Being a mom has been one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles that I have played in my 30 years of life thus far. Learning how to balance your own needs, your spouse’s needs, a career, and the needs of a new baby can oftentimes feel overwhelming and leave you feeling mighty lonely even though you are constantly surrounded by others.

I can relate to these feelings because I have lived through the lonely feelings, and I still have those moments where being a new mom can feel like an island.

The feelings started during my maternity leave and after my husband’s paternity leave was over, and the reality sunk in that I would be alone with this little human for over eight hours. Thoughts like “when will my spouse/partner be home from work?”, “what would the baby and I do together?”, “if he gets sick what happens?”, and “he’s napping, and I need some adult conversation…but all of my friends are at work” ran through my mind like a loud church bell. Take all of those thoughts and then add Postpartum Depression and you get one hell of a sad and lonely mixture.

But my fellow vina moms, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it doesn’t involve having to wait until your child is in college to feel like a part of the human race again.

Here are the top 3 things that I did to kick new mom loneliness to the curb.


This was possibly the best way that kicked loneliness to the curb! I decided that there is strength in numbers, and that surely if I felt this way, that other new moms did as well. Locating a tribe that fits your personality can take some trial and error, but when you find that core group of moms, you will have found a diamond hidden in all of the coal. They can relate to the late nights, early mornings, the feeling of wanting adult conversation, and are learning to navigate this whole Mom life right alongside you. Some great places to search for these groups are Hey! VINA (of course!), Meetup, your local church, MOPs groups, mom based exercise classes, or even Facebook groups. These groups have given me support and motivation when I need it the most.


I know some of you are rolling your eyes at this suggestion. I’m a mom who is an entrepreneur, so I know how busy we can all get, but getting to learn more about my community has helped me to not only volunteer for a cause that I believe in, but has helped me to meet others and find events and activities to make me feel like I am a part of something bigger. When looking for volunteer opportunities, try to find an organization that will let you be flexible and bring your baby. The organization that I chose let me bring my son, and it not only exposed me to a whole new group of people but helped to make his world larger as well.


There are going to be times in our lives when we don’t have the opportunity to hang out with our friends, and volunteering may not be an option. So, I found peace in changing my mindset. I started to shift my thinking from “I’m lonely” to thinking “what can I learn today about myself?” This thought process has helped me to become more confident in finding the things in life that I am passionate about. It led me to start journaling my feelings, reading more positive material, and helped me to become more comfortable with being “lonely.”

Moms are strong, there’s no debating that, but there are times that we need to feel a little more “seen.” If you are lonely right now, don’t get discouraged! Start by taking these three baby steps to feel connected and watch your world start to take a beautiful and fulfilled shape.

For more ways to meet awesome vina moms, be sure check out Hey! VINA!


Let’s be honest, being an adult can suck sometimes. The bills, the responsibilities, the assumed maturity (that you don’t necessarily have nailed down yet), the expectations, and, oh, did I forget to mention the bills?! What happened to the days of only having to worry about a homework assignment, or who kissed who behind the bleachers, or “when is homecoming again?” There are times when all I want to do is forget my name and play Nintendo all day (I know, I totally just dated myself).

But there are times when it’s completely amazing as well! Like being in your own space, with your own things, and having whatever you want in the refrigerator! If I want to live on Cheetos for the rest of my life, I can! You can’t beat watching a friend marry the love of their life, but it’s not something you get to see much when you’re 16.

Good, bad or frustrating, growing up is unavoidable. Some still pretend to be teenagers – I won’t name names to protect the guilty – but we all change with the seasons and move forward (even if only chronologically). We all have our own toolkit to help us navigate these changes, but there are a few things that every adult should be doing:


Our entire day is filled with talking, explaining, sharing, interacting and presenting. The act of being quiet not only helps us reset our minds but also allows us to be introspective. Emotional intelligence is highly underrated, and being in a quiet space develops and cultivates your inner voice.


Granted, we’re all poor when we graduate, but learning to be responsible with the little you have now will help you build habits when you get that first fat paycheck! Financial health follows you your entire career and retirement thereafter, so it’s important to pay attention early.


