We’ve all been in situations before when suddenly a person we once knew and called a friend starts to distance themselves, be noncommittal, and their one worded responses turn into complete silence. Often times this occurs during one’s middle and high school years, but unfortunately it doesn’t always end there. Even as adults, our peers can be someone we talk to on a daily basis, and then suddenly, not one word would be spoken between one another for a period of time. If they no longer want to try and be friends with you or starts avoiding you, what do you do?
CONSIDER AND EVALUATE
How close were you really with your vina? Was she just an acquaintance or was she your main chick, your go-to for any given situation, your most trusted confidante? Going through memories and past conversations or experiences with your vina will help in guiding you to your next step on what to do if a vina is ghosting you.
However, if they are ghosting you because they believe you are associating yourself with a toxic relationship and they have tried talking and reasoning with you, then chances are it’s best if you were to take the time and evaluate who is more important: someone who has been by your side, being honest with you, or someone who you think you can’t live without, but is being manipulative, dishonest, and untrustworthy.
SALVAGEABLE OR NOT?
There were times where after thinking about my friend and missing the kind of relationship we had together, I would try and reach out. Any relationship is a two-way street and would need both people’s cooperation. If the conversation is only one-sided, or if you’re putting in more effort, than maybe it’s best to cut your losses, and move on. At least you know you tried everything you could to salvage your friendship.
DON’T BLAME YOURSELF
Just like with any relationship, there’s always a small percentage of self-doubt when something goes wrong or if there’s an argument. You might start questioning what you could have done and what you may have done wrong that caused your friend to start ignoring and rejecting you. It may be difficult, but don’t start blaming or questioning yourself! Sometimes relationships just fizzle out because of other things going on in the other person’s life or the lack of common interests. When that is the case, in no way was the fault your own.
DON’T SWEAT IT
Along with not blaming yourself, don’t let someone ghosting you affect your other relationships or affect your school/work mindset. Additionally, don’t dwell on the ghosting. Dwelling turns into questioning, and questioning turns into self-doubt. Just remember you still have other friends and your family who love and support you for who you are.
Just because someone ghosts you for lack of common interests or both of your ideals change, doesn’t mean YOU have to change your beliefs, change how you dress, how you talk, or how you think. If they’re forcing you to change a part of yourself to be more compatible with them, then they aren’t people you would want to be friends with or associate with. Surround yourself with people who will pick you up, support and encourage you, and also be real with you when you’re doing something ridiculous. Don’t settle for anyone that tears you down or make you feel like you’re inadequate. Settle for people who make you laugh, smile, and push you to be your very best.
If you have been ghosted, we’re so sorry! Start swiping for a new vina here!
(Featured Image via @h-o-r-n-g-r-y)