The art of apology is one that we could all use a brush up on. It’s not something we prefer to get good at because that would mean we’re upsetting the people near us on a regular basis. Yet, being able to take a spoon full of humble is vital to maintaining healthy friendships.
You first have to know when you are wrong and accept the responsibility upon yourself. It is not easy for some of us to do this. In fact, for some, admitting you were wrong is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Ask yourself if you are just simply fighting a battle of ego. Step back and assess the situation for what it truly is, and then be honest with everyone.
Depending on the severity of your situation, your entry point might be different. A text is a reasonable way to nudge the door open. It doesn’t serve as the apology, but it represents a white flag in the distance, stating that you’d like to get together and mend fences. If you feel like a text isn’t going to move you forward, try sending something nice with a hint of “you”. What do you both love to eat or do together? Flowers are always an option. A bouquet of tulips is a wonderful peace offering.
If you can get together, do that. If your vina is far away, talk on the phone or even Skype. There is something earnest in being able to see someone’s face. Get coffee or a drink, and hash it all out. If you’re the one apologizing, you are the ring leader of the conversation. Do not circle around the issue. Choose to be specific and direct:
“I understand that when I did X, it made you feel X. I didn’t realize at the time that I was wrong. I am sorry…”
You get the idea. Don’t deliver an apology in Morse code. If you feel the need to explain yourself, then do that but don’t use it as a means to make excuses. We so often try and dig ourselves out, only to drive deeper in the situation.
It is not always guaranteed that things will go as you wish them to. Unfortunately, apologizing doesn’t always equate to being forgiven. This part is out of your hands. If she needs more time, then you have to give it to her and respect that.
Be sincere. Above all, be sincere. If you really do mean it, then that sincerity will come through your words. Keep in mind that your goal is bridge to the gap that you created and get on with life. It might take some time, but it’s a good place to start.
(Featured image by @Bittersweetromance)