Do you remember what you wanted to be at age 5? A veterinarian? A doctor? A lawyer? I wanted to be an Egyptologist! Super random, I know, but somewhere along the way life took over and that dream faded. I’m still curious about the way ancients lived, but working in finance, the two worlds don’t really collide. So instead, I’m following that passion by traveling as much as I possibly can.

Don’t let adult responsibilities be your excuse for losing sight of that joy. Find an alternative way to tap into the kid that used to jump out of trees (maybe that was just me) or treat all your sick stuffed animals with Band-Aids and wraps.


Healthy is the new sexy. We’re not all supermodels, and what’s healthy for me isn’t necessarily healthy for you, but we all know what healthy FEELS like. I don’t care if you think you’re “slim-thick,” “rail-thin,” somewhere in between, or no definition applies (I actually prefer to avoid categorical self-identifiers. We’re all beautiful!), being healthy is mandatory. As women, we often take care of others before taking care of ourselves. Ladies, put yourself first and take care of you. We can’t be there for our families and friends if we’re in the hospital or worse. Me Time is REAL!!

And last, but certainly not least:


This is across the board! Not just at work, in friendships or in relationships. We are beautiful, strong women and deserve to be treated as such. Knowing who you are and what you contribute is an invaluable feeling that holds so much weight. When you know your worth, you won’t tolerate being treated as anything less. Self-esteem is a huge issue for many teenaged and adult women who don’t know their worth. Remember who you are and how wonderful you are. Never let anyone smother that fire that you have.

It can be rough being an adult, and there are days when we’d all like to be back on the playground. But to be honest, there’s a reason I blocked out high school, and no amount of money could EVER make me go back there. So for now, I’ll take being able to travel whenever I want to (in accordance with my work calendar that is), come home to a quiet house with my Cheetos and enjoy staying out past curfew! Something tells me that you feel the same.

If you’re looking for some new vinas to conquer adulting (and brunching) with, start swiping on Hey! VINA today!


Being thrown into a new place can be extremely scary. Think back to when you were the new vina in 2nd grade, or even when you were the newbie in the office. You don’t have much knowledge of where things are, what there is to do for fun, and chances are you may not even have anyone to grab coffee with! ☕️

Well fellow vinas, I have been there. Almost two years ago, my husband and I packed up all of our belongings in our first little home in Michigan and moved across the country to Alabama due to him receiving a promotion at work. I had to quit my job, say goodbye to all of my friends and, to top it all off, I was pregnant! So, that meant moving away from my family during a new and scary time of my life. I spent my hot, southern summer days sitting by the pool alone. After days on end of being lonely, I decided that it was time for me to branch out and make my mark in my new city.

Below are the five tips that helped me to build a support system, meet new friends and find a badass job all while being in a new city:


I decided that I was going to change my whole career while I was here, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done! I went from a suit-and-heels banker to managing pilates studios. While at work, I got to meet like-minded people and engage in interesting conversations. I also got invited to tailgate, go to mommy sales and even got invited out to lunch. Plus having an extra paycheck doesn’t hurt either.💰


Back in Michigan, I was under the impression that I had NO time to spare in my life. So my days usually consisted of work, exercise class and then sleeping. I’m not sure if it’s the southern sunshine, but I felt the urge while pregnant and working to volunteer, and I don’t regret my busy schedule for one second! Volunteering helped me to meet successful people in the community, attend upscale events, and I even met my workout buddy from volunteering. Besides meeting people, volunteering also helped to reduce my newbie anxiety by helping me to put my life into perspective. There are a lot people in the world who have larger challenges, so I knew that making roots was something that was achievable.



Hello?! Why wouldn’t you use Hey! Vina to meet new friends? The app allows you to locate other vinas in your area and event set up events. I’ve set up walks in my area and even asked another vina on a wine night. 🥂


I used to be very shy when it came to casually inviting myself into other people’s plans, but not anymore! I’m not saying to be pushy, but if you overhear people talking about going to a concert, let them know you are interested, or if someone has a cute outfit on let that vina know, because when you have common ground it’s easier to make friendshipsand friends = coffee and wine sidekicks.


