Author: deannamonet

WAYS TO PICK YOURSELF UP AFTER A GOOD CRY

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You’re in your room, your eyes are puffy and you just got done crying harder than you ever thought possible. Let me be the first to tell you: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this picture. In fact, you should be proud that you were brave enough to let yourself express all that emotion! Below are a couple of caring and healing actions you can take once you’re ready to move forward from that freeing cry sesh.

YOU ARE THE BOSS OF YOU

Once you have allowed yourself to calm down, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are the boss of your life and your emotions. Being hurt is okay, so is being sad or scared, but it is ultimately up to you to pick yourself up and push yourself forward. Remember: you are a boss babe, and you are capable of outshining all of the stars put together. This is probably the most crucial step, in my opinion, because a vina’s power comes from loving and believing in herself!

INDULGE A LITTLE

Granted, it’s never okay to eat your feelings, but we’re talking about a little indulgement. There’s nothing like dipping into your favorite snack for a little pick-me-up after spending so much energy being sad and down. Or perhaps your idea of this includes splurging on that aged brie from Trader Joe’s you’ve been eyeing all week. If there was ever a time to indulge a little, this would be it!

TREAT YOURSELF

Do you have a face mask that you have been saving for just the right moment? This is it. This is the moment. After giving yourself a pep talk and eating to your heart’s content, rejuvenate with a regimen of your choice! Whether it is a face, lip, or hair mask, do something that will make you feel energized and like you are ready for what’s next. Go the extra mile and throw some bath salts or bubbles in that bad boy! The point of this step is to feel fresh and new—like you just wiped off all the tears and the self-doubt from your life and are ready to tackle whatever comes your way.

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Photograph by Paramount Home Entertainment

BUST OUT YOUR FAVE FEEL-GOOD FILMS/TUNES

It has been scientifically proven that when you fill your brain up with happy things while you’re sad, it has a positive effect on you! It may be tempting to wallow in your own sadness and watch all the saddest movies or listen to “In My Feels” radio, but you must push past the sad and get into the happy. My go to right now? “Thank U, Next” By baby girl Ariana Grande! Make yourself a playlist pre-breakdown so you are prepared! Another way to rid the blues? Watch some feel-good movies. This includes something with an overall positive message, a plot where the strong female lead makes a big comeback, or something straight up funny. Did anyone say “Mean Girls?”

This list is a very small amount of things you can do to pick yourself back up after a good ugly-cry session. The world may seem like it is just not going right for you at the moment, but you have the world at your feet; but first, let’s get you through this bad day. You got this girl.

Lean in to your community of kickass vinas on Hey! VINA who are ready to love and support every piece of you. 

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WHAT IS HAPPINESS TO YOU?

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Happiness: How do you define it? I don’t mean, “ Hey Siri, what is the definition of happiness?” I mean when you think of happiness, what pops in your head? Is it hot cocoa on a cold day, or is it hanging out with family and friends? For all my taken ladies, maybe it’s being in the arms of your lover! For my single vinas, maybe it’s Channing Tatum’s rock-hard “Magic Mike” abs. Happiness is different for everyone and is not usually any one thing. No matter what form it comes in, we need to realize when it comes knocking and embrace it.

My happiness? The little things. Of course, getting published one day would make me happy, but the real happiness? The kind that stays with you in the toughest of times? They are born through any one of my five senses and live on in your heart as mere mental moments, like the sound bites that life provides in the most subtle ways. Happiness is the sound of my little sister’s laugh, her smile, the look in her eyes when she discovers something new. It’s looking in the mirror and seeing something worth loving, putting together a cute outfit that I didn’t steal from Instagram. It’s the taste of success big and small, the feeling of petting my cat, Pepper. Happiness comes in many shapes and sizes, and sometimes I don’t even know it’s happiness coming to say hello until the moment has come and gone. However, I appreciate it all the same.

Happiness isn’t something to be chased, because it is all around you, sitting in plain sight, hanging around in places called opportunities. All we need to do is reach out and grab them.

About two years ago, I had broken up with my boyfriend of six months, and my 18-year-old heart was pretty bent out of shape. It didn’t have much to do with him, but rather me questioning why I wasn’t allowed to be happy; Why couldn’t I simply have a man to be there and make me smile? Quite frankly, I wanted to be someone’s world, and that’s when the light bulb lit up, and I realized that my happiness was right in front of me. I didn’t reside in a man. It was about the moments in front of me that happened every single day. I had to learn to appreciate the little things and let them fill me up with the joy and love that I deserved and from that.

So after all of this, let me ask you: what does happiness mean to you?

Share your happiness with the people you love – get on the Hey! VINA app to find vinas that share your “joy language.”