I love watching T.V. shows that depict a group of moms who are best friends. Their kids play together and always just happen to be in the same class. Meals are made and carpools are organized effortlessly, as if everyone is on a synchronized schedule. Their houses may range from immaculate to disastrous, but that’s the only thing defining their differences. I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. How do these moms make friends?
I recently thought to myself how I have no friends who are single moms. As a mom of two boys, ages 6 and 18, I want a vina that understands what the tears are about when my son graduates high school next year. I want her to feel my happiness as I watch my child become an independent first-grader. So how does a mama find her tribe?
DOWNLOAD HEY! VINA
The easiest way to find other vina moms is to download the Hey! VINA app. You can join a community (how many you want!) like Stay-at-Home Moms, Working Moms, or New Mom and you can be matched with other vinas in the same category you chose. Then, just swipe right for a vina that you want to connect with!
GET OUT THERE
You have interests and hobbies, so share them! Get out there and find a group of vinas that you can participate in your interests with. Chances are, there will be a few that are fellow vina mamas themselves looking to chat. Exchange numbers so that you can make plans. The key here is to follow through! It’s easy to say “let’s keep in touch,” but harder to commit to it. Call or text them and make plans for a coffee meet date. If it’s hard to do because you have kids, bring them along! Kids are natural at making friends, so let them play while you two vina mamas get to know each other.
DON’T PASS JUDGMENT
There’s a lot of pressure on women, especially the modern mama, to portray a certain image or picture of what a mom or woman should be. Remember all moms go through ups and downs and face the same stigmas. The vina mama in faded yoga pants is no different than the one wearing a nicely ironed pantsuit (but how did she find the time to iron it?!).
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Building a relationship takes time. Being patient and getting to know someone is a slow process, but very rewarding. Having someone to talk to about your daily highs and lows is exciting. If one way doesn’t work, try another. There is a best vina out there for everyone — mamas included.