Ah, jealousy: that ugly green monster that comes out more often than we’d like. It’s a normal human emotion; and yet, we’re drenched with shame once we look in the mirror and see that we’re “green with envy.”
I probably get jealous just as much as the average millennial vina, but it feels as though I get jealous way more than I should. As I have been told time and time again, and what I am telling you at this point, being jealous is nothing to be ashamed of, it is only human nature. You wouldn’t judge a toddler for crying because they want their mommy to play with them and not the other children. So, why judge each other?
And we’re not alone: About 80 percent of people younger than 30 reported feeling envious in the last year, according to a 2015 study.
However, the actions that come along with the jealousy, that’s something you need to watch for, though. No matter if you’re in a relationship or just jealous from feeling FOMO, your actions can do harm. They can do much damage mentally, physically, and socially to most, if not all, parties involved. Something seemingly harmless along the lines of a little social media “stalking” can do damage given the wrong circumstances. Especially if you accidentally double-tap their Instagram post from 2015. (sad to say we’ve been there and not looking to go back).
The best way that I deal with jealousy is just by talking about it. Talk about it with your friends or family, or even the person(s) in question; if you are jealous of your partner’s success or the fact that they hang out a little too much with “Cheryl,” tell them how you feel in a calm tone. Remember that unless they have a mind-reading ability, they might not know how you exactly feel. Nobody likes to be accused, even if he or she is a guilty party. If you go around pointing fingers, people will be quick to shut it down. The takeaway? Talk to your partner about your feelings but in the right place and right time. Explain to them why you’ve been feeling jealous and communicate with your S.O. on your feelings and why they may be flaring up. If it’s something that may require talking to a therapist or going to couples’ therapy together, there is absolutely no shame in that, vina.
To figure out where your jealousy is stemming from, we suggest that you start to write down your feelings of jealousy and when they come about. Try to analyze what you see and how you can address those feelings. If you tend to feel really jealous after spending time on Instagram, for instance, maybe it’d be better for you if you invested that time on reading a book or trying a new hobby instead of scrolling through Insta. Try it for a week and see if you notice a difference in your jealousy.
You also might want to remind yourself why your life is pretty great, too. To combat feelings of jealousy, spend some time thinking about affirmations and what makes you happy in your life. That way, if jealousy is getting the best of you and you feel it creeping back in to steal your happiness, you can think back to this affirmation list and talk that green-eyed monster off.
Did you know that expanding your social circle can make you feel happier? Stop with the FOMO and make plans with new vinas here!