I love sex as much as the next vina. It’s empowering, liberating, and just plain fun, but if you’re not taking the necessary precautions, sex can end up being a traumatizing experience. The first step to avoiding a bad time? Talk to your new partner about safe sex. I get it – when it’s getting hot and heavy in the bedroom the last thing you probably want to do is talk about contraceptives.
But it’s 2019, vinas. It’s time we disregard the notion that talking about safe sex is a mood-killer. Do you know what’s unsexy to me? Unplanned pregnancies and/or sexually transmitted infections.
So how do you talk about sex safe with new partners? Well, let’s break it down:
COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE
If you trust another person with your body, you should be able to trust that you can have open and honest conversations about sex with them too. This should always be an open-ended conversation as situations can change at any given moment. You and your partner should be on the same page at all times.
GET TESTED. SERIOUSLY.
It’s up to your discretion how much you want to disclose about your sexual history, but it’s wise to suggest getting tested with your new partner before having sex. It’s especially vital if you and your partner have agreed to be non-monogamous and are seeing other people.
FEELING SAFE IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS BEING SAFE.
I hate to admit that I’ve been in one too many situations where I did not feel safe. It’s essential to be vocal and communicate how you feel with your partner, if you can, to avoid long-lasting regret. Remember, it’s okay to change your mind. You do not owe anyone, anything, especially sex.
ALWAYS BE PREPARED
Look, in an ideal world, you’d be able to have a talk about the logistics every single time before you strip down, but sometimes that’s not the case. Which is why it’s extra important to keep yourself safe and be prepared. If that means getting yourself on the pill, the patch, getting some dental dams, or keeping a couple of condoms on you, then so be it. Always be prepared.
At the end of the day, you get the final say when it comes to your body. So get to talkin’. Start the dialogue between you and your partner, because the sooner you do, the sooner you get to enjoy worry-free sexy time.
Talking about safe sex methods with fellow vinas made it easier to talk to my partners. Ready to find a fellow confidant? Download the Hey! VINA app today!