, I was pretty confident when it came to making new friends because,

  1. I have friends, so A+ on history and experience
  2. I was taught how to make friends in a new environment
  3. Being a bartender, it’s almost natural to make friends
  4. I have been told I have a great personality (truth)
  5. I’m hilarious


With those reasons, it was in the least of my worries to make friends when we moved to Denmark. Fast forward: boy was I wrong. Having my partner gone overseas to work for long periods of time, I eventually got lonely. I didn’t have anybody to talk to and I started to want to go out and explore this new country. And it made me realize that I, in fact, didn’t know how to make new friends without help! When I was a kid, I had another person assigned to me as a friend and I was constantly submerged into a group of people. At work, making friends with your coworkers just happens without you even realizing it, especially when working at a place like a club. Now with nothing at my disposal as a stepping stone, I found it incredibly difficult to make new friends.

I never realized that the friendship culture could be different in different cultural settings and I didn’t know how to understand it. I do have one Danish friend that I met back in Greenland who I see once every three months. She lives near Copenhagen and I live in Jutland. I value my friendship with her because for one, she is a great friend and also because she gives me all these new insights on “how to’s” in social environments. However, when I looked up  “how to make friends in Denmark,” guess what came up first? That Denmark is the world’s worst country in which to make friends! I felt 100% discouraged. The search result blabbed on into my face and said that by the time Danes are in their 30’s, they are hustling in their jobs, have their families, and kind of have their friend group. Danes are not looking for short-term friendships, they’re committed to long-term relationships with deep friendship value. Great, I am too, but where do I start? How do I meet people?


One day, I thought that there had to be something in the app store. There has to be. And there it was, our favorite, the Hey! VINA app. I downloaded it immediately and I was so grateful that it was active in Europe! I was surprised that there were so many people who were in the exact same situation as me. People moving to a foreign country, far away from the comforts of home, to be with a partner, and with the problem of the constant shadow of loneliness. Not loneliness because of the absence of a partner, but loneliness because you miss doing certain things and the familiarity of a good friendship.

It’s still hard trying to make friends; I don’t have friends in my town. Yet. I don’t know when or if it’s ever going to happen. I still have my days where I’m completely discouraged, but do I still go outside and try and talk to some people? Yes! And I know from experience that, of course, it’s going to take time. Time to get to know my new country, time to learn the language, and time to get to know the friendship culture here in Denmark. And I am proud to announce that I am sooo willing to go for it!

Did you know that when you upgrade your VINA profile and become a VINA VIP, you can teleport to anywhere in the world and start meeting friends before you travel somewhere?! Or, when you arrive, you can join local communities like New in Town or Jetsetters and meet your girl gang that way🌟


Hey, vinas! If you’re like me and have a hard time starting a conversation with someone you just met, fear not! You’re totally not alone. To help break that ice (and award silence) with soon-to-be friends, check out these 10 conversation starters to put to use on your next vina date!


A hobby? Guilty pleasure? Simple passtime? This one can be anything!


Let me guess, cell phone? Same.


A must know, obvi. Whatever the answer may be, you can use this one to plan a second date at your fav cafe!


Whether it’s your fav pair of fuzzy socks, or a gold plated CK watch, we’ve all got a little accessorize in us!


Besides your native tongue, of course! French, Latin, Mandarin, Swahili…the possibilities are endless!



Think hard, vinas. We all get a little crazy sometimes!


What are you hiding form the world, you talented gal?!


Art comes in all shapes and sizes, so this could mean a lot of things for you and your vina! A painter, musician, sculptor, poet, dancer, photographer…again, endless possibilities!


Dream big, vinas! You only get one life…or something like that 😉


How about the country? The continent? Find out just how much of this big, beautiful world you and your vina have seen! And maybe even learn a little bit about foreign cultures!

Swipe on over to the Hey! VINA app and find your perfect match to get chatting with! 


A party of one is never fun. Vina plans are so exciting to put together, and equally as fun to attend! It’s a great place to make a new friend and do something fun at the same time. You meet people that already share a common interest, so you can pretty much guarantee that no one will end up staring into their latte because it’s more interesting than the conversation. But what happens when you host a VINA plan and no one shows up? This vina knows and can tell you firsthand how to make your next one a success!