Get out there, it’s a big universe! I would literally drive around different parts of the city to learn street names, restaurants and different attractions. This helped me to be able to make recommendations when I finally did get friends, so I always had the deets on all of the cool places to go. I knew the 411 on all of the hot spots for date night, and when my family and friends came to visit, I felt well adjusted and proud of my new home.

As I previously stated, being new can be hard work, but it doesn’t have to be! Use these five tips to start making roots in your new home ASAP! Home isn’t a place, it’s where your heart is.

To take a leap of faith and start meeting new vinas, download Hey! VINA on the App Store today! You’ll never know what budding friendship might be just a swipe away 👯📱


It goes without saying that making choices is part of what it means to be an adult. Some of them are relatively simple, like narrowing down dinner options or deciding what to wear to work on the day of a big meeting. Then, there are the more complicated decisions that affect others and can invoke feelings of selfishness and guilt, like whether you should leave your current job where you’re needed and respected for another where there’s more opportunity for growth. Or, say you’re a skilled engineer — do you spend your time fixing your friends’ iPhones, or decline so you can spend time doing more meaningful work that also advances your career? Of course, each decision is a personal one, but a new study from Ohio State University suggests there’s a mindset you can adopt that will help you make decisions that maximize benefits for you and others — big picture thinking — without the guilt associated with selfishness.

One key to maximizing benefits for everyone, according to the study’s lead author Paul Stillman, PhD, is accepting the fact that sometimes the best decision will benefit you the most. He added, “The most efficient decision is the one that is going to maximize the total pie. Sometimes it makes the most sense to seem a bit selfish if that is going to maximize overall benefits.”


In the study, researchers assigned 106 students one of two distinct frames of mind: the first, a “big picture” (what psychologists call “high construal” thinking) mindset; the second, an immediate, present-day mindset. One experiment asked students to make anonymous decisions about how to split up money between themselves and four others with the goal of maximizing benefits. Ultimately, “maximizing benefits” meant something different to each of the participants — half of them understood the phrase as making decisions that favor others, while the other half understood it as making decisions that favor themselves. The results revealed that those with a “big picture” mindset almost always made choices that maximized total value for the group, whether or not the choice was most helpful to them. Meaning, they were cool with decisions that seemed selfish, so long as they felt the decision maximized benefits for the group. Three other experiments confirmed these results, though using slightly different scenarios.

While the results are intriguing, I found myself wondering how I could actually implement big picture thinking — especially since I often find myself focused on immediate outcomes. So I got in touch with Stillman to see what he’d recommend for someone like me. First off, he suggested taking a “metaphorical step back”, which is another way of saying put distance between yourself and whatever it is you’re considering, like imagining you’re a fly on the wall watching yourself. When you remove yourself from the situation and observe as an outsider, you’re more likely to make the smart choice — the one that serves you and others. Next, he says, you should imagine you’re helping someone else make the decision, rather than yourself. This advice resonated with me and in my experience, has been a tried and true method for making smart choices. Would I urge a loved one to make this decision? Yes? Decision made!

Alexandra Hayes is the Social Media Editor at Thrive GlobalThis article was originally published on Thrive Global.

Best decision you can make? Download Hey! VINA and meet more vinas.


You made it, my fellow vinas. After living in the dorms and enduring countless nights in the library feeling completely sleep-deprived, you finally made it out alive and graduated from college! Your parents were crying at the ceremony and you celebrated with all of your friends. You deserved every second of the celebration. 

By now you have realized, “Oh, I have to enter the real world. Everyone else my age has their lives together. How did I get here?” Trust me, I graduated from college just a few months ago and have been asking myself the same question. 

Whether you’re a college senior or a recent graduate, here are some tips on how to transition from college to #adulting.


