When you think of bullies, do you picture a kid pushing others around in a school hallway? Maybe you think of the Plastics from “Mean Girls.” It’s easy to see bullies as kids and teens you encounter in k-12, but what about adult bullies?
Bullying isn’t something that stops once you hit adulthood. It’s something that can exist throughout all ages, but no matter how old you are, it’s never OK.
Like a handful of people, I’ve had my run-ins with bullies when I was in school. But it’s not often I stop to think about bullies once I hit adulthood.
So how do you spot an adult bully?
It’s a person who belittles you. Someone who puts you down or shames you. It is an adult who makes fun of you in a mean and non-joking way. A bully is someone who verbally, physically or mentally harasses you.
I don’t have a list of the bullies in my life, but I do recall those who make me feel inadequate, like I don’t belong or like I’m less of a human than they are.
There’s that woman who tries to one-up me like everything is a competition. There’s that man who makes mean comments in a matter-of-fact way that leave a sour taste in my mouth.
Whether you have a family member who just never seems to believe in you and your dreams, or a friend who keeps bringing out the worst in you, there are ways you can deal with adult bullies in your life.
If you don’t tell someone how their words or actions make you feel, they’ll never know. If you’re someone who doesn’t talk about her feelings a lot, this is difficult. I’ve learned that the sooner you talk to someone who’s raining on your parade, the quicker you can solve the issue.
Don’t worry about what someone will think of you or your thoughts. They’re your thoughts and feelings. Don’t ever feel ashamed to take ownership of them and be who you are. There’s no point in worrying about what the world thinks of you. Go out and be you.
We don’t have time for adult bullies. If someone is making your life harder because they’re bullying you, say goodbye. Their negativity will only bring you down.
It’s time to be vinas who lift one another up.
Have you had an experience with an adult bully? How did you handle it? Leave a comment below, and check out Hey! VINA to stay updated with more #TabooTopicTuesdays.
(Feature image via Zoe Perry )