WHY BEING A NEW MOM CAN BE LONELY–AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

Being a mom has been one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles that I have played in my 30 years of life thus far. Learning how to balance your own needs, your spouse’s needs, a career, and the needs of a new baby can oftentimes feel overwhelming and leave you feeling mighty lonely even though you are constantly surrounded by others.

I can relate to these feelings because I have lived through the lonely feelings, and I still have those moments where being a new mom can feel like an island.

The feelings started during my maternity leave and after my husband’s paternity leave was over, and the reality sunk in that I would be alone with this little human for over eight hours. Thoughts like “when will my spouse/partner be home from work?”, “what would the baby and I do together?”, “if he gets sick what happens?”, and “he’s napping, and I need some adult conversation…but all of my friends are at work” ran through my mind like a loud church bell. Take all of those thoughts and then add Postpartum Depression and you get one hell of a sad and lonely mixture.

But my fellow vina moms, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it doesn’t involve having to wait until your child is in college to feel like a part of the human race again.

Here are the top 3 things that I did to kick new mom loneliness to the curb.

LOCATE A COMMUNITY OF MOMS WHO ARE POSITIVE, NON-JUDGMENTAL, AND WHO LIKE TO SEEK “ADVENTURE”

This was possibly the best way that kicked loneliness to the curb! I decided that there is strength in numbers, and that surely if I felt this way, that other new moms did as well. Locating a tribe that fits your personality can take some trial and error, but when you find that core group of moms, you will have found a diamond hidden in all of the coal. They can relate to the late nights, early mornings, the feeling of wanting adult conversation, and are learning to navigate this whole Mom life right alongside you. Some great places to search for these groups are Hey! VINA (of course!), Meetup, your local church, MOPs groups, mom based exercise classes, or even Facebook groups. These groups have given me support and motivation when I need it the most.

GET INVOLVED IN YOUR COMMUNITY

I know some of you are rolling your eyes at this suggestion. I’m a mom who is an entrepreneur, so I know how busy we can all get, but getting to learn more about my community has helped me to not only volunteer for a cause that I believe in, but has helped me to meet others and find events and activities to make me feel like I am a part of something bigger. When looking for volunteer opportunities, try to find an organization that will let you be flexible and bring your baby. The organization that I chose let me bring my son, and it not only exposed me to a whole new group of people but helped to make his world larger as well.

TRY VIEWING THIS LONELY TIME AS A CHANCE FOR SELF-DISCOVERY

There are going to be times in our lives when we don’t have the opportunity to hang out with our friends, and volunteering may not be an option. So, I found peace in changing my mindset. I started to shift my thinking from “I’m lonely” to thinking “what can I learn today about myself?” This thought process has helped me to become more confident in finding the things in life that I am passionate about. It led me to start journaling my feelings, reading more positive material, and helped me to become more comfortable with being “lonely.”

Moms are strong, there’s no debating that, but there are times that we need to feel a little more “seen.” If you are lonely right now, don’t get discouraged! Start by taking these three baby steps to feel connected and watch your world start to take a beautiful and fulfilled shape.

For more ways to meet awesome vina moms, be sure check out Hey! VINA!

HOW TO STAY ON TASK WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO

Accept life as it is, in it’s naturalness, and live it in its totality.

Osho

I’ve often begun tasks or set goals with impressive enthusiasm only to end up losing motivation and never finishing. What are we supposed to do when we lose interest in finishing something we once deemed fulfilling or important? Trying new things or learning new skills unfolds the same way that life does. It is extremely unpredictable. However, we can learn to accept the journey in its naturalness. Here are some tips and motivation that keep me pushing and trying new things. 

LOSING MOTIVATION + THE FEAR OF NOT ACCOMPLISHING GOALS

It is quite normal for anyone to lose motivation after they begin any task. Fear may also come creeping in, in the midst of achieving a goal or a task. Fear can be tamed by assessing the inner dialogue that one has with themselves. When I have too many negative thoughts intruding or interrupting my progress of achieving a goal, I set aside time in my daily schedule to tackle the thoughts. I normally write down my negative thoughts in a journal and find ways to change the negative thoughts into something more positive. To get back my motivation, I normally take my mind off the goal I am trying to achieve and focus on a hobby or something that I enjoy doing. Doing something that I love sort of gives me the energy and mindset to work towards my goals. I always keep in mind that I have a balance between goals and hobbies. I try my best not overwork myself, as this may create a lot of strain and stress. Finding new hobbies can also be very helpful in putting myself out there, and, who knows? I may meet new people in the process. 

