Connect Friendship Advice

HOW TO HELP A FRIEND OUT OF A RUT

Vinas, ever had a job you really really hated? I know I’ve had a few! It’s tough when you absolutely need a source of income that takes up all your energy, time, and happiness. But what I realized recently is that it’s even tougher watching another friend deal with it. Here are ways to remind your friend that even if they feel helpless at work, they have the power!

ASSESS

First, you want to assess the situation. How bad is it? And is it just work that is causing your friend to feel so down, or are there other personal issues they’re dealing with? If it is just work, what part of the job is the problem? Coworkers, managers, the actual labor? How much of the problem is in their control to fix? Answer these questions and proceed.

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WEEKLY VENTING SESH

Plan a day out of the week to do something you both enjoy. I know we’re all busy with our own lives, but this will benefit the both of you, and it’s extremely important to do something productive with your friend’s day off (productive to their wellness, that is). Ideally, do something that allows for fresh air so you can both clear your headspace. Most importantly, your friend really just needs to vent, so let them. And if they aren’t up for a hike or day at the beach, go to brunch! Just get out of the house together.

REMIND THEM OF THEIR AWESOMENESS

The huge problem with work, especially work that you hate, is how draining it is. We spend so much time at work that if we don’t like our jobs, it feels like every aspect of our lives suck. But that’s not true!

Take it upon yourself to remind your friend, it’s only work. Now, make sure not to be insensitive to the fact that five days out of the week, they’re miserable. But remind them that work does not dictate the rest of their life. Your friend just forgot how amazing they are because the job just takes it out of them, so make sure to constantly show them that work does not define them.

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HOBBIES

A great way to forget about work is finding hobbies you love! Picking up some craft you enjoy can also serve as a great reminder to your friend that they are awesome, and it’s what they do outside of work that defines them.

Do something that you both always talk about doing, but still haven’t tried. Take a hip hop dance class, or learn how to woodwork together! Hobbies are great because the possibilities are endless and you’re bound to find something you both love. Plus, it’ll be really great for your friend to physically and mentally apply herself to something outside of work.

OTHER JOBS

Alright, this is a little more risky, but encourage your friend to look for other work, if necessary. Of course it depends where they are in their career, but if your friend is totally unhappy with every aspect of the job, then it may be time to move on, and that’s okay. Just make sure they have a job lined up before they quit this one.

I would only encourage them to find a new job if it is actually the work that they hate. Your friend might actually just be burnt out rather than hating work. We don’t realize that when we’re burnt out, our moods dictate everything else. In order to help, the key is to really listen to your friend and what they are going through.

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STAYCATION

If your friend honestly likes or used to like their job, and they just need a break, give it to them! Be the great friend you are, and plan a little getaway nearby so you and your friend can just relax. Sometimes you just need to reset and refresh yourself, and that may be exactly what your friend needs, rather than a career change. So like I said, make sure to listen to them when they’re venting so you can help in the best way!

Have you been in this situation? Tell us in the comments how you helped a vina, and if you’re looking for more gals to help you avoid a draining job, check out Hey! Vina on the app store!

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