Sisterhood Thrive


In college, I lived with four of my best friends in an apartment we named The Clubhouse. Throughout the three years we lived together, we all experienced our share of break-ups, dealt with countless a-holes, and watched each other get our hearts broken at least once. When you’re navigating relationships as an adult, you’re bound to get hurt sometimes, and you’re also going to have to be there for your vinas when they get hurt. It’s our job as BFFs to know how to pick our besties up off the ground and help them move on. At The Clubhouse, we got pretty good at that.

Sometimes, it’s enough just to be there for your bestie when she’s feeling down. Let her vent, cry, eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s. But if you want to really step up your vina game, try these Clubhouse tried-and-true steps to soften the blow.


Okay, we’ll admit there are some times when immediate trash talk is okay (like if the loser cheated or something of that nature). But in any other situation, if the ex-bae dumped your friend, she probably still harbors some feelings for them. Let her make the first move in terms of bad-mouthing the ex. If you do it before she’s ready, she may feel guilty about wanting to defend them, or she may get misdirect her ill feelings towards you. Instead, tell her all the great things about herself that the ex will be missing out on. Like how smart, and beautiful, and funny she is! Because duh, all vinas are very smart, beautiful, and funny.

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📸: @benandjerrys


After the first break-up at the Clubhouse, we realized stocking up on Oreos, Cheetos, and Ben & Jerry’s was the best medicine for a broken heart. Mix snack-time with a GNI (Girl’s Night In), and you’ve got a recipe for success. This is the time where you let your girl vent, try to make her laugh but also let her cry. Give her comfort and support, but also don’t be surprised if she feels like lugging a pint of frozen goodness to her bedroom alone. Give her space until you’ve heard every Adele song blasting through her bedroom door four times in a row – then it might be time for an intervention.

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We definitely have an affinity for selfies…


While we believed in the importance of internal reflection after a relationship ended, The Clubhouse was also really good at distraction. We knew how to have a good time, and we weren’t afraid to drag the others out against their will when we knew they needed a good time, too. Nothing can cure a broken heart faster than a margarita (or two… or three), and a dance floor with all her vinas on it. Also, don’t forget to take ton of selfies. You know, just in case she wants to not-so-subtly show the ex that she’s having a GREAT time without him/her. 😉

👯 Disclaimer: This post might make it seem like the ladies of The Clubhouse were constantly getting dumped. While that is definitely not the case, I will say that in the three years we lived together, three out of four got dumped once. It sucked, but it brought us closer together each time and doesn’t mean we are any less awesome! 👯

(Feature image via

Editorial @ VINA; lover of film, music made in bedrooms, art, and intersectional feminism; and harboring a (not so) secret weakness for reality TV and the color pink 💞💘. If I'm M.I.A. you'll probably be able to find me staring at an Ellsworth Kelly at SFMOMA or taking in the ocean breeze at Land's End.


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