Sometimes, our vinas can be high maintenance with our friendship. In all honesty, it can come off as downright needy. We find ourselves wanting to establish boundaries so that both parties don’t end up feeling hurt. A needy friend can make us feel guilty for not expending what she perceives as the right amount of attention on her. It can result in everyone feeling under-appreciated and burned out. It’s no good either way!
Communication is key to a healthy and supportive friendship. There are ways to approach this uncomfortable situation without hurting your vina’s feelings.
TELL HER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER
Start off by telling your vina how much you love and appreciate her. Like I mentioned before, neediness or clinginess often spread from feeling under-appreciated. So before you go all “I need space” on your vina, remember where she’s coming from and remind her how much you enjoy your friendship with her. You may not even have to tell her you need some space if you just give your relationship a little extra TLC every once in a while.
EXPLAIN YOUR COMMUNICATION STYLE
Let her know that if you don’t respond to her texts or calls right away, it’s because you’re unavailable at that moment – not because you don’t care! If she’s aware of your communication style, she’s less likely to feel ignored. If you haven’t been able to hang out for a while, explain why. Transparency about these things is important in any friendship. If your vina is feeling especially neglected, just be honest about your current situation so she knows what’s up.
Remember, neediness stems partly from your friend’s insecurity and partly from your dismissal of your friend’s feelings (even if it’s accidental). Try to be supportive, yet firm, and always kind. How do you deal with a needy friend?
(Feature image via @mlk-hny)