WHY BEING A NEW MOM CAN BE LONELY–AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

Being a mom has been one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles that I have played in my 30 years of life thus far. Learning how to balance your own needs, your spouse’s needs, a career, and the needs of a new baby can oftentimes feel overwhelming and leave you feeling mighty lonely even though you are constantly surrounded by others.

I can relate to these feelings because I have lived through the lonely feelings, and I still have those moments where being a new mom can feel like an island.

The feelings started during my maternity leave and after my husband’s paternity leave was over, and the reality sunk in that I would be alone with this little human for over eight hours. Thoughts like “when will my spouse/partner be home from work?”, “what would the baby and I do together?”, “if he gets sick what happens?”, and “he’s napping, and I need some adult conversation…but all of my friends are at work” ran through my mind like a loud church bell. Take all of those thoughts and then add Postpartum Depression and you get one hell of a sad and lonely mixture.

But my fellow vina moms, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it doesn’t involve having to wait until your child is in college to feel like a part of the human race again.

Here are the top 3 things that I did to kick new mom loneliness to the curb.

LOCATE A COMMUNITY OF MOMS WHO ARE POSITIVE, NON-JUDGMENTAL, AND WHO LIKE TO SEEK “ADVENTURE”

This was possibly the best way that kicked loneliness to the curb! I decided that there is strength in numbers, and that surely if I felt this way, that other new moms did as well. Locating a tribe that fits your personality can take some trial and error, but when you find that core group of moms, you will have found a diamond hidden in all of the coal. They can relate to the late nights, early mornings, the feeling of wanting adult conversation, and are learning to navigate this whole Mom life right alongside you. Some great places to search for these groups are Hey! VINA (of course!), Meetup, your local church, MOPs groups, mom based exercise classes, or even Facebook groups. These groups have given me support and motivation when I need it the most.

GET INVOLVED IN YOUR COMMUNITY

I know some of you are rolling your eyes at this suggestion. I’m a mom who is an entrepreneur, so I know how busy we can all get, but getting to learn more about my community has helped me to not only volunteer for a cause that I believe in, but has helped me to meet others and find events and activities to make me feel like I am a part of something bigger. When looking for volunteer opportunities, try to find an organization that will let you be flexible and bring your baby. The organization that I chose let me bring my son, and it not only exposed me to a whole new group of people but helped to make his world larger as well.

TRY VIEWING THIS LONELY TIME AS A CHANCE FOR SELF-DISCOVERY

There are going to be times in our lives when we don’t have the opportunity to hang out with our friends, and volunteering may not be an option. So, I found peace in changing my mindset. I started to shift my thinking from “I’m lonely” to thinking “what can I learn today about myself?” This thought process has helped me to become more confident in finding the things in life that I am passionate about. It led me to start journaling my feelings, reading more positive material, and helped me to become more comfortable with being “lonely.”

Moms are strong, there’s no debating that, but there are times that we need to feel a little more “seen.” If you are lonely right now, don’t get discouraged! Start by taking these three baby steps to feel connected and watch your world start to take a beautiful and fulfilled shape.

For more ways to meet awesome vina moms, be sure check out Hey! VINA!

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO DONATE YOUR EGGS: EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WONDERED

Honestly, I have thought about it. I thought about the money aspect (mostly to recover myself from my student loans), but something always held me back. Maybe it was going through a process that I knew so little about or the fear that I was giving away a part of myself that I wouldn’t necessarily get back again. Already being an emotional female and dealing with even more hormonal emotions, could I handle it? Is it painful? Will it be anonymous? Could I back out last minute?

If you can relate to some of these questions, let’s take a journey through the egg donation process and get answers to the questions we’ve wondered about.

FIRST THING’S FIRST: WHAT IS EGG DONATION?

