You changed jobs or moved to that new city. You’ve switched partners, became single to focus on you, or tried to shake out your routine. Yet you still feel like happiness is unreachable. Why is that so? Read on for ways to change the way you think and start living a more content life!
BEAT BAD HABITS
There are certain habits that we don’t know that we have. You might spend too much time on social media and not get enough work done, and this may frustrate the people around you. The problem isn’t the social media—the problem is that the work isn’t being done. Their reaction to you may shock you and upset you because, in your mind, you didn’t deserve it. But if you think about it, nobody would have gotten upset over your social media habits if the work was done on time.
Someone might have said something to you like “It’s always the same thing with you” or “this is exactly what happened last time.” I believe that sometimes, it really is just the situation you’re in. But other times, when it’s easier to blame the situation rather than do some introspection and change yourself for the better, I think that is the time when you really have to knuckle-down and brave face through the transition that will ultimately change the entire trajectory of your life.
If you start noticing a pattern or a continuous thread of responses from the people around you, it’s time to seriously start thinking about the impact your attitude has on your everyday life—and especially your future.
THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE CONNECTED
Activating your brain to start noticing the things you do that is causing you to behave in ways that may be destructive to others is no easy task. You basically have to dissect yourself and find out what the root of your behavioral issues are. And that is daunting. I’ve been listening to Dr. Caroline Leaf recently and find her books very helpful. She speaks about controlling your thoughts and switching on your brain. This is basically the idea that your thoughts control your feelings, and your feelings control your behavior.
If you can control your thoughts and how you think, you can control how you feel—which means you can control your reactions to different triggers and situations.
We all think that we can’t help how we feel. And perhaps we can’t, but we certainly can help how we respond to our feelings. Have you ever thought yourself into a bad mood? If you can do that then, as hard as it sounds, surely you can think yourself into a good mood.
FOCUS ON YOU
If you feel that you are always unlucky, that the world is always against you, or that everyone always treats you with disrespect and nobody sees how much you do for everyone, maybe you should go back to the beginning and work on yourself first. Take some real time out. Away from everything and everyone. Take a diary and write down all the things that affect your emotions and ask yourself why they do. Write down everything that makes you happy and what you can do to motivate your happiness. Write down ways you think you can experience that happiness more often and how you can increase moments of happiness into a longer lasting state of being—rather than just bouts of happiness which are dependant on external influences.
CHANGE YOUR POV
The best way to change other people is to start by changing yourself. And I know that they say you can’t change other people, you can only change how you react to them. But I believe something different. I believe that if you work on yourself and develop skills that will conform to you – not to anyone else’s standard – the people around you and the relationships you have will automatically change. And in that and as much as you don’t really change the people around you, you certainly change their perception of you and the way that they respond to you. For instance, if you walk past a colleague for months without saying hello to them, chances are that they won’t see the need to say hello to you. But if you change the way that you see them and stop one day to find out how their evening was, chances are that they will respond well to that and then one day, they might even start the conversation with you. Do you see how the colleague in that scenario “changed” from not seeing the need to say hello to you to initiating the conversation? In this scenario, you might think “Wow, the colleague really changed a lot” but, when you unpack it, you find that the real person who changed was you.
If we focus our energy on ourselves, we can all change the way we respond to situations. You might think that you can’t help yourself, but if you put the same dedication into yourself that you put into trying to change everybody else, you will soon learn that you can help yourself. You can change how you think and feel. You can decide not to blow up a situation. You do have the power. It resides within you.
Surround yourself with positive influences—download Hey! VINA to meet supportive vinas today!