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HOW TO HELP IF YOUR FRIEND IS IN A RUT

Heres how to be the support your vina needs in times of trouble

If you’re the kind of person who feels helpless or hates it when your vina is in a rut, you’re definitely not alone. It can be hard to figure out exactly what your role is to a friend who is down and out. Over the years, I’ve learned that when a friend is upset they don’t necessarily need me to fix whatever s going on – they just need me in their corner. Since there isn’t a manual for this, here are some things I do to help my friends when times get tough.

OFFER FREE LABOR

This can be babysitting her kiddos so she can go get a couple of hours of quiet time or going over to her house to help with some of her day-to-day chores like dishes and laundry. Show up with some takeout from her favorite restaurant so she doesn’t have to cook (or clean up).

SEND HER FLOWERS AT WORK

You probably know what her fave bouquet is, so call up the local flower shop and send her a little something to brighten up her day. It’ll put a smile on her face and brighten up her workspace, reminding her she’s got a great friend in her corner even when she isn’t at her best.

SEND A SNAIL MAIL CARD 

 We live in a world where we are quick to send messages via email or Facebook, which can be a little less personal. You likely know her address, so pick up a postcard or a silly card and send it her way. When she opens her mailbox and sees that love in the stack of mail, she’ll smile knowing you’re thinking about her. For even bigger smiles, toss in a gift card to her favorite coffee shop or store she loves so she can treat herself.

DISTRACT 

Distraction is great, especially when it comes to the times your pal is going through some heavy shit. Help her leave the troubles at the door and instead, enjoy some chill time. Go camping or take a day trip to a neighboring city and explore. Take her to a comedy joint or to see a silly movie – after all, laughter is the best medicine.

JUST BE THERE

Simply saying “I’m here for you” or “if you need to talk, I’m here” can work wonders. Often times people who are going through a dark time feel alone and don’t want to burden others with their problems. By opening that door, you’re letting your vina know she’s not alone and that you aren’t bothered when she needs to vent or cry on your shoulder.

What do you do when your friend is on the struggle bus? We would love to hear how you help your vinas through their rough patches – share in the comments below!

(Feature Image via Pen and Peplum

Project Manager by day and writer by night, making it happen from the Midwest. DMB enthusiast, coffee addict, melomaniac, and reality television aficionado. Say hey on Twitter (@nicolemathew) or drop me a line - nicole@nicolemathew.com.

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