We get it: One minute, you and your partner are texting every night, sending multiple Snapchats throughout the day, expressing how much you want to spend your lives with each other…and then suddenly, it’s over. The person you spent most of your days speaking with and thinking about is no longer who you can talk to. And let’s be totally honest: it’s extremely hard to not reach out to them.
You now have to think about other ways you can spend your newfound free time or who else will listen to you vent about work. For many, it can be as difficult as not knowing if you will ever find someone else.
But hear it from a vina who’s been there before: You guys broke up for a reason. Any more contact will just hold you back from the extraordinary future that awaits. If you’re not sure how to stop all contact, here are a few tips and tricks:
BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK!
Block your ex on everything: social media, email, and obviously their phone number. If what they have to say to you is really that important, they’ll find you another way to tell you (keep in mind—there was once a time where social media and phones were nonexistent). You might be thinking that you had a totally clean breakup and want to stay friends or that you want them to see you living a great life without them, but listen up: it’s not that easy. Being friends with your ex may be unexpectedly painful, and if you are only living your best life to show off to your ex, are you really living life? Constantly seeing your ex post online will just make them harder to get over. Blocking them is for your well-being and it’ll make such a big difference in your life. Try it for a week and see how it goes. We bet you won’t go back!
WRITE A LETTER (AND DO NOT SEND IT)
Sometimes there are so many things you want to say and ask your ex because you are seeking closure. But at times, talking to your ex may just hurt you more or cause confusion—and you definitely don’t need that stress, vina. Writing a letter allows you to put all your thoughts out there, which is really helpful in figuring out how you feel. Sometimes you had the answers all along—you just had to put it on paper.
BREAK UP WITH THEIR FRIENDS TOO
If you befriended some of their friends while dating, it’s time to say goodbye. You keeping in contact with them is not fully letting go, and that might even mean bumping into your ex every once in a while at group events or parties. If you are truly looking to move forward and not be tempted to go back to your ex, it’s best to 100% remove yourself from any possible scenario like that.
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
Remember what you deserve and that it’s OK to be selfish when it comes to your mental health. You deserve real love, and if keeping your ex in your life is holding you back from finding that, you have to do what’s best for you.
Just remember you broke up for a reason, so why would you want someone like that in your life?
Most importantly, why dwell on an ex when you could be talking to new vinas instead? Heal that heartache and start swiping!