STUDIES SHOW WE LOSE FRIENDS AFTER 30 – VINA IS HERE TO CHALLENGE THAT

Sources like CNN, Huffington Post, and Broadly (just to name a few) have reported that as early as age 25, we start losing friends and making way less new ones. There were two major studies conducted recently that concluded after age 25 or 30 your social circle starts shrinking.

Around age 30, people start evaluating who is important in their lives and who is not, even subconsciously casting out those who don’t make the cut. Basically, we get lazy and decide it’s not worth keeping in touch with certain people.

Here at VINA, we totally get that maintaining relationships and meeting brand new friends can be really hard. We created Hey! VINA for the very purpose of helping women meet other women. I’s so important that we continue to develop and maintain friendships, especially after 30.

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We can only hope our squad looks this awesome when we’re old and grey. (📸: Advanced Style)

So help us challenge the idea that we stop making friends as we get older. Download the app if you haven’t already and start making connections. After all, they say life is what you make it. So make it great with your vinas. 👯

As you get older, are you finding your social group dwindling? Let us know in the comments!

(Featured image via apresfete.blogspot.com)

WOMEN AND MEN MAKE FRIENDS DIFFERENTLY: HERE’S WHY

We frequently get asked why our app is just for women. While there are multiple answers to that question, one of the most important ones is that women simply make friends differently than men. To shed some light on this fact, we’ve rounded up some examples of the main differences:

TRANSACTIONAL VS. EMOTIONAL

While men’s friendships tend to revolve around activities, female connections revolve more around intimacy and sharing their thoughts and feelings. Men might associate with one another through transactional, function-focused activities, like helping a buddy fix his car or paint his apartment. On the other hand, women prefer to engage in more intimate activities centered around talking and less doing.

SHOULDER-TO-SHOULDER VS. FACE-TO-FACE

Similar to the previous point, men seem to like shoulder-to-shoulder activities like watching sports games or drinking next to each other at a bar. As a contrast, women enjoy face-to-face activities like sitting down for a meal or just going somewhere to talk.

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pin me!

ONE VS. MANY

Studies show that women prefer spending time one-on-one (most of the time) while men prefer hanging out in groups. Since women are more interested in exchanging thoughts and emotions, they like one-on-one time because it’s easier to talk and listen. Men usually share group-specific activities (like poker or golfing) that require more than one person to begin with.

MAINTENENCE

It’s been found that women spend much more time and effort not only cultivating friendships but maintaining them. Women want to get to know someone and create lasting deep connections, and they’re more ready to put in the effort.

For all these reasons and more, VINA realized that we needed to create a safe place for women to make connections in a way that specifically catered to their specific behaviors and needs. We wanted to focus on personality, not aesthetics, and help women find other like-minded women that they could bond and grow relationships with.

Do you find your friendships are much different than your male friends?

IMPOSTER SYNDROME? WE CAN HELP

Even life’s most empowered moments can be undermined by the toxic voice of self-doubt. If you’ve ever stood at the cusp of a great achievement or grand endeavor only to catch yourself casting furtive, unsure glances over your shoulder as if you’ve made it this far by chance and it’s only a matter of time before you’re exposed, you’re not alone. Women of all calibers of success struggle with feeling like frauds every now and then. Even the woman who runs her own company can find herself wrestling with that annoying voice accusing her of being an imposter. The caustic whispers that try to reduce a woman’s achievements to mere flukes love preying on any and everyone willing to lend an ear.

 The root of this unfortunate, yet widespread phenomenon has been researched by both men and women, and while the large scope of causes is multi-faceted and dense, there is one overarching theme that surfaces when it comes to explaining this imposter syndrome: confidence. 

In Katty Kay and Claire Shipman’s book, “The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance,” confidence is defined by one expert as “the purity of action produced by a mind free of doubt.” The authors cite, on more than one occasion, research illustrating that the undermining of one’s confidence was not only highly prevalent in women, but downright rampant. 

As vinas, it is difficult to authentically support and encourage fellow women in all the ways that we should when we can’t find that source of confidence in ourselves. To combat the prevalent, yet totally vanquishable imposter syndrome we need to remind ourselves of a few things. 

1. We are enough. Even without the decorations, degrees, and fancy titles, we are enough as we are. 

2. It is an unfortunate, yet common tendency to compare our own achievements to that of our male counterparts and end up feeling insufficient. We have the power to take command of our own narrative. We can author our own story, and script an anecdote of success, failure, or self-pity. Choose to be kind to yourself. Choose to see all the ways in which you have achieved and overcome, then write your narrative from that beautiful, bountiful space. 

