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...Without seeming like a b*tch.

Okay, you’ve received a wedding invitation, and you know that you can’t go.┬áSometimes we cannot attend a wedding because it would be too expensive, because we can’t get time off work, or any other totally valid reason. And you know what? Sometimes, we just don’t want to go, and that’s okay, too.

But how to RSVP “no” without seeming like a total asshole? It’s normal to feel stressed about hurting the soon-to-be-married couple’s feelings or coming off harsh to them or your mutual friends. What if it’s a family member – will you be ex-communicated for not being able to go?

First, know that saying no to a wedding invitation is totally okay. You shouldn’t feel bad about saying no – people may say no for all sorts of reasons. The engaged couple already understand that not everyone will come. You may even be saving your friend some serious cash by not attending! Start by letting go of your guilt if you need to turn down the invitation.

Then, absolutely send in your RSVP with “no”. As a recently married bride, trust me when I say PLEASE do not wait until the last minute to tell your friend you cannot attend, refuse to send in the RSVP, or RSVP yes only to not show up. That will cause unnecessary stress and possibly increase the cost of the wedding for your friend. And that, fellow vinas, is worse than saying no. If you’re really worried about being a bitch – telling the truth is the only way to avoid that.

Now, sending in your RSVP is pretty much the bare minimum that you should do. While you are not obligated to send your friend a wedding gift, it is courteous to at least send them best wishes, either with a card or even a quick email. If you’d like, you can let your friend know why you aren’t able to make her wedding, but you aren’t required to explain yourself.

Tell her congratulations, that you appreciate the invitation, and that you are so sorry you cannot make it. Then you’re good to go!

Have you had to RSVP no to a friend’s wedding? How’d they take it? Tell us your experience in the comments below!

(Featured image via Indulgy)

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