FORGOTTEN DREAMS: REMEMBER WHY YOU STARTED

When you lose the motivation to achieve a goal or a task at hand, it may be easy to forget why you started in the first place. Getting to achieve a goal has its ups and downs, and it’s quite realistic to bear in mind that there will be challenges along the way. I normally speak to people I know, who understand how significant achieving that goal is whenever I find it difficult to remember that. It could be useful to ruminate on and evaluate how far I’ve come since I initially started working towards achieving that goal, so that I am constantly motivated and am fueled to continue working towards my goal(s).

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SET AND BREAK DOWN GOALS INTO SMALLER CHUNKS

In order for you to achieve a goal, you might need to break it down into smaller chunks. When I had issues meeting new people and putting myself out there, I broke down the goal into more manageable chunks. I used to struggle with crippling anxiety, and I worked on my anxiety in order for me to approach people. I practiced my social skills at random events. Despite how awkward I was when speaking to strangers, I still managed to learn from all the mistakes I made in the past and make progress from that. Putting oneself out there not only accounts for meeting people at social events, but even talking to strangers! You would be surprised at how that can boost your confidence. Today, I know how to articulate myself well with confidence, because I chose to learn from my mistakes and not let that stop me from growing. Mistakes are part of the process. I couldn’t get things right from the get-go, but when I fell, I got back up again. I am a human being, and mistakes are there to help teach and help me grow.

WORKING WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE SIMILAR GOALS

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Working with people who have similar goals has kept me on the right track. Surrounding myself with people who are accomplishing what I want to accomplish will provide constant motivation and inspiration.

Social media applications are a great way to meet new people with similar interests. Apps like Hey! VINA have helped me meet a whole lot of amazing friends. Speaking to people online made me feel less anxious about talking to them in person, too.

REWARD YOURSELF

I thought it would be a good idea to reward myself every time I made progress in reaching my goal. I am not extrinsically motivated, but sometimes I reward myself with goodies or presents. I’m more intrinsically motivated, so it would be best to look at how achieving the goal adds to my personal values.

TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH

I always try to keep in mind that I should not compromise who I am for the sake of achieving a goal, meeting new people, or, even more so, putting myself out there. So I say: jump and take a leap of faith whilst trusting the process!

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy. Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

Dale Carnegie

Sending love, light, joy and angel blessings your way. Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind!

And of course, you can always practice putting yourself out there by chatting up a new vina on Hey! VINA today!✨👯

VINA DATES ON A BUDGET

How many times have you and your vinas decided that there was nothing to do, simply because you couldn’t think of anything within your budget? Well, think again ladies. Here’s a list of 20 things you can do with your vinas on a budget, organized by cost.

FREE-ish

(Depending on where you live, you may need to consider bus or gas costs, which will bump up the cost!)

OPEN MIC NIGHT

Skip the alcohol (which we all know can be pricey), and just enjoy the moment!

SUNDAY MARKET

Go for some great photos and to meet your local makers, (if you can resist buying everything).

SWEAT IT OUT

Gym memberships usually have an option to let you bring a friend for free. Or go for a hike!

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DISCOVER SOME MAGIC

Visit your local crystal/gemstone shop for some free positive vibes.

GAZE AT THE STARS

Grab your vinas and a box of wine, and lay out underneath the stars.

HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT

Your vinas can all take turns hyping each other up as you each pose for the camera.

MAKE A TIME CAPSULE

This one’s pretty self-explanatory!

OLD IS NEW AGAIN

Be a tourist in your own city. See everything with a fresh, curious perspective!

“CHEAP” DATES: $5 – $10

GO ON AN ICE CREAM DATE

So simple, but so rewarding.

OR, GO ON A COFFEE DATE

Like ice cream, but with coffee.

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HOST A POTLUCK PARTY

Each vina can bring a homemade dish.

HAVE AN OLD-FASHIONED SLEEPOVER

Complete with cheesy Drew Barrymore movies, makeovers and popcorn. Also a great time to bring other those homemade dishes and have a potluck.

EXPLORE A CORN MAZE

If your city has one of these (and it’s open), you’re in luck. Corn mazes are packed with fun for a low entry cost.

ENGAGE IN A BAKE-OFF

Having a (friendly) baking competition between you and your Vina’s.