We all know at least one vina that calls her past “the good old days” because she is not ready to accept this new change in her life. So, help her come to terms with the fact that college is over and a new chapter has begun. Life is much more enjoyable when you are not pining for your former college days.


Dorm life came with many benefits. One that included the year-round meal plan that made sure you weren’t starving to death between classes. Real life is not as kind (RIP to your wallet) which means you’ll need to learn how to cook for yourself. This trait also comes in handy when you want to impress your new vinas or bae. If making a full meal is too intense for you, start by mastering a few easy recipes like Insta-worthy eggs or avocado toast. It’s only up  from there!


Create a new social circle by joining a book club, trying out for an intramural sport, or taking part in the choir class that you always wanted to try out. You could even attempt to be a part of a roller derby group, which apparently is a good way to get some exercise and meet new people as you bump into them on the track. You now have time to try out everything you’ve wanted to do, PLUS meet new vinas while doing it. 



It’s hard to spend four years with the same group of vinas only to have everyone scatter across the country (or world) after graduation. The best way to keep those relationships strong is to keep in touch! It sounds obvious, but many people get too caught up in their new jobs and new lives and end up leaving their old friends behind. To avoid this, it helps to use different apps to stay in touch like Skype, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, or Hey! Vina. Trust me, letting friends fall to the wayside = losing the support you need as you start this new stage in life.


Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t have the hang of #adulting right away. It’s a whole new chapter of your life and can often be hard chapter to navigate. So, give yourself a break and take the time you need to figure out what is right for you. TREAT. YO. SELF.

The transition to #adulting doesn’t have to be hard when you have your vinas backing you up! Swipe right today!


While we all want to grow up and finally feel like adults, childhood was probably the prime of our lives. We were confident, curious and generally happy about everything. Let’s get back to that. If you find yourself stressed and over-worked, or just generally confused about adulting, we suggest taking these tips to connect with the kid inside of you.


It’s funny how much you can remember by digging through old photographs, school projects and artwork. Take inventory of everything you notice—who were your best friends? What did you like to wear? What were your favorite places? What was your favorite color? Book? Movie? These simple answers are just the beginning of piercing together who you were as a child.


Once you have an idea of what your inner child is like, start exploring your past interests and environments. If you live in your hometown, taking a trip to a place you haven’t been for years can spark feelings of giddiness and nostalgia. If you don’t, just engaging yourself in activities you once did, such as an old sport or creative venture, can be enough to reconnect you with your old self.



The beauty of being a child is that everything seems new and exciting. Kids can make adventures out of walks, masterpieces out of crayons and worlds with just their imaginations. Contrary to what most people believe, you don’t have to spend a lot of money on vacations and outings for enjoyment. Go to the park and walk barefoot in the grass, have a picnic or play on the swings. Take a bike ride—or even a walk—in a part of your neighborhood you’ve never been to. Lay a blanket in your backyard and watch the sun set or the stars twinkle.

Connecting with your inner child is more than just fun and games; a healthy relationship with your inner child has been shown to result in better emotional health. And a healthy mind is definitely something we’re down with.

Looking for some new friends who can bring out your inner kid? Start swiping on Hey! VINA.


So you made it (yay!)—you’re officially an adult. Well wait, hold on. Ever notice that you look at those around you and think every single one of them seems to have their lives together? Everyone except you. The truth is, we’re all winging it. Early 20’s or late 50’s, we’re all just trying our best to muddle through, learning things as we go. There’s no ‘how to’ book on life, instead we have to just put our game faces on and get on with it.

So that’s the big secret—no one really knows what they’re doing. There is at no point in your life, a day when you wake up with all the answers. In fact, adulthood is more about accepting that you don’t know everything, that you still carry worries and insecurities, but you get on with it anyway. If you can accept that, then you are as close to a successful adult as you can possibly be!


A lot of adult life—especially when you are new to it—can seem somewhat mundane. You might discover new found happiness in the most unlikely of places: an unusual sense of excitement from a new dish sponge, a pair of cozy slippers or socks to slip on after a long day of being a #girlboss, or the happiness that comes with good drying weather on laundry day. It really is the simple pleasures, isn’t it?

