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A LETTER TO A FRIEND I REALLY MISS

Breakups are hard, but when they are with your best friend, they can be even harder.

Hey!

I know that’s not how we used to say hi to each other. We always said “hi” with a high-five, random inside joke, or ridiculous movie quote. When I saw you, it would make my day because I knew our time together would be filled with laughter and giggles at absurd things that would later be the butt-end to our jokes. I miss you.

DO YOU REMEMBER?

Remember how you used to send me morning selfies from the elliptical machine? Sweat was always running down your face. What about your diet? Is it still protein-packed and filled with pomegranate seeds? I miss sharing workouts with you and making fun of how WholeFoods stopped carrying pomegranate seeds because you were the only one buying them! Some of our best conversations were when we would sit by the river eating our newfound exotic fruits, nuts, or seeds. I miss you.

OUR OLD WAYS

Whatever happened to your podcast? I can remember how we used to make Periscope (is that even a thing anymore?) videos all afternoon and pretend like we had our own podcast. People used to tell us that we were so funny together. You were the peanut butter to my jelly. We had people from all over the world laughing at our antics. You were silly. I still laugh at the videos we made together and the pictures that I keep in my desk drawer. I miss you.

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OUR FRIENDSHIP SEEMED DIFFERENT

We had a very unconventional friendship. One that can never be replaced. I thought I’d be able to hold onto our friendship with pictures, letters, videos, recipes, and all the inside jokes that no one else could ever understand. Sometimes I still catch myself looking at your Facebook profile picture. A smirk creeps up on my face as my heart fills with all the good memories. That’s all they are now. Memories, with the saddest realization that we will never make anymore. Some days are longer and sadder because I can’t share them with you. I miss you.

I still wish, each day, that you would talk to me. A phone call or text – just one. I wish that you valued our friendship as much as I did. I almost even wish that you are as sad as I am to see it fall apart. Just tell me:

You miss me too.

Reality is, I know we can never go back to the way things were. Too much time has passed. Our world’s have changed drastically.  I still keep those pictures, letters, and videos but they are now hidden. I understand there will be no more. When a friendship shines so bright, many friendships after it will be dim in comparison. I still have that charge running through me. I will be my own light. Like moths to a flame, people will be drawn to me. And then…

I won’t miss you.

It can be lonely when you’re missing an old friend. Find your new vina now.

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