“MODERATELY-PRICED” DATES: $10 – $20 

RIDE BIKES

It’ll only be pricey if you have to rent a bike. My city has bike rentals for $15 for 3 hrs.

BEACH DAY

This is one can be pricey, but can be kept low if your vinas all pitch in.

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GO BOWLING

Simple, cheap, and amazing cafeteria food to indulge in? It’s the perfect guilty pleasure vina date night.

DRIVE – IN

If it’s open in your city, make it a goal to drive up there with your vinas for some old-fashioned fun.

The prices may be cheap, but the quality of memories made will be anything but.

Have an idea for a VINA date, or want to get one of these ideas started? Download the Hey! VINA app and find your tribe. 

IMPRESS YOUR VINAS WITH THESE COCKTAIL-MAKING TIPS

Vina: bold, intelligent, badass. She’s the life of the party. She can mix a drink.

To help bring out that life-of-the-party vina that’s inside of you, I’ve compiled a tried-and-true list of cocktail-making tips so you can be that girl wherever you’ll be celebrating next.

Before I started following these five simple steps, not even my most beautiful glasses, stainless steel shakers, or a phone full of Pinterest recipes could save my drinks from coming out too strong, too sour, too much like juice, or too much like toxic waste. These tricks have helped me become more creative behind the bar and have given me a better understanding of how much alcohol each drink needs, all while keeping things simple, sweet, and cheap.


1. LESS IS MORE WHEN IT COMES TO INGREDIENTS

A good cocktail doesn’t need to be complicated. Many of the best cocktails have three or fewer ingredients. The important thing to know is what mixes well with what. Here are two of my favorite simple drinks that have less than three ingredients:

The Paloma: 1/4 cup of tequila, 1/4 cup grapefruit soda (like Fresca or Jarritos), served on the rocks with a lime wedge. Add a salted rim to feel like a real pro.

The Bellini: 2 ounces chilled fruit purée (traditionally peach), 3 ounces prosecco. Usually served in a champagne flute, start with the fruit puree on the bottom, then pour the prosecco over the top. Feel free to add a fragrant garnish to up your bar cred.

These and other gorgeous two-ingredient cocktails can be found at http://www.mydomaine.com/two-ingredient-cocktails

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WHEN IN DOUBT, STICK TO THE CLASSICS

Who’s ever turned down a whiskey and Coke or vodka and soda? These drinks are well known for a reason and are simple to make. The best part about their simplicity is that it makes them easy to customize and dress up. Put your own original spin on any of the classics with fresh herbs, splashes of fruit juice, or even a simple lime or lemon to impress your vinas.

GET CREATIVE WITH FRESH FRUIT AND KOMBUCHA

When you’re drinking, you ’re probably not drinking for the health benefits (unless you’re one of those red-wine-with-dinner people). Still, it’s nice to mix up a fun drink that ’s light on guilt sometimes. Fresh fruit, kombucha, and even Perrier can make awesome additions to classic drinks. (HINT: The Real Food Dietitians suggest replacing the ginger beer in the classic Moscow Mule with kombucha and adding fresh ginger, mint, and cucumbers.)

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CHEAT SHEETS ARE A VINA’S BEST FRIEND

Now that you have the inspiration, it ’s time to get technical. You don’t want to make your drinks too strong or watered down. To ensure that you pour just right every time, check out this amazing cheat sheet that explains the use of “parts” in drink recipes. You can always print it out and keep in your kitchen so you ’re ready for your next soirée.

USE THE TOOLS AVAILABLE

There are so many amazing resources where you can find easy drink recipes. Use them! There’s no shame in borrowing a few tips and tools from the pros. Here are two personal favorites:

Now that you know the tricks of the trade, I fully expect to see you giving back to the Vina community by hosting a meet and greet cocktail party with your new matches!

Find some new vinas to invite to your next cocktail party by downloading Hey! VINA on the App Store today! You’re new best friend could be just a swipe away! 👯📱

SURE-FIRE WAYS TO START BUILDING ROOTS IN A NEW CITY

Being thrown into a new place can be extremely scary. Think back to when you were the new vina in 2nd grade, or even when you were the newbie in the office. You don’t have much knowledge of where things are, what there is to do for fun, and chances are you may not even have anyone to grab coffee with! ☕️

Well fellow vinas, I have been there. Almost two years ago, my husband and I packed up all of our belongings in our first little home in Michigan and moved across the country to Alabama due to him receiving a promotion at work. I had to quit my job, say goodbye to all of my friends and, to top it all off, I was pregnant! So, that meant moving away from my family during a new and scary time of my life. I spent my hot, southern summer days sitting by the pool alone. After days on end of being lonely, I decided that it was time for me to branch out and make my mark in my new city.