There may be vinas out there who never heard of the term. Personally speaking, I don’t remember learning about this subject while attending school. Of course, I learned about reproduction, but the teachings were never in depth with topics like infertility amongst many trialing issues that could arise. I was researching job postings on Craigslist and came across, “Egg Donors in Demand!! Earn Thousands of $$$ While Helping Others!” The large sum of money interested me right away. At the age of 18, with my parents talking finances: college loans, loan interests, getting a job, saving money, and moving out. As you can expect, I wanted to make money fast so I began educating myself about egg donation.

DEFINING IT CORRECTLY

According to the London Egg Bank, egg donation is “a form of fertility treatment in which a donor anonymously gives her eggs to an infertile patient in order to help her become a parent. Once donated, the eggs are fertilized with the recipient partner’s sperm (or donor sperm if required) as in conventional IVF, and then transferred to the recipient for pregnancy. Egg donation, therefore, unlike adoption, means that the recipient couple still has a strong genetic link with the child.”

WHO NEEDS AN EGG DONOR?

Some women may be infertile, pre-menopausal, had a history of pregnancy failure or hold a risk of transmitting a genetic disease to the child. Gay couples are also considered when thinking of people who seek out egg donors.

WHO QUALIFIES?

Before applying and creating a profile for consideration, make sure you meet the following requirements:
• Age Requirements: 21 to 29 years old (there are some areas that accept 18-32 based on your health and maturity)
• Healthy, with a healthy family history – Does breast cancer run in your family? How is your mental health? Do you make health and wellness a priority in your life?
• Well educated
• Mature and prepared to help a couple have a child – you must be reliable and responsible
• Non-smoker/No drug use

THE PROCESS

If you meet the criteria, you can then move forward in the medical screening process! You will need to meet with a Fertility Specialist who will perform a pelvic ultrasound scan of your womb and ovaries and set you up for a medical screening (HIV, hepatitis) along with a genetic screening (inherited diseases). The specialist will also go over your concerns, discuss your availability (which you are being compensated for), and your ultrasound findings. Your availability is very important as you will be needed to visit your primary doctor at least once a week for the first few weeks to make sure your medical injections are doing well.

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MEDICAL CONCERNS

Once you are given the green light, you will then be required to visit a Fertility Center counselor. If depression, have ADHD, or schizophrenia runs in your family, chances are your eggs can inherit those mental disorders too. Your mental health is important during this process. Women can cling to their eggs, the thought of one of your eggs growing to become an adult and then the injected hormones can make it much more difficult to deal with. It is vital to be honest with your counselor before backing out last minute.

THE WAITING. . .

Once you submit your profile it can take weeks, months, possibly longer for your profile to be chosen but if you’re serious about it, stick it out- the right family will come eventually!

LEGAL TERMS

After your profile is chosen (congrats!) you will then meet with a Reproduction Attorney who will draft and review contracts and the agreement to be anonymous between both parties. For first-time donors, compensation is usually $6,000 to $6,500 and will increase about $1,000 for every time you successfully donate.

MEDICAL CYLCE BEGINS

Even though this entire process can be a 3-4 month ordeal for first time donors, the medical cycle only lasts 10-12 days, if all goes well. For 10 days, you will be administrating hormonal injections in your thighs or stomach. There is a chance if you are prone to PMS you may feel mild side effects during this time which may include allergic sensitivity, breast tenderness, abdominal bloating, headaches and/or mood swings. You may even gain a few pounds, which will only be a temporary weight gain as it is during your usual menstrual cycle. The Egg Retrieval procedure itself is only 30-45 minutes long. You may woozy after undergoing anesthesia, but the anti-pain and anti-nausea meds the clinic gives you before/during the procedure should help. You also may feel bloated which is completely normal and expected after the procedure.

RECOVERY

This is important—allow yourself a good week or two to heal after this process. Drink plenty of fluids, eat well and acknowledge the emotions and the things that may change in your body. But no matter what, remind yourself that you did a wonderful thing to help a family accomplish a goal of their dreams.