But there are a lot of exciting things about being an adult too. You have the freedom to go out and do what you want. If you have a dream- go and chase it, vina! There is no one stopping you but yourself. So go out there and grab life while you can, do the things you always dreamt of, and fulfill your childhood dreams!

We’re all just looking for happiness in any form that we can. That’s what makes us alike. It’s OK to not know in what direction you are going, as long as you don’t stop moving. Adult life can be daunting, but with mistakes comes experience. We have one life to live, so don’t let fears and unknowns hold you back. Go out and live your best life!

Adulting doesn’t have to be hard when you have your vinas supporting you! Start swiping today.


Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.” – Julia Child

A lot of people have a certain idea of what “life” is supposed to be.  And for a lot of those people, working on building a new career does not fall in the 30-40 years old category.  For most people, that is what one does after school in one’s 20s. When you’re turning 30 and heading for 40, your mother is probably asking you when you will settle down and start a family. Between 40 and 50, you’re supposed to be standing in drop-off queues at schools and attending soccer matches. For some moms, this is when you give up your career and dedicate your life to those who need you more than overbearing bosses and chatty co-workers. This is the “social ideal,” The way things are deemed to be.

But what happens if your life contradicts the social norms? If you do the opposite of what is socially accepted as normal? When you settle down and have a family in your 20s?  When you wake up one morning, and you’re thirty-something and you decide to conjure up a whole new career?  Or you have found your true passion and it took you turning 30 to figure it out?

A general picture of a –quote unquote- thirty something year old woman is usually pictured as a woman who has her life in order. She’s married with primary school aged children, living in a mortgaged house and spends her days carpooling, taking the dogs for walks and meeting other like-minded moms for coffee during school hours. Not accurate at ALL, but idealistic nonetheless.

But when you’re a thirty-something year old female student and your day consists of all of the above, and then some, because you decided to register for a bachelor’s degree in your thirties, life might not always feel as perfect as it’s perceived. People will ask you how you do it?  Sometimes you will say, “If you want it bad enough, it wouldn’t matter how you get there.” Other times, you will say, “You just carry on through the drama.” But the real answer to that is “I don’t effing know 😊 how the eff I even woke up this morning.”  The one thing I do know is that if you decided to do this thing, only you can finish it.


You might be a full-time student or working an entry-level job. Or you might be a stay-a-home mom and studying online. Either way, your plan must be clear.  It does not have to be consistent because, you know, kids get sick sometimes. As long as there is a plan.

Lots of women start new careers in their 30s and succeed. Julia Child, Vera Wang, J.K. Rowling, Martha Stewart,  Sara Blakely, Joy Behar, Anna Mary Robertson Moses are among the few and the list goes on.

The key to coping as a student in your thirties when you are also other things i.e. working, mother, wife etc., is having a backup plan for a backup plan. If your A-team fails you, have a B-team and a C-team and a D-team on stand-by.  Eat good food, exercise regularly, take good supplements and keep the end goal firmly in mind.  If you have that down, you’re good to go.

For good measure and lots of motivation, I reiterate Julia Child’s quote: “Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.” 

Looking for other vinas to help you on your life journey? They’re waiting for you here!


Alone time is essential in blossoming into a strong vina; but books can also be a great conversation topic and a window into the world of another’s soul. Reading is one of the best ways to unwind, pass the time, explore new worlds, and bond with yourself. The way we interpret texts and the influence they have on our everyday lives says a lot about our character. I love discussing books I have read with my grandma (she reads even more than I do). I am a strong advocate for reading and an even stronger advocate for book clubs.

So… We’re starting one! Download the Hey! VINA app and meet other vinas in your area; get together and discuss the books we’re reading. Instagram a pic of your book, or your book club meet up and use the hashtag #VINAbookclub. Join us in this intellectual adventure; broaden both your mind and your vocab.