You have to admit that when someone selects ‘Maybe’ to a plan that you’re hosting, you get a little flutter of hope that it’s going to turn into a yes. Truth is, people are busy and things come up, so don’t take it personally. And sometimes staying in alone and watching Netflix beats a night out with new people, and that’s perfectly okay. You are looking to plan something that will allow you to meet people on your schedule doing something you like, so if you don’t get any responses, chances are you just haven’t caught the attention of the right people yet! Don’t lose faith!


So no one RSVP’d with a yes to your last plan. Take a look at what you wanted to do, and when you were offering it. Time and place are essential when making plans with other people, especially when those people are new to your circle. Try switching it up. Instead of brunch at the crack of dawn on a Wednesday, try Friday night drinks at 6 p.m. Changing up the time, venue, or day will help expand your pool of vinas who are interested. Take a look at the location and the distance from other vinas too. Walking distance is good for big cities, while our countryside vinas will have to plan for driving time.

woman eating bruschetta

Photo by Adrienn on

Although I live 15 minutes from NYC and I would love nothing more than to visit a museum with some vinas, it’s just not feasible. I’m a single mom that has her son alternating weekends, and when I don’t have my son, I like to spend my time visiting my boyfriend. For most of us time is sacred, so sacrificing it for a new experience can be challenging. I usually have to wait for just the right time when I know I will have alone time and not be committed to someone, or something else.


The best way to host a vina plan is to attend a vina plan. Revolutionary right? Find a plan in the VINA app that you want to go to. While you’re there, network, socialize, and make friends (that’s what you’re there for). By going to a plan hosted by someone else, you are already taking the preparation portion out of making your own plan. Then as everyone is gathered together, the next idea is bound to come up! When it does, jump on the opportunity to make it your own VINA hosted plan! That way, you already have a guaranteed group of gal pals you can count on showing up!

Hosting an event is so much fun! You get to pick out where you want to go and spend it with people that want to be there too. It’s a bummer when no one else responds, but just remember, it’s not you! Soon enough, vinas will be lining up to hang with you, so get out there and meet them!

Ready to host your next big event? Download the Hey! VINA app now and get planning!


We can all pretty much agree that the Hey! VINA app is AWESOME, right?! The whole concept of meeting new friends in your area with similar interests, hobbies, family lives, etc. what’s better than that?! Just having someone to grab a glass of wine with is honestly everything.

As all strong women do, we crave a sense of community and quality relationships. But even with all the technology out there designed to help us “connect,” it’s still easier than ever to feel lonelier than ever. I mean, come on. Making new friends is hard enough without having to make the first move. Nobody wants to be the one to send the “Hey! Let’s be besties!” text.


Since I’ve joined the VINA community, I’ve found myself more open to finding those new vina connections through all of the groups and personality quizzes the platform offers. It makes it so much easier and comfortable to get out there and find your vina gang! Check out these 5 tricks to get more swipes and find that gang even faster!


I know this sounds insanely cheesy, and maybe a bit obvious, but it makes a big difference! Your profile picture is the first thing potential besties will see, so you want to make sure it’s unapologetically you. And of course, a good smile never hurts. It brightens up your face, radiates positivity, and everyone loves a friendly face! I would also recommend a pic of you doing something you love; hiking, sipping on coffee, or just chilling in your living room with a glass of wine. Other vinas love seeing someone they can relate to, and are more likely to swipe right on someone they feel is a fellow soul sista!


Yes, the whole thing! Besides the basics like your name and birthday, you have the option to expand the radius of vinas that can see your profile, and that you can connect with. Giving yourself and extra 25 miles will add a whole new group of vinas to your possibility pool! Beyond that, choose your age range, and describe yourself in 5 emojis, who doesn’t love that?! The more you fill out your profile, the more vinas you’ll attract, which equals the best friend jackpot!


Everyone is using this app to meet friends, so you can leave that part out. Tell us about your love of dancing to Ariana Grande in your bath robe, how you collect Golden Girls memorabilia, or how you whip up big Sunday dinners with the whole fam every weekend. Those are the things that make you unique and help your profile stand out, so be as specific as possible. You are an original, tell the world about what makes you special!


