We’ve all conveniently “come down with a fever” or suddenly “had a family thing” at the exact moment our coworker or classmate texted us to go get drinks. Sometimes you’re just not feelin’ it, and that’s totally fine. But if this is a pattern, you may be experiencing DOMO—FOMO’s lesser-known twin sis.
“Desire of Missing Out” is characterized by a longing for distance and space, which on the surface may appear to go against our human inclination to fit in and connect with groups. But according to Psychology Today, it is more common than people let on. Just Google “Excuses to get out of plans,” and the dozens of articles that show up make it apparent how many people try to pass up plans on the reg.
Those who experience DOMO may keep quiet about it because wanting constant human interaction seems to be the norm these days, hence why FOMO has become so normalized. But some people really do just enjoy rolling solo because it allows them more time to work on their artistic, musical, scientific, you name it, pursuits.
Thanks to Freud *eye roll*, tendencies associated with DOMO had long been considered indicators of narcissistic personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, or schizoid personality disorder. But more recent studies, particularly those by paediatrician and psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott, assert that the ability to thrive while alone implies maturity and self-sufficiency.
So, to those vinas who prefer painting in solitude to partying or doodling in a notebook to dining out: you are not alone. And you are not only not alone but, according to science, you are also strong and independent. Keep doing your thang!
Do you identify more with FOMO or DOMO? Let us know in the comments.
(Featured image via playbuzz.com)