…If you want it to last that is.
My best friend and I are incredibly close. I’d say that she’s like a sister to me, but honestly she’s more like a romantic partner. This friendship was incredibly eye opening to me because I realized that I had been doing friendships all wrong. I was treating my friends like well, friends, when I should have treated them like romantic partners.
Obviously a romantic relationship and a friendship are different in many ways. Romantic relationships are about commitment and a deep love and care for one another, while friendships are a little more casual than that. Sure you love your friend, but probably not the same way you love your partner. Romantic relationships also rely heavily on honest communication, while this can be slightly avoided in a friendship. Being in a romantic relationship implies a sense of commitment, while a friendship can be lacking.
There are conversations that we have in romantic relationships that we don’t have in friendships. Like the commitment talk. Do you see yourself being friends with this person in 20 years? Do they see that as well? If you want a friendship to last longer than high school or college, it takes more than just calling them your best friend for life. It takes an intentional conversation about your relationship, and an end goal that you both agree on. Friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, and if you love having someone as friend, you should make the effort to keep that person as a friend.
When I stared treating my friendship like a relationship, it changed almost instantly. We were closer, we were more in sync, I felt a deeper connection to her. We talked more about stuff that was important to us, instead of just what happened that day at school. I learned more about her life before college, and I felt like I could open up to her more. We were on the same page and I couldn’t understand why I never acted like this before in friendships.
Treating your friend like a partner isn’t just putting more intentionality into your friendship, but actually realizing that your friend is a type of partner, and that relationship deserves the same love and attention you give your romantic ones.