Below are the five tips that helped me to build a support system, meet new friends and find a badass job all while being in a new city:

GET A JOB

I decided that I was going to change my whole career while I was here, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done! I went from a suit-and-heels banker to managing pilates studios. While at work, I got to meet like-minded people and engage in interesting conversations. I also got invited to tailgate, go to mommy sales and even got invited out to lunch. Plus having an extra paycheck doesn’t hurt either.💰

VOLUNTEER

Back in Michigan, I was under the impression that I had NO time to spare in my life. So my days usually consisted of work, exercise class and then sleeping. I’m not sure if it’s the southern sunshine, but I felt the urge while pregnant and working to volunteer, and I don’t regret my busy schedule for one second! Volunteering helped me to meet successful people in the community, attend upscale events, and I even met my workout buddy from volunteering. Besides meeting people, volunteering also helped to reduce my newbie anxiety by helping me to put my life into perspective. There are a lot people in the world who have larger challenges, so I knew that making roots was something that was achievable.

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SET UP VINA DATES

Hello?! Why wouldn’t you use Hey! Vina to meet new friends? The app allows you to locate other vinas in your area and event set up events. I’ve set up walks in my area and even asked another vina on a wine night. 🥂

DON’T BE AFRAID TO JUMP IN

I used to be very shy when it came to casually inviting myself into other people’s plans, but not anymore! I’m not saying to be pushy, but if you overhear people talking about going to a concert, let them know you are interested, or if someone has a cute outfit on let that vina know, because when you have common ground it’s easier to make friendshipsand friends = coffee and wine sidekicks.

EXPLORE

Get out there, it’s a big universe! I would literally drive around different parts of the city to learn street names, restaurants and different attractions. This helped me to be able to make recommendations when I finally did get friends, so I always had the deets on all of the cool places to go. I knew the 411 on all of the hot spots for date night, and when my family and friends came to visit, I felt well adjusted and proud of my new home.

As I previously stated, being new can be hard work, but it doesn’t have to be! Use these five tips to start making roots in your new home ASAP! Home isn’t a place, it’s where your heart is.

To take a leap of faith and start meeting new vinas, download Hey! VINA on the App Store today! You’ll never know what budding friendship might be just a swipe away 👯📱

HOW TO START OVER AFTER A BREAKUP

Life after a failed relationship isn’t easy: you are bound to reinvent yourself, to re-adapt into a world that is no longer made for two. Truth is, there is no single formula on how to start over again, just as there is no single formula on how to build a routine and stick to it.

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Back to relationships: every background is different. Do you share the same group of friends or workplace with your ex? Are you close to each other families? Did you end up in “good terms?” Does it still hurt to call him “ex?” Whether you are the one who made the final decision or not, you must rebuild your life. You are on your own now (think of it as liberated!), and you have to fill the holes left by him (or her) with other people and new interests. You might be still in a dark place. You might think that there is nothing good enough to replace him, or you even might think that without him you are not as special.

But here is a fact: you are still the same person. Seriously! That funny, active, creative, extraordinary human being that you are is still right here, but only more wise, more mature, and you now know better what is best for you.

I won’t call them rules, but here are some hints that will help you focus on what is important while recovering from a breakup:

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TAKE THE CHANCE TO START ANEW. Breaking up with someone can be a wake-up call on how we are guiding our lives. Perhaps after you broke up, you realized how much you prioritized your ex. Perhaps there was nothing else that you considered meaningful and of your own. I encourage you to take a moment and think. You are free to take on any project you want. Who do you want to be? In which direction do you want your life to go?

RECAP WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Wait, are you one of those gals that stopped being a gal when in a ferocious relationship with this guy? We get it; it happens. This new relationship absorbed so much from you that you stopped seeing most of your friends. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons your relationship didn’t work either, as you put all your emotional needs on a single person. Now, you find yourself back and don’t know how to approach your old friends… Truth? Well, don’t worry, if they are truly good friends, they’ll understand. Explain your situation to them, be kind and do not demand instant complicity: things will not be the same from one day to the other, so don’t rush it and give it time. Also, don’t do it again when the new perfect guy shows up.

