Well, you found out and boy, do you feel betrayed. Because of this, your whole friendship could be permanently damaged. Your friend was talking about you behind your back. So where does this leave your friendship? Are you able to move on or will this friendship be left behind? As vinas, we need to learn how to answer this question and handle this situation with class, poise and ultimately respect. Here are some tips on how to do just that.
KEEP IT ON LOCKDOWN
The moment you find out that one of your friends has talked about you behind your back, you must keep it to yourself. Lock. It. Down. With that being said, try not to cause any more unnecessary drama. Keep everything as courteous as you can.
TRUST YOUR SOURCE
Before diving into the problem headfirst, ask yourself these questions: Who told you your friend was talking behind your back? Is this a reliable source? Is it a true vina who has your back? Can you trust what they have told you? If you feel unsure about any of these questions, make sure you have the facts straight before you accuse anyone of anything. READ: Do not jump to conclusions.
CONFRONT YOUR FRIEND
Once you have the correct information about who and what was said, confront your friend. Even if confrontation is not your thing, now is the time to bring up the situation at hand. Let her know you are upset that she was talking about you. Maybe ask her why she was and if there is something you could do in order to prevent this from happening again. Be sure to be respectful to her, but also be sure she knows this kind of behavior is not tolerated by a vina.
RECONSIDER YOUR FRIENDSHIP
If there isn’t a way to reconcile after you talk with her, then you may have to come to terms with the fact that you two can no longer be friends. Do not put up with a friend who makes you feel insecure, sad or anything less than worthy.
On the other hand, maybe it was a simple misunderstanding. Maybe she accidentally left something slip and it came out wrong. We are all human and with that, we are prone to making mistakes. Take a good look at the situation and make a decision from there.
TALK IT OUT
Talking about the situation with a trusted vina can bring you the clarity you need. Get their thoughts about the issue and see what they have to suggest. They might even have an idea on how to avoid this from happening again.
But ultimately in the end, you have to decide what is best for you. If this friend is gossiping and sharing your secrets, is she someone you’d feel comfortable being around again? Take as much time as you need to figure this out and remember, vinas should never make you feel less than perfect.
Tell us, have you ever been hurt like this by someone you considered a friend? How did you deal with it?
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