This is a space where you can let people know what you like to do, who you are interested in hanging out with, what activities you’re most likely to be found doing, or what new groups you wanna explore. This allows other vinas to relate to you on multiple levels, and get to know a little more about your interests that weren’t included in your “about me” rant.


This option does cost money, but so does that Starbucks pumpkin spice latte you just bought, and having unlimited access to a community of women to make connections with and relate to is worth way more. VINA VIP allows you to get instant matches from your “hey list” so that you can get dittos faster. You can undo your skips in case you want a second look, or your interests and hobbies change, and you have the ability to use the teleport option to change your location to anywhere in the world and meet vinas outside of your local area too! Plus, you get all kinds of new badass features. It’s totally worth the buy!

What are you waiting for?! Download the Hey! VINA app now and start swiping!✌️


Meeting new friends can be scary. When it comes time to meet your new vina offline, it’s normal to feel anxious about real-life conversation topics. Conversations can take some time to get into a flow before getting off the ground, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. To get you started, here are some questions to try on your next vina date! 

What are you looking forward to this week?

What’s the most beautiful place you’ve been to?

What personal passion project are you working on right now?

What was the last book you read that you really loved?

If you could teach a university course on any subject you want, what would it be?


What’s your favorite piece of technology that you own?

Which T.V. show are you binge watching right now?

What’s the signature dish that you cook?

What was your first job? Did you like it?

What are you freakishly good at?

Ready to get to know some vinas near you? Download Hey! VINA today and start swiping! Your future bestie is out there waiting for you.✌️


Thanksgiving is for spending time with friends. If you’re inviting your vina to a Thanksgiving dinner hosted by someone else, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, you should obtain permission from the host. Call your host, and ask if you can bring your new friend. If your host is less than welcoming to your guest, then you shouldn’t invite them to that party. Instead, you could host your own!

Now, I know what you’re thinking; that is a lot of work! Well, it doesn’t have to be. First things first, what kind of an event will your new vina like best? There are a couple options that I’ll lay out below: a formal dessert and beverage get together, a laid back Turkey Day dinner, and a leftover smorgasbord complete with family are a few options.


This works best for a new vina that you want to get to know better or for a group of new friends who don’t know each other yet. The best way to invite your vina to this party is with a cool invite. Zazzle has some super cute paper invites. Mail your invite to your vina or hand it to her when you go on a Vina date. If you give it to her in person, tell her that you are hoping to have a fun Thanksgiving event, and you are going for a glamorous and fun vibe!

Have lots of pie on hand, all your Thanksgiving favorites should be there. If your family has an unusual favorite, have that too. My family is obsessed with Mincemeat. Also, make sure you have plenty of vanilla ice cream and whipped cream to go with your goodies!


Serve your pie with fantastic coffee, and if you and your friends drink, a mulled wine or other fall cocktails are a great option! You can be as simple or as sophisticated as you would like with this part of the evening.

Decorate with candles, maize, and miniature pumpkins.


Tell your vina that you are having dinner by yourself or with a small group of friends for Thanksgiving. Ask her to come by sending her the date/time/address via email or text.

Pinterest has a host of recipes that are easy to prep and cook. For Friendsgiving last year, I made a turkey breast with gravy recipe in a crockpot. Green beans can be roasted in the oven, and mashed potatoes can be made ahead of time (or even made instant!). Whole pies can be picked up from bakeries or the frozen food aisle. Remember, this is fun! Don’t stress too much.


This one is the easiest to manage. After Thanksgiving dinner with the fam, call your vina and tell her that you can’t wait to compare family holiday sagas. Ask her if she was sent home with mountains of leftovers and if she would like to do a middle-school-style food swap. Tell her you’ll provide drinks (again, whatever you and your vina enjoy), and you can both provide dessert! The more pie, the better.

Then, eat, drink, and be merry while gossiping about all your family drama. Tell your new bestie all about how your dad keeps asking you when you’ll get a promotion, your mom wants to hear about your bae, and your crazy cousins keep bringing up all the embarrassing stuff you posted on Facebook circa 2008. Nothing sparks a new friendship like good old fashioned family drama!

Happy Turkey Day, vinas!

Want to host your own vina-giving? Of course you do!! Download the Hey! VINA app and create an open plan in your area now!