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You don't change completely, you just improve.

It’s that time of year. Everyone is all, “New Year, new me,” and here I am just trying to avoid all these posts from my friends and family. I hate the new year for this reason. Why do we need the new year to make us want to change?

Let’s be honest, January 1 is the day when everyone is declaring how they will be new and improved this year. As if the first day in January is any different than March 15 or August 2. Why does January 1 make everyone want to go crazy?

Personally, I stopped making resolutions a few years ago. I found myself setting unrealistic expectations for myself that I wouldn’t normally do. Instead, I made myself some goals and checked in on it a few times a year. Then, toward the latter half of the year, I would review what I had done, what I maybe could still do, and what I could just cross off. It put me in a better headspace. I felt more in control. It is the act of “failing better” – when you stop putting resolutions on yourself, it gives you an opportunity to fail and recover. Nothing is written in stone, which means you can get back on that horse and try again.

Let’s talk about some of the not-so-healthy things we do in the name of the New Year, and how to change that mindset!



Maybe you’re not aware, but there’s a movement for body positivity and loving yourself. Some of us have had to teach ourselves how to love the body we have. Many of us still struggle. I try to gas myself up, and gas up the women around me, because I want them to love themselves. I hate hearing my best friend talk about “when I’m down 30 more pounds I’ll be comfortable.” No sis! You’re gorgeous the way you are! If we keep telling ourselves that 30 pounds from now “I’ll be worth loving” or “I’ll be worth buying this dress” or “I’ll be worthy,” then we’re not doing ourselves any favors.

Diets and fads are the most harmful thing. Obviously, if you’re on a specific diet due to lifestyle, sure! Examples are vegan, gluten-free (for medical), etc. But to follow a diet because it’s trending is insane, in my opinion. Especially when there are many reputable articles out there telling us how harmful diet culture is.

Let’s not forget that we are showing our kids this. When we constantly go on fad diets, we’re showing our girls that we have to keep up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians) in order to be accepted in society. We’re telling them that their bodies aren’t okay the way they are.  

Instead, why not just try healthy eating rather than a fad diet? Why not try to love yourself? Make that your resolution to love yourself unconditionally.

Like Mama Ru says: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else? Can I get an amen?” Amen, Mother Ru.


Why do you wait until the new year to join a gym? They count on all of us to want to rush to the gyms. They prey on you to get into this contract with them so that they can charge you for a whole year. And for some of these gyms, good luck getting out of that contract. I have seen in some gyms that you literally need a doctor to tell them why you are unable to work out. Then they will consider to let you out of your contract.

Instead of joining a gym, why not join your local rec center? How about the YMCA? A local fitness group that meets in a park? Or just watch The Fitness Marshall on YouTube and dance along with him. He’s amazing and you can get in a good workout. Also, there are tons of fitness apps you can download on your phone, tablet, or smart TV/device. Save some money and gas.



Yeah, that small of a number. Shocking isn’t it? Depending on the source, you can find numbers that range from 10% to 39% – but a lot of it has to do with the age demographic and the specific goals. But still, it’s not a lot!

It also doesn’t help that people tend to focus on the things about themselves they don’t like and the things they want to change. By doing this, you’re evoking these negative emotions in yourself. Generally speaking, these negative emotions aren’t going to motivate you.


The word resolution – close to resolute (read: unwavering) – sounds so final. As if it can’t be changed. Instead, try making goals! Some goals to try this year:

  • Join the ACLU

  • Meditate more

  • Enroll in school

  • Try to keep in touch with friends more often

  • Make time for yourself x times a week/month

  • Eat healthier, but don’t deny cravings

  • Be kinder to yourself

  • Read more books this year

 See? Aren’t those better goals than some of those resolutions?

Toward the end of the year, and for the first few weeks at the beginning of the year, the commercials are all aimed at “New year, new you”. I say bull****: New Year, same you. Maybe a better you, but not a new you. You’re already perfect. And if you don’t have a vina to tell you that, let me be it! I’m here to gas you up.

Making goals and motivating yourself to reach them is way easier with vinas by your side! Download the Hey! VINA app to find your tribe. 


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