Ladies, we applaud you!

Need some vinas to talk to about donating your eggs? Start swiping today!

 

 

SINGLE MOMS, UNITE! HOW TO BUILD YOUR TRIBE

I love watching T.V. shows that depict a group of moms who are best friends. Their kids play together and always just happen to be in the same class. Meals are made and carpools are organized effortlessly, as if everyone is on a synchronized schedule. Their houses may range from immaculate to disastrous, but that’s the only thing defining their differences. I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. How do these moms make friends?

I recently thought to myself how I have no friends who are single moms. As a mom of two boys, ages 6 and 18, I want a vina that understands what the tears are about when my son graduates high school next year. I want her to feel my happiness as I watch my child become an independent first-grader. So how does a mama find her tribe?

DOWNLOAD HEY! VINA

The easiest way to find other vina moms is to download the Hey! VINA app. You can join a community (how many you want!) like Stay-at-Home Moms, Working Moms, or New Mom  and you can be matched with other vinas in the same category you chose. Then, just swipe right for a vina that you want to connect with!

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GET OUT THERE

You have interests and hobbies, so share them! Get out there and find a group of vinas that you can participate in your interests with. Chances are, there will be a few that are fellow vina mamas themselves looking to chat. Exchange numbers so that you can make plans. The key here is to follow through! It’s easy to say “let’s keep in touch,” but harder to commit to it. Call or text them and make plans for a coffee meet date. If it’s hard to do because you have kids, bring them along! Kids are natural at making friends, so let them play while you two vina mamas get to know each other.

DON’T PASS JUDGMENT

There’s a lot of pressure on women, especially the modern mama, to portray a certain image or picture of what a mom or woman should be. Remember all moms go through ups and downs and face the same stigmas. The vina mama in faded yoga pants is no different than the one wearing a nicely ironed pantsuit (but how did she find the time to iron it?!).

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

Building a relationship takes time. Being patient and getting to know someone is a slow process, but very rewarding. Having someone to talk to about your daily highs and lows is exciting. If one way doesn’t work, try another. There is a best vina out there for everyone — mamas included.

Start finding your new vina today! 

TEACH GIRLS BRAVERY, NOT PERFECTION

As parents, we are mindful of what we say to—and in front of—our children. This is especially true when it comes to what we say in order to encourage and empower our children. I try to be extra mindful when I tell my 6-year-old daughter that she is beautiful. I never forget to mention that she is also smart, brave, and wonderful.

Kids notice everything. They are attentive to the skinny models in the magazines and while there’s nothing wrong with being skinny, I don’t want my beautiful, biracial daughter to think that is the only thing she should strive to be. I want her to see unique and curvy women like Ashley Graham and Tess Holliday. I want her to see women who are confident in their bodies and love each one of their imperfections. We must to teach our daughters that kind of self-love, too.

 

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These six years of my daughter’s life have given me the most amazing opportunities to encourage her when she is scared, support her when she feels as though she is not capable of something, and make sure her own self-doubt does not stop her from achieving anything. I tell her all the time, “you can do anything and you can be anything you want to be.”

A TED Talk that I recently saw perfectly ties into the way I raise my daughter. The talk was by Reshma Saujani, who is the founder of Girls Who Code. In her talk titled, Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection, she explained what that meant exactly.

She began her talk by sharing her experience of running for Congress when she was just 33 years old. “It was the first time in my entire life that I had done something that was truly brave, where I didn’t worry about being perfect,” she said. Being taught to be perfect her whole life, she was not equip with the bravery that the men around her had. 

“WE’RE RAISING OUR GIRLS TO BE PERFECT AND WE’RE RAISING OUR BOYS TO BE BRAVE.”

“An HP report found that men will apply for a job if they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications, but women, women will apply only if they meet 100 percent of the qualifications.”

