We’ve all been distracted by our phones when a friend is talking. We’ve run late to a coffee date, canceled plans at the last minute, or turned the focus of a conversation to ourselves (even if it’s unintentional). These things are slowly destroying our friendships and we’re the only ones who can fix them. But how?

PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY

Look, we’re all guilty of this. I know some of you might not remember what we did before we all had smartphones, but I do–I had to wait until I got home to get my messages. (I know you just gasped in horror, but it’s true, I promise!) Your messages can wait. Focus on the friend in front of you. It’ll strengthen your bond and show her you care more about what she’s saying than the text you just received.

DON’T BE LATE

If you’re going to be late (because we all know shit happens), just call your friend and let them know ahead of time. Give your friend the courtesy by giving them the heads up you’re running behind. It’s not a huge deal if you’re up front about it, but when you just show up late to your plans, it’s not only disrespectful, it’s also rude. It sends the message that you don’t value their time, which hurts your friendship.

FOLLOW THROUGH

If you tell someone you’re coming to their party, show up. Don’t flake out of plans you’ve made constantly–that’s the quickest way not to be invited again. Even if you show up to a party you don’t really want to attend, making an appearance when you’ve been invited is important.

MINIMIZE THE ‘ME’ TALK

During conversations, it’s easy to begin talking about yourself without even realizing it. To fix this, you simply have to pay attention to what you are saying. When you start to talk about yourself more than a topic, it’s a problem. Instead of turning the focus to you, try to ask questions that steer the conversation in a different direction. That shows your interest in learning more about what the other person has to say.

What are your friendship flaws? Share them with us below. Recognizing these flaws will help us address them and make us better friends in the long run!