When faced with a tough situation, how do you handle it? Do you clam up or ask for advice? If you’re like me, you seek advice from all the strong people around you to help you move forward. I usually look to my vinas, my family, or my husband to help me sort through the mess.
Over the years, I’ve been given some great advice but hands down, the best advice I’ve ever received came from my father. During a very difficult time of our lives, I was trying to make sense of a terrible situation and wanted to keep trying to “fix” things. Everything I offered came up short and I felt lost. Then, he said to me:
“Be silent. Be still.”
Those four little words smacked me right upside the head. I, having been a talker and a fixer for most of my life, really took it to heart. I don’t need to respond to everything. I don’t need to fix everything. It’s comparable to the iconic song “Let It Be” by The Beatles— I just needed to learn how to simply sit back and let things work themselves out.
This advice was sort of like the phrases, “this too shall pass” and “don’t feed the trolls” but seemed so simple and easier to follow. Once I realized the impact being silent and still could make, it was much easier to deal with the situation. That, and not adding fuel to the fire helps it burn out quicker.
Pondering this, I wondered what others had to offer. I asked several vinas: What is the best advice you’ve ever received? The response blew me away; I would have to publish a book to include them all! I sifted through the advice given by many of these women and gathered a pretty solid list here to pass along to you. These range from general life advice to handling relationships. You’re going to want to bookmark this one, babes!
“You’re never going to be good at it until you’re not afraid to be bad at it.” – Erin
“Your greatest passions can often be found within your deepest wounds.” – Danielle
“Stop and ask yourself: is this going to matter in five days? Five months? Five years from now? Almost always, the answer is no.” – Haley
“There’s no hope for a better past, only for a better future.” – Elizabeth
“Don’t complain about a problem without trying for a solution.” – Jessie
“No one will advocate for you but you!” – Jenna
“It’s OK to walk away from toxic people for your own mental health, even when it’s an immediate family member.” – Erin
“Approach every argument in a relationship as US versus THE PROBLEM, instead of YOU versus ME.” – Allisa
“The 3-Cs from AL-ANON has helped me immensely—not just with loved ones and addiction, but with relationships and dealing with others’ issues in general: I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, I can’t cure it.” – Bridget
“You can’t control others, only yourself. You do you and the rest will come.” – Abby
ON WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU:
“People can say whatever they want about you. You just make sure it isn’t true.” – Cee
“What other people think of you is none of your business.” – Meron
FOR THE SAKE OF HUMOR (AND TRUTH):
“Don’t start none, won’t be none.” – Mona
“You don’t want bangs – you want therapy.” – Anastasia
So vina, what’s the best advice YOU ever received? Write it in the comments below—let’s keep this a running thread to reference when we are in need of some amazing wisdom! And if you want to connect with a new vina, click here!