I can admit that I have done that too, in regards to applying for jobs. I will only apply to something that I know I’m 100% qualified for. I feel like if I don’t meet all the needs, then I shouldn’t apply. Maybe I, too, can take something from this talk for myself. 🤔

Remember I said earlier she created the Girls Who Code program? Here is a story that she has from that program. 

“We immediately see in our program our girls’ fear of not getting it right, of not being perfect. Every Girls Who Code teacher tells me the same story. During the first week, when the girls are learning how to code, a student will call her over and she’ll say, “I don’t know what code to write.” The teacher will look at her screen, and she’ll see a blank text editor. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think that her student spent the past 20 minutes just staring at the screen. But if she presses undo a few times, she’ll see that her student wrote code and then deleted it. She tried, she came close, but she didn’t get it exactly right. Instead of showing the progress that she made, she’d rather show nothing at all. Perfection or bust.”

That’s saddening. 😢 Below is even worse.

“My friend Lev Brie, who is a professor at the University of Columbia and teaches intro to Java tells me about his office hours with computer science students. When the guys are struggling with an assignment, they’ll come in and they’ll say, “Professor, there’s something wrong with my code.” The girls will come in and say, “Professor, there’s something wrong with me.””

 These last few quotes have me like, Yasss Queen! 🙌

“When we teach girls to be brave and we have a supportive network cheering them on, they will build incredible things, and I see this every day.”

“We have to socialize our girls to be comfortable with imperfection, and we’ve got to do it now. We cannot wait for them to learn how to be brave like I did when I was 33 years old.”

“…and we have to show them that they will be loved and accepted not for being perfect but for being courageous.”

After the talk, she gave an interview where she shared this:

“…it’s crazy to me to think about the fact that right now, 85 percent of all consumer purchases are made by women. Women use social media at a rate of 600 percent more than men. We own the internet, and we should be building the companies of tomorrow. And I think when companies have diverse teams, and they have incredible women that are part of their engineering teams, they build awesome things, and we see it every day.”

Can we get a hell yeah, vinas?! If you want to watch the whole TED Talk, (which I highly encourage you to!), click here.

Are you a mom looking to make new friends in the area? Join our mom community and start swiping here!

YOUR FRIEND JUST HAD A BABY: NOW WHAT?

“You’re so cute,” I cooed, while looking at the tiny 3-month-old in front me. As it was kicking around and snuggling up next to me, I thought, I want one just like it!

But, it was a puppy. Definitely not a baby. If you attempt to put a baby in my arms, I’ll vomit before the child does. Potentially from either nerves or pure disgust that this tiny thing has yet again shit itself and the smell has wafted from the confine of diaper layers strapped around its lower half.

No, I don’t like children and I don’t really have to. Even if it’s my best friend’s baby, it will still be hard for me to like it as much as others do. My nurturing side completely goes out the window when it comes to kids. They smell, they vomit, they cry, they keep you up at night, and you are constantly worrying if they are going to hit their head on something or ingest a random item from the floor. And, most of all, they’ve taken my friend away from me because of this whole “good parenting” notion. Makes sense, but still.

I was beginning to accept how most of my friends were coupling up and heading towards marriage (or were already married), until one friend went a step too far and procreated.

I heard for months (nine approximately) about this alien concept where my friend would push a creature out of her vagina and feel immediate joy, and now she’s gone ahead and done it without considering those around her – me, specifically. How will I survive with one less drinking buddy messaging me the next day seeing if I’m just as hungover as them?

Supposedly my wide hips were meant to help bear a child, but instead, I use them to barge into people who won’t get up on the train seat next to me when I try to sidle out. Let’s be real – who doesn’t?

What’s worse is that I’m pressured to express as much joy about a tiny human as other people do. Otherwise, there’s something wrong with me. How could a female not want to have kids or even talk about kids? No doubt I’ve been inundated with baby news, baby photos and baby names. And guess what, I just don’t care at all about any of that. Truth is, I probably talk about shit that most people don’t care about either.