3.   Take a pen to paper and brag about yourself for a moment. Something powerful happens when thoughts are put into writing. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself and get #LadyBragging. Remind yourself of all the magical things that make you uniquely you.

4. Get to the heart of the matter. If you feel imposter syndrome setting in, ask yourself why. Ask yourself what about the task at hand is causing you to feel like an imposter. Maybe you’ve just taken a new management position and you’re feeling like a complete fraud who managed to land the job by some kind of trickery. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Underqualified? Get to the root of the issue and then reframe it from there: I recognize that this new opportunity comes with more responsibility and foreign territory, but I was hired because people believe in my skill-set and qualifications. I am excited to embark on this new challenge.

5. Nothing beats talking to your closest vinas 👯. When you hear that malicious voice getting louder, threatening to expose you, find comfort and strength in your fellow vinas. Let them tell you all the ways in which you rock and then carry on, emboldened and empowered.

Do you have any other advice for fellow vinas suffering from imposter syndrome?

(Featured image via kinarino.jp)

THIS JUST IN: COLLEGE STUDENTS ARE USING DATING APPS TO MEET FRIENDS (DUH)

In a not-so-surprising twist, it turns out that college students are using apps meant for romantic dating to meet platonic friends. Obviously, here at VINA, we’re not surprised. We recognized early the need for a friendship app (hello, Hey! Vina) because not so long ago, it just didn’t exist.

Before Hey! Vina existed, our very own CEO and co-founder Olivia tried to use apps like OkCupid to meet girl-friends when she moved to San Francisco. She was met with everything from “I’m not a lesbian!” to women admitting that they were also using the app for the same reason. That’s when Olivia realized that there was a need for an app designed specifically for women to meet friends. But not everyone has caught on.

A recent study reported that 53% of the college students surveyed are using dating apps for meeting friends (with the other 47% looking for romantic relationships or hook-ups). Now, there’s nothing wrong with using dating apps for finding a hook-up or your next bae. But when trying to meet platonic friends, it can cause a bit of confusion. On most dating apps, there’s a focus on physical appearance and attraction and not as much focus on personality and interests.

Plus, when everyone’s intentions are different and unclear (friendship vs. hooking up vs. relationships), one or more parties stand to get their feelings hurt. The technology of dating apps isn’t built for discovering people who you could form strong friendships with.

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For all you collegiate babes, there’s a way better way to meet friends and form lasting, deep connections. Save romantic relationships for the Tinders of the world, and head on over to Hey! Vina to find your new bestie. We use personality quizzes, education and career information, and interest-based questions to make it easier to find gals who you’ll click with.

We encourage meeting up with your matches right away – so you can know immediately if she’s going to be your new vina! Unlike romantic dating, there’s no pheromones or sexual chemistry to add into the mix – we always say: “If you’re friends on paper, you’ll be friends IRL.” So forget the pressure, and go find your new vina!

Have you tried dating apps to meet friends? Let us know your experiences in the comments!

(Featured image via brandyusa.tumblr.com)

HOW TO PREP FOR AN EMPTY NEST

While not technically a clinical condition, Empty Nest Syndrome is real and it affects parents all over the world. But not all hope is lost. There are things you can do before your child moves out on their own to prepare for the transition. We dug around a little, and it turns out that research shows it gives parents the perfect opportunity to expand their network and create deep, lasting bonds with new and old friends.

GET IN SOME QUALITY TIME

This one might be obvious, but Shelley Emling from the Huffington Post says she wished she had taken advantage of her son’s availability the summer before he went away to college.  It’s important to appreciate the little moments that you might miss when your kid moves out.  Family dinners, days at the ballpark, or even simply walking the dog together can be nice ways to get in some quality time before they fly the metaphorical nest.

SET EXPECTATIONS

If you’re worried about losing touch, be proactive! Set some expectations for visits home and even weekly phone calls. Don’t make it a chore, but let your kid know you’re excited to hear all about what they’re up to. It’s okay to tell them you’ll miss them – they’re going to miss you too!

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KNOW THAT THIS IS EXCITING TIME FOR EVERYONE

It may be hard at first, but as most parents can attest to – it’s an exciting time for your child and for you. Even the American Psychological Association reported that “this period can be one of increased satisfaction and improved relationships” for parents. So take advantage! You now have more time to really focus on your social relationships – whether that’s with your other family members, your partner, or your friends.

For all our rockin’ moms out there, try Hey! Vina to find some other moms going through the same thing. You can bond over your empty nest and then find something to do together in your free time. Take up a new hobby together, focus on fitness, or finally try all those Pinterest recipes you’ve been pinning all year.

How are you preparing for an empty nest? Let us know in the comments below!

(Feature image via jcrewing.tumblr.com)