This year, I promise myself that I will be miserable, do things that makes me unhappy and fail at everything I set out to do… says everyone every time we set a New Years resolution.
Everybody wants to succeed. And everybody wants to be happy and healthy regardless of the situation. Everybody wants to be peaceful and fruitful. So why do we purposefully set ourselves up for failure with impossible New Years resolutions? If running makes you miserable then why do you want to do more of it? Because it’s the best way to get fit? NO! It’s the best way for ME to get fit. For you, it might be cycling. If eating chocolates makes you happy during PMS then why would you not want to do the one thing that makes you happy when you’re on your period? Why do we make ourselves miserable based on others’ life paths? It stops here and now.
It has been proven that your drive to complete a task diminishes every time you fail at it and that failure makes the same goal seem difficult and hard to attain. Which means you have to put more effort into staying focused the next time you try. More focus means more brain power. More brain power means more fatigue. Fatigue turns into stress and stress makes you grey. So why! Why do we go grey over things we can actually control? Try setting easier more accomplishable short term goals that will eventually turn your whole life into a success story as opposed to one large impossible goal that you’ll fail at, most probably and statistically speaking in two months, and feeling regretful and hateful for the next ten months over your inability to help yourself.
The good news is, the task is not impossible. Failing makes us feel helpless and that leaves an open wound. Our minds, in an effort to prevent future “wounds” and feelings of helplessness, makes you think giving up is an easier out. So your mind makes you think that to give up after failure is success. That is some serious business.
But how do we succeed at seemingly impossible tasks? I mean how do you possibly drink 2 whole litres of water in one tiny day? Right? But you don’t drink a whole 2 litres of water. You drink one glass at a time, one every hour between 8 and 5 when you’re at work. Boom! 2 flies with 1 stone. 1) you’ve had your water and 2) you’ve walked to the water dispenser and back so 10 000 steps for the day in the bag.
Everyone of us have set ourselves up for failure for as long as we have known ourselves. I read somewhere that the only thing falling down several times shows is how many times you got up. So let’s turn your 2 litres of water into 8 small glasses a day together. You got this, Vina, you can do it.
First, change your mind. You’re never gonna beat yourself at your own game if you think the same. What is that saying about the definition of insanity? Exactly! So come on let’s do this. Also, it’s important to ask yourself who you’re setting the resolution for. Is it for you or someone else? If youre doing it for someone else, drop it. It’s not gonna work.
Let’s say your resolution is one of the following,
NYR: I’ll go to the gym more often
Solution: I have to try my best to make time to walk 10000 steps this week.
Outcomes: you will feel so motivated and so pumped after completing your goal that you’re going to end up wanting to do more. Go ahead push yourself to the next level. You can do this!
NYR: I’ll eat less chocolate.
SOLUTION: I’ll dark chocolate only or I’ll have no sugar in my coffee to make up for the sugar in my chocolate or I’ll do a sugar free Friday once a month
Outcomes: you’ll end up being so proud of yourself for sticking to your goal that you’ll want to do longer sugar free days. Sidebar comment, you’re gonna love sugar free coffee so much you’ll never drink it with sugar again. And no sweetener or sugar free drinks. Our bodies does not know what to do with extra sugar already so can you imagine how confused it must get when you put sweetener in it? We can’t digest that stuff. Just leave it out. Trust me. Water is, in any event, better for you.
NYR: I’ll eat healthier this year
SOLUTION: I’ll eat an apple today.
Outcomes: Guess what? You’ll eat an apple a day! Next week, try adding a bowl of oats in the morning with a banana sliced in.
The biggest thing to remember is to not beat yourself up if you slip once or twice. So what? So what of you eat a cupcake for breakfast instead of a fruit salad? If you walk, let’s say a brisk walk around the block for 20 minutes and then another 20 minutes back home, you would have burned off all the calories from said cupcake. Just keep it in mind before you all of it. Everything in moderation.
I’m not a nutritionist nor am I a dietician. But I know my body and my mind and I know what works for me and what doesn’t and beating myself up about it isn’t healthy and it isn’t helping. And I’m no expert but send me a message if you need help and we’ll white knuckle through it together
Bottom line? Don’t set new year’s resolutions. Set new YOU resolutions. They are much easier to maintain.
Feature photo by Jenavieve.