On another note, if your friends are the type that draw eyebrows on their babies and scare them in those funny videos you see online, then I’m all for a friend having a kid! Nothing wrong with some entertainment, am I right?

But, usually this isn’t the case. I’ll have to endure hours of endless discussions centered around a child, their ailments and their achievements (which would not be a regular achievement in adult life). Parents soon become consumed in story-time books, gender specific toys and everything in between.

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For these reasons, my friend and I have been growing apart – and it’s normal. We’ve always had different interpretations on how our lives would turn out and now they’re coming to fruition. I can’t bring myself to pretend that I like listening to baby talk or conversations centered around small clothing a child will outgrow in a week because honestly, I don’t want to pretend at this point.

I imagine it’s especially hard to be bombarded by images of babies on various social media platforms when you can’t have kids or have had a miscarriage or have postpartum depression. Or seeing the countless stock-happy photos of parents and children, without seeing all the hard work and stress behind closed doors. In a way, it only emphasises the pressure placed on women to be perfect, joyful mothers.

Every day I’m told inadvertently – or by not at all subtle relatives – that my goals in life should include having children. If I do not, then what am I good for? Yes, having a child is a wonderful, natural and amazing experience, but for those who want a baby. I can’t stop my friends from having children and I wouldn’t want to if it brings them happiness, but where has that left me?

I’ve acknowledged that people grow apart, move away, and have different goals. That is a part of life. It’s hard to embrace the vast changes that occur between friends who have known each other for a long time, but despite my obvious differences that I have with my friends who have children, I try to remember this is what some people actually strive towards in life, and even though my goals are different, it does not make theirs less important. And if one day I change my mind about babies and want to have one myself,  that’s okay too. Who knows, I might even like parenting, and not to mention kids, as much as my friends do.

If you’re looking for like-minded friends to talk (or not talk about kids) get the Hey! VINA app now!

5 FAMILY-FRIENDLY VINA DATES

If you’re on Hey! VINA (and if you’re not—what are you waiting for?!), you know that there’s already a thriving Working Moms and Stay at Home Moms communities. Next time you start texting with your new mama friends, why not plan a vina date…for the entire family?

Here are some ideas to get you started!

VISIT A MUSEUM

I know, I know, you may be rolling your eyes, but hear me out! First of all, it’s hot outside, so let’s play indoors! Many museums will have exhibits or play areas tailored to kids which will keep your littles occupied (and engaged) while you and your vina can chat. Museums are especially great if you’re worried about running out of things to talk about (been there!). You’ll be literally surrounded by topics if you feel the conversation lagging. Some museums even have their own cafés that will carry coffee, snacks, light meals, and beer and wine!

HIT UP AN ARCADE

Confession: this option is totally inspired by Stranger Things. Live up the nostalgia and let the littles go hog-wild at Dance Dance Revolution or Pacman. Get a little competitive and see who can win the most tickets or score the most points.

TRY AN INDOOR ACTIVITY

Challenge yourself and your littles to try something new (or revisit an old favorite). Whether you choose to slip on some super stylish bowling shoes, or strap-on some skates, your kiddos will be entertained and active.

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VISIT YOUR LOCAL WATERING HOLE

No, I don’t mean take your kids to a bar. I mean an actual–natural or man-made–body of water. Pack a picnic, SPF, and water shoes, and bond in the great outdoors! Kids can splish splash while moms have a splash of rosé. This option is not only kid-friendly, but budget-friendly as well.

THINK FREE

Check out your area’s list of events. Maybe you want to stroll through the local farmer’s market and sample the goods while the kids check out the petting zoo. Maybe you can to swing by the Strawberry Festival and leave with a bushel of berries and a new friend (2nd vina date: make strawberry pies?). Whether it’s a tractor-pull or a summer concert series, check out what is going on in your area and you’ll find some unique and family-friendly events!

You have all the ideas, now find a vina to go with!

