If you’re suffering from BAD (Broken Affinity Disorder) please ask your doctor if this medication is right for you….
Kidding. However, deciding whether or not a friendship is still a positive one can be a rather steep diagnosis and one we shouldn’t make lightly. It can take years of back and forth for you to finally realize that a friendship is draining your battery too fast. For whatever reasons we are less likely to walk away from a destructive friendship than we are a romantic relationship. It’s easy to cut and run when you’re dating (supported, even) but more often than not we tough it out for too long with friends who simply no longer deserve a place in our lives.
First decide if it’s worth saving. How long have you felt at odds in this friendship? Is this years in the making, or a simple tiff over a bad afternoon? Weigh out how many times you’ve felt down because of your interactions with this friend. Are you stuck in the cycle of: confront, space, smooth over, and then move on only to find the problem repeating itself?
Tell yourself it is okay. It is okay to set aside a relationship that no longer serves you. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We grow and we change and people move in and out of our lives. Some friendships while they were once incredibly fulfilling need to be moved to a different shelf in order to allow ourselves room to grow. It is okay to set this aside, it’s probably better for both of you, in the long run as well as the short run.
Have a talk, or don’t. We are often a victim to our own kindness. I am not saying leave bad blood or negative energy in your sphere but talking it out isn’t always necessary. Creating distance can often solve the problem, and chances are, they needed that space too. Whenever I end a friendship, I am always hoping we can reconnect in a few years (5-10) and try it again. Older, wiser, stronger is a good recipe for a friendship.
Move on with love. Whether or not you’ve classified this person as a bad friend bears no weight on how you conduct yourself. You cannot control how other people treat you but you can control how you react to it. Be the bigger person, let go with love, and move on knowing it was a good thing and now it’s not. And make it a point to note any thing in the friendship that irked you, to make sure you aren’t the irksome one in another relationship.
So if you are suffering from BAD, take a breather and then go find a new vina using the Hey! VINA app.
(Feature image via Huff Post)