It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or so they say. I’m a single mom to two boys, 18 and 6. I’m supposed to be decking all the halls in balls of jolly, but I just can’t get into the spirit. Every year, the holiday decorations arrive in stores just one week earlier than the last. Thanksgiving napkins get mixed in with the candy corn and candy canes. How does a vina deal with not feeling that sparkling holiday spirit?
ACKNOWLEDGE IT
There is nothing worse than feeling bad for feeling bad about something that you’re not supposed to feel bad about. Everyone has their reasons for not embracing all the glitz and gold of the holiday season. Whatever you’re reasoning is, it should be something you acknowledge. Once you can admit that you are not psyched to exchange gifts or make cookies, you can get past all the emotions that are associated with the less than enthusiastic months.
As a mom, I felt guilty and bitter because I didn’t want to celebrate the holidays. Heck! Some of my worst moments have happened on or near these major holidays. But as moms usually do, I smiled and told people how excited I was for the gift swapping and holiday punch. At first, when I told people how I disliked the holidays I got the “oh, stop you’re a mom” and the “you’re only saying that because you’re feeling down right now” responses. But over time, I remained true to how I felt and people learned to accept it.
MAKE THE HOLIDAY YOUR OWN
There is an enormous amount of pressure to have a perfectly decorated house and gorgeous table arrangement. Pinterest and Facebook have everyone’s snapshot of their amazing winter scenes. The cool girls from college are all doing that annual group dinner. Whatever the case may be, don’t feel pressured to make your holiday experience like everyone else’s. You make a slammin’ breakfast casserole (which just so happens to be my personal claim to fame), then rock it! Find one thing about the holidays that gets you even slightly psyched, and own it.
FIND YOUR HOLIDAY TRIBE
Believe me when I tell you that you are not the only vina out there that doesn’t jump for joy for the holidays. There are other women out there that feel the same way but are most likely reluctant to mention it. Be honest about your likes and dislikes, and find that vina companion.
Another great way to get through the holidays is to totally celebrate them! You’re probably saying, “Um, ok she literally just told me it was perfectly cool if I didn’t.” But invite other vinas to a party and just celebrate being alive!
Whether your bells jingle or you Grinch it up during the holiday season, you are entitled to feel how you’re feeling. Make the best of each day and find a reason to celebrate anything that means something to you.
To find your holiday tribe, download Hey! VINA and start swiping! Or create an open plan — holiday craft night, anyone? — and meet more vinas that way.🎁🌲
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