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MAKE NEW FRIENDS. Look at your mobile apps. Do you see this cute white logo, the one that says “Hey!”? That’s your new best friend. Trust me. Before you get into another affair of the soul your broken heart is not ready for yet (think: app with red flame logo), realize this is the time to meet new people. Be bold and take the chance to meet up with vinas. New lifestyles and activities will bring you to places and environments that are safe. Go to places that don’t have strong associations with your ex. Build new memories.

REBOUNDS HELP (SOMETIMES).  Having a rebound is fun and it can be healthy as it makes you come out of your cave; put some makeup on, and see the light of the day ( or the light of the club). It can be very exciting, but hey–it can also be disappointing. It isn’t gonna feel as exciting or fulfilling as when you were in love. Still, if you want, take the chance of experiencing something new and fresh where there are no resentments, lies or disappointments. It is just a blank page you can start writing whatever you want to write. Be careful though! Protect yourself!

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DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU. If sometimes you feel like being alone, watching a sad film and letting your tears come out, do it. Sometimes, you just have to let the emotions out. The sooner you cry out everything you have to cry, the sooner a smile will come up your face. If you feel like partying, do it. Perhaps you feel like being active and exercising nonstop. That’s really good, too. The important thing is that you feel complete and treat yourself. Just look that you do all of it with the right balance.

CONTACT/NO CONTACT Ah, this is complicated. It really depends on every breakup. Sometimes your ex is still your best friend and will help you go through the adaptation to your new situation. But most of the times, it is just better that you do your own thing for a while. You probably won’t want to know when your ex meets a new girl or has an amazing trip planned for the summer. If this person was toxic for you or you realize that even after breaking up you are still too dependent on him, don’t doubt on trying stronger measures: temporarily unfollow from social networks and delete him from your phone contacts. These can seem extreme but will give you the space you really need. When you’re feeling down, call your favorite vina and talk it out with her.

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PATIENCE. Breakups are messy and very emotional. It’s going to take some time to feel less vulnerable and more stable. Perhaps you think you are making massive progress (and, in truth, you are!), but then your ex shows up unexpectedly at a party and that affects you more than you wished. Maybe you break apart. It’s important to know: That is okay. It will be okay. Real change is slow. The good news? You have come a long way and the next day, you are gonna be stronger than ever.

So plan something fun with your friends. Be kind to yourself. And remember you will heal and find someone deserving of all you have to offer.

Looking for new vinas to help you through your heartache? Start swiping now.

Feature image @citroenzx.tumblr.com

HOW TO MAKE YOUR COVEN STRONGER

You’ve heard the quote, “Are you a good witch or are you a bad witch?” Well, chances are if you’re a part of VINA, you just have to be a good witch. . . and an even better vina! What better way to celebrate your vina sisterhood this season than to make your coven stronger with these five simple, witchy steps!🔮🎃

SAGE & WINE PARTY

Witchy women are all about protecting themselves from negative energies, burning their incense and creating the most perfect sacred space to practice their self-love rituals within. Maybe your vina is going through a hard time or a bad break-up—why not come to their rescue with a basket full of tricks (a bundle a sage) and treats (a bottle of wine)! Sage is an herb known for eliminating the negative energies in our surroundings while making room for new, positive energy. While you can smudge your space, it’s also beneficial to smudge yourself! Give your aura a quick wipe down with your sage wand to clear off any sticky energy that might be clinging to you. Sage-ing is a perfect witchy tool for our vinas who want to cleanse their lives and start anew. Bonus: It’ll uplift your spirits too (along with the help of your chalice of wine, of course!)

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LEAVE THE CATTY BEHAVIOR TO BLACK CATS

Within this divine feminine empowerment age of women, there is no room for being petty with one another. Stay loyal to your vinas—motivate, support and celebrate each other’s unique way! That is what being a vina is all about.

SPELL CASTING 101

Grab your magical vinas, candles, notebooks and pens and head somewhere serene to set your intentions out into the universe. Under the new moon this month, it’s a great time to reflect on what your current desires are. Have your vinas create a circle, make a list of your goals and when finished, hold hands and one by one, say out loud what you each hope to manifest into your lives!

