THE BACHELOR RE-CAP IN WHICH I BASICALLY GIVE UP

It’s come that time in The Bachelor season where I’m just kind of…fed up. There’s only so much obviously scripted, heavily-edited “reality” your girl can take before my brain starts to tune everything out and all I can focus on is the black crusty bottoms of Nick’s disgusting bare feet.

So instead of wasting my time analyzing yesterday’s episode, here is a plain old list of all of the things that bothered me (and will now bother you, you’re welcome!):

• Could they not make Nick wash his gross feet before talking to the Vanessa on the front step?
• Corinne saying, “I’m not privileged in any way, shape or form,” and, “Girls are haters.” Ummm…can we not?
• Amber, Nick’s ex they just happened to run into even though she was already conveniently wearing a mic.
• I would like to personally send each and every girl their very own winter coat and make them wear it at all times. I was shivering just watching them at the cocktail party last night.

I will say there were three redeeming things that happened last night: 

• They showed the girls eating. It’s just nice to know they’re getting fed.
• I love Nick’s trendy (and tall!) mama.
• Alexis continues not to disappoint. I think secretly she is the alien and she’s trying to divert our attention. I’m onto you, girl.

What did you think of last night’s episode? Comment below! Tune in next week with your vinas and then come back here for (hopefully) some better thoughts. Missed last week’s re-cap? Read them all here!

P.S. I’m trying not to give any more breath (or…typing energy) to Corinne except for this one point – Saying she is, “not privileged in any way, shape, or form,” whether in the context of the show or life in general is both laughable and offensive. That’s all.