In life, friends often shift seasons together, entering one phase to another in perfect harmony. We experience many of the great firsts together: shifting into adulthood, celebrating career wins, and comforting each other through heartbreak. However, family planning is a subjective choice that can strain friendships, especially when you are the first of your friends to enter that unknown territory. The first pregnancy is an awe-inspiring experience, but can lead to feelings of alienation.
Pioneering into motherhood as the only pregnant vina in your group doesn’t have to be an awkward transition. Keep and maintain your support network by:
ENJOY HAPPY HOUR – EVEN WITHOUT THE COCKTAIL
Yes, you will need to refrain from the vino at wine bars, but that doesn’t mean that you need to skip out on the event altogether. Go out with your vinas, and discover your local bars’ mocktails. Use the pregnant lady card (and use it often), and ask the bartender to make a drink after your name and to throw it in the order for free.
GET CREATIVE AND COMPROMISE ON ACTIVITIES
Your friend-tivities should move beyond booze-centric spaces. Happy hour is fun, but there are a number of ways to get happy without a drink in hand. Get creative, and go for pre-natal yoga together or work together on a new art piece with non-toxic paint. Host a mini food festival in your living room, and taste test food cravings and weird pairings.
EXPLAIN THINGS AND GET THEM INVOLVED
Sometimes, the tension in friendships between pregnant women and their friends comes from a lack of knowledge about this new phase. Take the time to teach them about what is going on with your body (talk about how great new mom boobs are), and involve them in your experience. Bring your BFF to your next doctor’s appointment. Ask your photographer vina for a maternity photoshoot.
DON’T TALK ABOUT PREGNANCY ALL THE TIME… OR EXPECT YOUR VINAS TO UNDERSTAND IT COMPLETELY
Your new venture into motherhood is an unique, life-altering experience, but it doesn’t have to be the focus of all conversations with your vinas. Take a much needed break from pregnancy talk, and chat about the changes in your own friend’s life. Another important thing to remember is that your vinas won’t completely understand what you’re going through. Don’t expect them to have telepathic empathy, and seek advice from other moms.
FIND NEW MOMS ON HEY! VINA AND AT MATERNITY CLASSES
Don’t know other moms in your close friend network? Diversify your girlfriend circles by swiping right on new moms on Hey! VINA or starting a conversation with potential friends at your maternity classes.
Remember that it takes a village to raise a child, so build your vina circles now!
(Featured image via @bethanymenzel)