For our first round we picked a fun and relatively quick read, written by a vina of many talents. Arden Rose is a “person of the internet” with one of the longest held and most strongly followed YouTube channels; a couple of acting gigs; a book titled Almost Adulting: All You Need to Know to Get It Together (Sort Of). I, myself, am one of those Youtube subscribers, Instagram followers, and an all around proponent of Arden Rose. Recently, a friend of mine said that I remind her of Rose; now I cannot help but notice the similarities in our character, humor, and couch potato-ness. Maybe we are kindred spirits, or maybe she is just so damn relatable. She broaches sex, role models, mental health, body image, etc. in the most relatable and agreeable of ways.

As I started reading, I decided to take everything very seriously; so when Rose advises that we “sit back, grab a large mug of tea, and let’s get into it,” I jumped right up and made myself a large mug of White Tea with Blueberry and Elderflower. Only then was I truly ready to begin.

In the chapter entitled: “Creating the Perfect Apartment without Wads of Cash or Buckets of Tears” she shares her theories on how to best utilize your space (no matter the size) in order to maximize specific function and productivity whilst minimizing stress. She always suggests adding greenery to make your house a home, and if you can’t keep plants from withering up or turning brown in two days time… stick with succulents.

There is one page in this chapter in which she commands you to separate your work and sleeping spaces, clarifying that “you don’t want to become some weird person who ends up sharing a bed with a cup of coffee and a notebook.” Upon taking my nose out of the book, I found myself leaning deep into my pillows, Almost Adulting in hand, a pen and pad within reach, and the previously mentioned mug of tea precariously perched atop my duvet cover…. at least it isn’t coffee. While this is obviously not the first time this has been suggested, it may be the first time I take it into consideration. Although she is just about my age, I feel like Rose is this authoritative figure to be taken seriously and she knows what the hell she’s talking about.

Another insight Rose gives within the narrative of her life is the summer she molded herself into a morning person. She has always thought she was a “night owl,” (as have I) however she concludes that this is a made up term and with enough will power and a reasonable bed time, we are all capable of rising with the sun and getting shit done. She recalls how adult she felt those couple of months when she was going to bed before midnight and waking up before seven. I too spent a summer utilizing my mornings and I wish I had never broken that cycle. I was adulting better at the age of seventeen than I am now. 


Almost Adulting: All You Need to Know to Get it Together (Sort Of) serves as a guide into the tricky waters of adulthood. A quirky read full of anecdotes and so many jokes that flow effortlessly and make you lol at nearly every turn. Rose takes some of the most difficult and salient obstacles faced by young adults and adds humor and approachableness to it. Informing us on the many strategies to overcome these obstacles; all the while reminding us that we are all human.

Grab a copy and get going! Make sure to tell us about it– tag us in an Instagram picture of your book/club and make sure to add the #VINAbookclub.

(feature image via @paolahueck)



Hey seniors! Just a month or so to go ’til you’re off in the real world! Not feeling prepped enough for adulthood? You may be more ready than you think. Here are some signs you’re totally gonna kill it as a graduate:



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You’re probably going to have your own streaming account in that new apartment you’re sharing with your friends. Who cares if you don’t have cable, this is the new standard for successful adulting.


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Gone are the days of improv dishes, eating out of takeout cartons. Owning actual silverware is a good sign! You may occasionally have to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew, but you’re doing well, kid!


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If you haven’t let midterms get in the way of your friendships, it’s a good sign you’ll make them last after college.


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You haven’t touched the instant stuff in a few months. Instead, you’ve been indulging in the fancy kind from a local restaurant with perfectly cooked noodles and real veggies. It’s surely a sign you’re ready to grow up.


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If your parents no longer have to call the doctor for you to schedule an appointment, you’re one step closer to adulthood. We know it may be the ONLYA time you ever pick up the phone to make an actual phone call, but it’s progress.



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You’ve finally realized how important sleep is and no longer pull all-nighters to cram for a test or finish a paper. You’re still a fan of naps though, I mean who isn’t?

See? You’ve got this! Find another friend to practice #adulting with and you’ll both be pros in no time!

(Feature image via KaceePhotos)