Thrive

HOW TO SURVIVE MOVING BACK IN WITH YOUR PARENTS

As someone who graduated from university this year, let me tell you: the real world is crazy expensive. With soaring rent, food, and entertainment prices, entry-level wages might just not cut it. Like so many other recent grads (and not-so-recent grads) I had to move back in with my dad to afford rent, food, and loan re-payments.

Going from being a strong, independent woman with my own apartment, paying my own bills, doing whatever I wanted with no parent to answer to at home – to being back under my dad’s roof was definitely an adjustment. But don’t worry – if you’re planning on moving home after graduation, or need to move back for any other reason, I’ve got some trouble-saving tips guaranteed to make the transition easier.

SET BOUNDARIES

More importantly, respect those boundaries. Before moving in, set expectations with your parents about the level of independence you want to hold on to, despite being back under their roof. Next, ask them what their expectations are – will you be contributing to house expenses? Chores? (Please offer to help with chores). Will you be expected at family dinners?

It took me a couple months to stop leaving my dirty dishes in the sink, and my dad some time to stop always inquiring where I was when I wasn’t home (who am I kidding – he’ll never stop wondering what I’m up to 😂). Eventually, with patience, we’re getting used to each other’s boundaries and expectations, but if you have an open conversation about these things beforehand you’ll save a lot of time and bickering.

SET A MOVE-OUT DATE

This goes along with setting expectations. Give yourself and your parents a timeline. For you, knowing when you want or need to move out will help you save up the money and begin your apartment-hunt with enough time to actually find a place. It’s also just good to give your parents notice of when they’ll have their space back to themselves. Don’t just tell them how much time you think you need – ask them how much time they’re willing to give. In June, my dad gave me until the end of the year, which gave me enough time to get settled back in the city and my new job, but made sure I wouldn’t be there for toooooo long.

SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER

Take advantage of being home and get in that QT! I think it’s super important to use this opportunity to get in some real time with your family. For me, I had been living on the other side of the country for 4 years and was excited to be back near family. I not only make it a point to spend some time with my dad every once in a while, but also my aunts, uncles, and cousins who live in the area. Who knows where life will take you – take advantage of being near family and don’t let that time go to waste!

KNOW WHEN TO GET OR GIVE SPACE

That being said, if you find yourself needing space – take it. Living at home, surrounded by family 24/7 can definitely get overwhelming, so don’t be afraid to take some time to yourself every once in a while. It’s certainly an adjustment going from living alone to living with your parents, and it’s okay to need alone time. Similarly, if your parents need a little break – a date night just the two of them, a night where they don’t have to make dinner, etc – give ’em some space, too.

Any other babes out there that had to move home? How did you survive it? Tell us in the comments!

(Feature image by Career Girl Daily)

Editorial @ VINA; lover of film, music made in bedrooms, art, and intersectional feminism; and harboring a (not so) secret weakness for reality TV and the color pink 💞💘. If I'm M.I.A. you'll probably be able to find me staring at an Ellsworth Kelly at SFMOMA or taking in the ocean breeze at Land's End.

2 comments on “HOW TO SURVIVE MOVING BACK IN WITH YOUR PARENTS

  1. Alexis Jade

    I just graduated in May. I survive being back home by knowing what makes my mom and I bicker. If I tell her ahead of time that my friends and I will be getting ready at our house, she’s fine with it. If I help her take care of the dog and clean up while she’s away for the weekend, our weeks go by smoothly! I try my best to meet her halfway.

    Like

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