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SO not cool.

It’s never fun when you’re totally vibing with a new friend and she stops responding, out of nowhere. Ghosting is a woefully common millennial phenomenon that’s often an avoidance tactic – when it’s done intentionally.

Many of us deal with enough ghosting in the dating world, so it can be extra disappointing to encounter it in a friendly situation. Friends are supposed to be the ones we count on, after all.

Regardless of why a vina has ghosted on you, acknowledge that it may hurt a little and has nothing to do with you. It’s more a reflection of her issues, and there are plenty of potential besties out there! Try your best not to let it overwhelm you.

But if you’re wondering, these are 3 likely theories why your friend may have ghosted you.


You never know how many other people a person might be talking to. Maybe you were one of twenty other vinas she was chatting with and she just had trouble keeping her conversations straight. Chances are, she needs to get her life together a little better before she can be the reliable friend you deserve.


Don’t beat yourself up too much over the likelihood of this, but it is possible that she’s upset with you and doesn’t know how to express herself, so she’s chosen silence. If you think that might be what’s going on, reach out and address it in a diplomatic way. If she doesn’t respond, move on – you deserve a friend who has the capacity to resolve issues that come up in your relationship.


Not saying this is a good excuse, but it’s certainly one that happens. Hectic jobs, new romances, catching the wanderlust bug – there are a number of things she could be preoccupied with. It’s hard to pinpoint someone’s day-to-day when they’re not sharing it with us. If this is the case, she’ll come back and initiate catch up time with you when the dust has settled for her. True friends don’t let time, distance, or major life events get between a friendship.

TBH, we hate ghosting – it’s always better to tell the truth than to leave someone hanging in our opinion. Have you ever been ghosted? Tell us about it in the comments!

(Featured image via @urbanoutfitters)


  1. Here’s the thing. When I first started with online dating sites and after great conversations was “ghosted” it bothered me. A lot. Kept thinking “what did I say wrong?” I would go back and look at their profiles again and try to undersrand, find any clues why they would suddenly disappear.
    But as time went on it just became one if those things and it’s out of my control. Sure I expended the emotional energy and highs of having a potential connection but at the end of the day it’s just another thing in life that happens. We can’t control anyone else and everyone has their reasons why they stop talking.
    Now, if someone ghosts me I just figured something happened or they just didn’t think we were compatible after all. I don’t need an explanation. Doesn’t bother me anymore. One less person to deal with and bullet dodged.


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