LOOK INTO CRYSTALS

Spiritually, crystals are believed to give off energies and vibrations that resonate with different things. There are crystals that can help ease anxiety, strengthen your love-life, heighten your intuition or third eye, etc. all depending on the properties of each stone. Here are a few crystals for strengthening your sisterhood:

  • Looking to expand your social circle, rebuild or deepen your relationships? The lovely green selenite stone is great for communication, mental clarity and soulful connections!
  • Sometimes it’s hard to find new friends when we’re not totally comfortable with ourselves. Rose quartz is the perfect stone for recognizing your own beauty, talents and happiness while also opening your heart chakra to your fellow vinas! It’s a win-win.
  • Have you ever found yourself holding a grudge on a friend? We’ve all been there one way or another. Practice forgiveness with the topaz stone, which helps protect you from negative energy, but also opens you to empathy and having compassion for others.

GET YOUR CAULDRONS HOT

So we set our magical intentions under the new moon, now it’s time to check in with one another for a dinner under the stars. And it’s perfect timing—because the full moon is on Oct. 24th! It’s all about feeling whole and one with the moon as our desires come to fruition. Autumn is the perfect season for big pots of soups or stews. Head to your local farmer’s market for plenty of herbs to add (a witch necessity) and get cooking! Enjoy your October, vina-sisters!

Ready to meet new vinas to celebrate October with? Click here to start swiping!

THE POWER OF OPENING YOURSELF UP TO UNCONVENTIONAL EXPERIENCES

“What kind of a girly, hippie event is this?”

That was my first thought when I opened a flyer that I received from an Instagram influencer I had just met two weeks earlier. The flyer was a private invitation to experience Goddestry (Goddess Artistry) and promised a night of creative visioning, acts of self-care and sacred sisterhood. My eyes stopped on words such as “tribal markers,” “therapeutic grade essential oils,” “vegan hair care,” and “share circle.” I was intrigued. I had been going through a rough patch and had slowly closed myself up from the world. Knowing that it wasn’t healthy, I decided to try new things and say ‘yes’ more often. So, I accepted.

Upon arriving at the secret location, I was guided into a circle of flowers and within a few minutes, one host had drawn art on my body with tribal markers while the other saged my body to clear any negative energy. I then joined four other women in a circle around a centerpiece of different healing crystals, scented candles and statues of goddesses. It was clear none of us knew what to expect and as we started discussing what brought us here we realized we had more in common than we thought. Once the ice was broken we started the first exercise: pairing up and looking into each other’s eyes for three minutes.

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The first minute was slightly uncomfortable but then I felt a shift. I fell deep into her soul and suddenly I could just feel everything she had been through. The pain. The sadness. The moments of joy. I felt connected to her with every atom of my being. She must have felt the same because tears started streaming down her cheeks. It’s unbelievable how much we can learn about a person by not just looking but really seeing them.

We then got back in a group to discuss self-care. How do you take care of yourself, both physically and mentally? Are you a giver or are you a receiver? Most women are givers which is a beautiful act of love. We do it so naturally but it is important that the love is returned, that we get taken care of too.

Our next exercise did exactly that. We paired up again, this time as giver and receiver. The giver massaged the receiver’s head and arms before washing her hair. In certain cultures, the cleansing of hair has a religious and symbolic meaning. In the glow of the candles and the rhythm of the meditation music, my maternal side came out and I found a certain peace in brushing her hair. There were muffled tears, signs of deep appreciation and as I, in turn, became the receiver, I realized how beautiful the kindness of strangers could be. I left the event with a new perspective and new friends.

As we grow older, we find ourselves settling into a certain orbit. And as much as the stability comforts us, it becomes harder and harder to  come across events that are extraordinary, that make our hearts pound in a faster beat. So does making new friends. Being open to new experiences is a great way to break that orbit and meet new people. So take a chance. Feel once again, the thrill of meeting new people. For some of life’s best experiences come from something unexpected.

Are you ready to take the plunge? Get the Hey! VINA app and open yourself up to new friendships!

READ THIS BEFORE STARTING YOUR SIDE HUSTLE

So, you want to earn some extra spending cash, build up your savings account or pay down debt or maybe your current job isn’t paying enough to make ends meet. . . well, it happens to the best of us. Whatever the reason may be for considering getting a second job, there are many options available to you. But before you do, make sure you know the do’s and don’ts to getting a second job.

