Life has its ups and downs, that is for certain. Most of the time we can roll with the punches, but every now and then we experience something that completely throws us and we just can’t seem to get over it and move on.
Perhaps you were passed over for a promotion, had a falling out with a friend, gone through a breakup, or are disappointed in a family member. Whatever the case may be, it can feel like we are constantly reminded of what happened, and these memories bring up the same intense feelings of hurt, sadness, resentment, guilt, or anger every time. Not only is this emotionally draining and exhausting, this baggage is only weighing you down and limiting your ability to move on with your life and your relationships.
So how does one move on? Here’s a hint…
Ok it’s not quite that simple. According to Life Coach and Author, Christine Hassler, it is impossible to let something go when we continue to judge the situation as being good/bad/fair/unfair etc., by ruminating over how things could have been, or what we or someone else should have said or done. The reality is that you can’t change what happened, and continuing to judge the situation in any way will only keep these feelings alive and impacting your life.
Think about something that happened in the past that bugs you, and notice the judgemental thoughts that come flooding in. Wow, right? Now think about how good it would feel to be able to think about the situation as “just a thing that happened”, without the weight of judgement and its associated negativity.
Hassler explains that the key to letting go of something is acceptance of the situation, which doesn’t mean condoning what happened, rather you just have to remove the judgement and ruminations. Hassler notes that letting go of judgement releases you from the victim mentality, and empowers you to take control and move forward. In doing so, you may even find positive learning experiences in what you’ve been through and acceptance in other situations in your life, which sounds like a win-win!
(Feature image via pintrest)