A THANK YOU LETTER TO MOMS EVERYWHERE

Mom:

It seems too simple to just say, thank you, as if those words might somehow cover the ground in which they come from. How do I thank you for the many millions of different things you have done for me?

I want start by saying thank you for bringing me into this life, for creating a home for me within your body, and for sacrificing in ways I cannot yet understand your own person to make me so. I quite literally owe you my life.

I think at a younger age I might not have fully understood that you were anything other than my mother, because that role, that part of you, seemed to take up so much space and it was for so long the only way I knew you. But, as I have become my own person I have been able to see that before I arrived you had an entire life, and heartache, and happiness, and late nights, and shitty jobs, and half furnished apartments, and lovers, and a million other things I cannot point to– thank you for sharing your life with me.london-scout-27290.jpg

You have shaped me in every way and the best parts of me are you. Your lessons have seeped into me and made me the kind of person I am today, and I owe you everything for this. You are infused into everything I do from the way I make a sandwich to how carefully weigh my decisions. I cannot even begin to dissect how much of me has been made in your likeness. I would not be the same person without your sensibility, your style, your love of music and thoughts on the world.

I know I was not always an easy person to be near, and there were those teenage years in which I am sure you sometimes did not recognize me. As much as I want to thank you, I fear I have just as much to apologize for, but we are both only human. Thank you for sticking it out with me.

I know being my mother is only one of the many things you have been in this life, but I hope you know it has been the most vital to mine. Thank you seems too thin a word, so please take this rest of these to back it up. I love you, and Happy Mother’s Day.

Sincerely,

Me

Share this with your mom and tell her just how much you love her!

MOTHER’S DAY GIFTS FOR EVERY TYPE OF MOM

Mother’s Day is right around the corner.  This means it’s time to show our mom’s some affection whether we’re spending time with them, sending them a phone call or buying them a fun gift.  But what do you buy for the women who helped mold us into the Vina’s that we are today? Here are some awesome gift ideas for all of the mom’s everywhere!

FOR THE FOODIE MOM

Taking your mom out to her favorite restaurant is always a great time. You could even hit up that new brunch spot you saw the other day.  But why not take your moms love of food and mix it with her love of bonding time with you? Grab a reservation to a cooking class that the both of you can enjoy! Learn how to make a new food and maybe find a new hobby for the both of you.

FOR THE FITSPO MOM

It’s so important to stay active!  If you have an active mom who likes to walk, run, bike or just work it out then grab her a new fitness tracker.  The Fitbit or Apple Watch are perfect to pair up with your mom and can be completely customizable to someones unique style and activity habits.  You can totally up that gift by throwing in a yoga class for two and namaste together.

FOR THE TECH MOM

Selfie time!  Grab your mom some new accessories including an attachable camera lens that fits right on your phones camera.  Not only will you take crazy quality photos, but you can make them fun by using a mini fish eye lens.  Family pictures just got ten times better.

FOR THE NATURE MOM

Build your own indoor terrariums.  This is another awesome gift that you two can make together.  All you need is a fun planter or glass terrarium case, and some cute succulents.  Put in some dirt and arrange your plants however you like.  You can even add some flowers, stones and crystals.  Not only do they look crazy awesome when they’re done, but what’s more unique than a “living” gift?

FOR THE SENTIMENTAL MOM

Keep it classic this mother’s day.  Two of my favorite go-to gifts are always a hit with my mom whose favorite present is me!  Get your mother an updated family photo in a killer frame for her to show off to all of her friends.  You could even do a reenactment of a photo you had from when you were a kid to make it fun.  And you can always make a heartfelt card.  Nothing says “I love you” like a cute note in a handmade card.

What are you getting/making your mother for Mother’s Day? Let us know in the comments down below! 

