When a new little human joins the tribe, things change and not just for the new mother. A kid inevitably alters the dynamic of a friendship. Most often in beautiful ways, but sometimes not. When you’re not the one bearing a great transition, it is easy to overlook your own needs, which feel so small in the context of motherhood.
However, it’s important for the health of your friendship that you pay heed to the times in which you need a little space. The tricky part can be asking for it.
A few things to keep in mind as you’re going into this:
- Let her know that the reason for space is not her child. You love her baby, that she/he was made by your best friend, and that makes her child immediately the object of your affection.
- This is an adjustment for you, too. All these years you had her to yourself. This life change will require some adjustment period.
- You don’t have a child. You do not have to take a knee on all non-child related activities, and admitting that doesn’t make you a less caring friend.
- Kids are a lot, even when they aren’t yours.
- Remind her that you’re going to be a better friend if you take some time for yourself.
- Be open and honest. Don’t go cold shoulder and stop inviting her to places or events that might be impossible for her to attend.
- Think about why you need this space. Does it has more to do with the two of you than her child? If your need for space is coming from a deeper place, talk it out.
- Make some plans to do something that is more conducive to bringing the little one along, and this might alleviate any tensions in taking the space.
(Featured image via bellybandit.com)