FLEXIBILITY

Is your current job flexible or do you need your second job to be flexible to work around your primary? If the latter, you need to make that clear when you are applying to new jobs. If your main job is flexible, then you want to give them as much notice as you can in terms of what schedule changes you may need. Be up front with both your current job and potential employers about your other commitments. This will keep everything much easier to manage!

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WORK DURING THE HOLIDAYS

Let’s say you just want to earn extra cash for the holiday season that is coming up–fair enough! The perk of this is that many of these seasonal jobs are already part-time and some are even willing to work around your schedule. (They tend to get desperate during the busy season!) If this is something you’re looking for, check the online listings using keywords like ‘temporary jobs’ and ‘holiday listings’ to find jobs around you.

DON’T OVERWORK YOURSELF

Disclaimer: Don’t sign up for something that you don’t think you can handle! It is not worth it to work two full-time jobs if your body can’t handle that type of stress or if your calendar is not that available. Understand that the lack of rest will catch up with you and it may damage your current job and other aspects of your life. If you need weekends only, then be sure to make that clear to your employer. If you need nights only, make that clear, too. Don’t try to be superwoman here, vinas.

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

Rather than applying for the typical job at a restaurant or retail store, why not look into some of the other options that are available. There are ride-sharing jobs, grocery-shopper jobs, even dog walker jobs! All of these are very flexible and allow you to work by your own schedule. Do some research and will be sure to find a great job that fits right into your busy schedule!

Whatever you choose to do, make an informed decision based off of what works best for you. Research it, ask your friends and social circle if they have side gigs and if they like them, and find the right job for you. Be prepared for this new lifestyle, even if just temporarily and make some money moves, vina!

Looking for vinas to side hustle with you? Get the Hey! VINA app today and find working girls to hustle with!

HOW TO PUT THE BEST IN BEST FRIEND

Despite the saying, “friends come and go but family is forever,” there’s a reason BFF is short for best friend forever, not best family forever. Think of it like this–everyone has a soulmate, right? Well, that doesn’t just stop at significant others, spouses and partners. We all have people out there that are so close to our hearts and souls that they’re permanently a part of us. We all have them and they usually come in the form of best friends–the forever kind.

These friends are the ones we’d do anything for, our “ride-or-dies.” As best friends, we want more than anything for them to be happy, and whatever we can do to make that happen is one of our major priorities. Here are some ways to put the “best” in best friend and be the best vina you can be.

TRUTH ABOVE ALL

Everyone lies. Our parents, our family, our friends, strangers, everyone. Without a doubt, we’ve all lied to the ones we love, but it’s important that we adhere to the truth as much as we can in all situations. If we can’t be true to the ones we love then we are, in a sense, saying they aren’t worth it (and they definitely are). They love us no matter what, no conditions and no exceptions; lying isn’t needed and it isn’t worth it. We can fake it until we make it all we want to the amalgam of strangers that surround us, but for the ones we love we should bare all and trust that they will be there through thick and thin.

BE THEIR LIGHT IN THE DARK

Our best friends are the ones we rely on the most, besides our family and our significant others (maybe even more than those). We expect them as our best friends to pick us up when everything else is pushing us down. They’re our light in the dark, like a lighthouse calling us home from the abyss of the sea. If we expect anything from them we have to give just as much. Being a best friend is more than just knowing all of each other’s grossest habits and having inside jokes; it’s about supporting each other in the of ups and downs of life.

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ACCEPTANCE WITHOUT CONDITION

Empathy and compassion are what make us human, and we lend them most to those closest to us. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days (sorry, not sorry for the Hannah Montana reference) and a best friend takes it all, the good and the bad, no matter what. We all have character flaws and they don’t only impact us; they can spread to our loved ones and affect them negatively. However, as William Faulkner wisely proposed, we don’t only love because, we also love despite. Those who love us most will love us despite our flaws. A best friend will always understand and always forgive. Sometimes we feel the need to judge others and project our sense of right and wrong onto them, but friendship doesn’t thrive when we try to control and change the other. If we accept the ones we love for their entire selves and forgive them no matter how screwed up things get, we inspire a love that will last a lifetime and forever after.

The most important thing to remember is that a relationship takes effort on both parts. It won’t always be easy, but if everything were easy, it wouldn’t be worth it. Finding your best friend and keeping them close is one of the most important things a person can do. Friends make life worth living and they’re more than worth the effort it takes to be the best friend you could be, day in and day out.

Find your best friend forever on Hey! VINA today! Download it, join communities and start swiping and meeting!