Do you have a hard time opening up to new people in your life? Maybe you consider yourself to be a wallflower, or an introvert. But it could be that past experiences are hurting your chances of being able to open up and connect to new friends.
Some reasons why you can’t talk about your life with new people could be:
1. You’re embarrassed: Maybe you’ve never been in a serious relationship, but you’re with a group of friends who seem to have plenty of experience in that area. Maybe you don’t open up because you feel insecure or boring. Truth is, you have something you bring to the equation too! They’d probably be more than happy to learn from you and offer advice!
2. You’ve been picked on or bulled in the past: Got some bad middle school memories of online or real-life bullies? This could understandably be a blocker in forming connections later in life.
3. You’re shy, introverted or suffer from a social anxiety disorder: This is just your personality or chemical makeup, and that’s OK! There are still ways to form positive friendships.
4. You had a tough or secretive childhood: If you had a childhood with some unhappy memories, like your dad’s drinking problem, you were probably urged not to talk about it. But the truth is that is an unhealthy way to live. Opening up and getting help if you need it is the right way to go.
So how can you start feeling more confident in yourself and feel comfortable speaking to and getting to know new friends? Here are a few ideas:
1. Adjust your attitude: Everyone has flaws, and no one’s perfect. Learn to realize that everyone around you has problems of their own, too.
2. Face your fear: Try a few exercises so that you can start opening up to others. You could share something with a random stranger, like your Uber driver. Ask your vina if you could discuss something serious with her over chat.
3. Seek professional help: If your guardedness continues to be a problem, and you believe it’s preventing you from living your best life, seek professional help! See your school counselor or a mental health counselor in your area to start understanding the issue.
4. Say Hey! to more vinas: Keep on using Vina to connect with other women. Eventually, you can make a great connection and convert her to real-life friend and confidante.