Sisterhood Thrive

HOW TO BREAK UP WITH A TOXIC FRIEND (WITHOUT GHOSTING)

First off what is “ghosting?” Ghosting is a new term that refers to avoiding or cutting someone off completely without a word. One minute they’re there, and the next they’re gone, and you don’t know what happened.

There are situations in life when you want to break-up or let go of someone that can be harmful to your life whether it is physical or verbal. Ghosting is generally the go-to because you instantly cut off contact, but that usually leaves loose ends, conflict, and drama.

If there is someone in your life who you find gives off a negative aura even when you try to reason with him or her to see the positive side of things, or someone who puts themselves first without any regards or concerns to other’s opinions, then that is a problem. What is more toxic is having someone in your life who is manipulative and their words and actions has you questioning your ideals or your other relationships with your friends, family, and coworkers. And if that’s the case, how can you break-up or let go of these people without ghosting or harming them or yourself?

COMMUNICATION

Via MTV

This is the best method by far. Any sort of break-up whether relationship or friendship deserves to be talked out. The best way will always be through face-to-face conversation. Be honest and let the other person know why you are ending things. Lying about it will just hurt the other person when the truth comes out, because the truth always comes out. When talking to them, take into account the atmosphere and how the person receiving the news is reacting/responding. Don’t treat them like a child or be cold and DO make eye contact.

BRING SUPPORT

Via giphy

Support is everything in a situation like this. Bring a friend that is aware of your situation and can give an outsider’s perspective. They can reel you back in if they feel you are being manipulated or being torn down. Additionally, they can be someone to talk to and let your emotions out, because bottling them in is not healthy. Also a plus, you both can treat yourself with shopping or to something sugary and sweet.

DON’T BE MANIPULATED

Via giphy

If you feel that you’ve tried all that you could to salvage your friendship and find that your friend is still toxic to you, then accepting it, and admitting it to your friend is what needs to be done. Don’t let them make you feel bad or let them manipulate you into staying friends with them. If your friend breaks down and cries, make sure it’s genuine. If you’ve seen them break down before just to revert back to their old ways, it’s best to sever ties and go your separate directions. If your friend is being genuinely apologetic, give him/her a second chance, and if it repeats again, say you tried, but this is the end for you.

DON’T DRAG IT OUT

Via giphy

Sometimes it’s easier to cut people out slowly. This is done by not reaching out for plans, providing one-word responses, or completely ignoring them. Waiting for a better time to end things or letting the situation grow is like letting a wound swell and fester. The end result is not good and can turn ugly. You want to stop the problem from getting worst by either improving it or stopping it from spreading.

DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR

Via giphy

People think they’re making breaking up easier by putting the blame on themselves or apologizing on their behalf. The whole “it’s not you, it’s me” just encourages your friend’s behavior and will affect their future relationships. Although you don’t want to outright accuse them of their behavior, but just bringing up examples of what they did that made you feel horrible will hopefully open their perspective, and make them see the error of their ways. This method once again let’s them know why you are cutting ties with them and will hopefully give yourself closure on the situation.

 Have you ever had to break up with a toxic friend?

(Featured Image via Etsy)

 

About JFong

A recent graduate with a BA in English Literature. San Francisco livin', baseball watching, book reading, Starbucks addict, and avid concert-goer.

0 comments on “HOW TO BREAK UP WITH A TOXIC FRIEND (WITHOUT GHOSTING)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: