Friendship Advice

ELIMINATE WHAT DOESN’T HELP YOU EVOLVE: HOW TOXIC FRIENDS HOLD YOU BACK

We all know no one is their best self 24 hours a day. But how do you know when a friend has gone from a bummer to just plain toxic?

A good friendship means bearing with each other when you aren’t your best, but when a friend constantly drags you down, it might be a sign that you are in a toxic relationship.

Don’t get me wrong! I’m not telling you to ditch your friend at the first sign of trouble. Friends are there to support each other, in the good times, and especially the bad. But might come a point when a vina hurts you too much that it’s better to them go.

I had an experience like this myself not too long along. When I decided to move abroad, of course some friends were disappointed because we wouldn’t see each other as often. But most of them were super excited for me!

There was one friend, however that really tried to make me feel bad. And it wasn’t in a, “I’m going to miss you too much,” way. It was pure malicious intent. She started small, like telling me how horrible the weather would be and how awful the food was. Then she went deeper with things like, “You won’t have enough experience to find a job when you return,” and, “You won’t fit in there.”

Whether it was jealousy or some other issue of her own, he comments put a huge damper on my excitement for the journey I was about to take. I started to think she might be right, maybe I shouldn’t go, or I wasn’t ready. Her constant comments made me doubt myself, and that is exactly the opposite of what a friend should be doing.

I tried to distance myself from her and it was difficult in the beginning, but I soon noticed that I was happier and more confident without her around. I learned that when your friends can’t be happy for you or support you, they’re not your real friends. Sometimes taking some space will help, sometimes it’s better to end the friendship completely.

Overall, friends should build you up and encourage you to reach for your goals. They should be happy about your achievements. They should accept your decisions and support you no matter what, unless you’re hurting yourself or someone else. Building a friendship is hard; letting go of it is even harder. But when your friend doesn’t support you, it will just hold you back, and no one wants that!

Plus, it turned out my former friend was wrong – moving abroad was one of the best decisions I have ever made!!

Have you had a toxic friend in your life? What did you do to deal with it? Let us know, and check out Hey! VINA on the app store. 

 

(Feature image via @lorilyes)

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