(Feature image via Carissa Gallo)

5 APPS EVERY BUSY MOM NEEDS IN THEIR ARSENAL

Being a mom is serious business! Moms are notorious for putting themselves last on the to-do list. Luckily for us, we have amazing technology to help us out with that. If you’re a mom with a tribe that keeps you busy busting your butt, then you’ll love these apps.

PLANOLY

Having a flawless and aesthetically beautiful Instagram feed can be a lot of work. Not only is the Planoly app easy on the eyes, it’s the perfect tool for planning and scheduling a cohesive Instagram feed that your followers are sure to drool over.  Life gets crazy sometimes and whether you’re planning visual content for your business or just sharing the intimate moments of your family, this app will make posting consistently a bit easier for you.

AUDIBLE

When was the last time you sat in a quiet room and indulged in your favorite book? Been a while? Don’t worry Audible has your back! I’m big on taking control over my time and getting stuff done, but that can be challenging when you have an energetic toddler piggy backing most of the time. Reading (or listening) while cleaning the house, doing laundry or even working are super easy with this app. There are also tons of family friendly titles you can listen to with your kiddos.

LIFE360

Keeping up with your busy family can be exhausting. Or better yet, keeping up with multiple devices–a total nightmare. If you’re anything like me and need to know the who, what and where of your tribe at all times, then this app is for you, too. Get automatic notifications of where your family is and even if their battery is getting low!

YOUTUBE KIDS

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via YouTube Kids

Binge-watching on YouTube has pretty much rubbed off on my little one. If you’re tired of your feed being filled with superheroes and action figures, then vina, you need some YouTube Kids in your life! This app is kid safe, colorful, educational and fun. Go ahead and let your little one be curious, learn and binge on!

HEY! VINA

Connecting with other moms has been essential to my parental survival. Even if you’re not a first time mom, trading stories with other parents can be affirming and opens you up to experiences or resources you may not know about. Go ahead, get out of the house and treat yourself to some mom to mom interaction! Hey! VINA was designed for women to create meaningful connections with each other. My first connection was a mom meet-up with a local vina in my community park. This also is a great way to socialize your kiddos and have fun at the same time.

What apps do you have in your Mobile Mom Arsenal? Share below!

(featured photo via @Alexander Drummer | Unsplash )

THE ESSENTIAL TYPES OF FRIENDS YOU NEED WHEN YOU’RE A MOM

As a mother, I’ve found that it’s easy to get sucked into the bubble that is my home and family, especially since I’m already quite introverted to begin with. But for my own well-being, I need to make sure I leave that bubble sometimes, and having friends who can understand “mom life” (even if they aren’t parents themselves) has been so important.

If you’re a mom as well, there are few types of friends who you should absolutely hang on to -they will make your life and your responsibilities as a mom so much easier and more pleasant!

THE EXPERIENCED MOM FRIEND 

Sure, there are a lot of people out there willing to give you parenting advice, but when you find that one friend who can generously share their knowledge with you in a way that isn’t condescending and that considers situational differences, that’s a friend you’ll want to hang on to. She has been through it all, and she genuinely cares about helping you, as opposed to coming across as World’s Best Mom.

THE NEW MOM FRIEND

Just like how teachers can often learn a thing or two from the students they teach, you can learn a thing or two from a friend who has more recently become a parent. Parenting philosophies, methodologies, and even technology is dynamic and ever-changing, and a newer mom who has been doing her research might have some new tips, tricks, or ideas to offer that were not around when you were a newer mom yourself, even if your kids are just a few years apart.

THE NON-PARENT FRIEND

Sometimes you need to cast off your “mom” hat and spend some time getting in touch with the non-mommy side of yourself. When you need to spend an evening with grown-ups and not pulling Cheeto crumbs out of your hair, call your friend who isn’t a parent. She is someone who can definitely understand that it’s perfectly fine and not selfish to nurture the parts of you outside of parenting life, but she will also make sure that you don’t go overboard a la Bad Moms.

Who are your essential friends, as a parent? Let us know in the comments!

(Featured image via Pixabay)